By Crystal

Author's Notes: Unlike 'Forever an Aching Heart', this story is completely and utterly true.  But due to personal reason and other reasons, ages, years and names will be changed.  I also have my whole history box and the diary and I'm currently reading it all the while writing.  Therefore...  Hope you enjoy it.  I might even get some entries from my friends about what they're thinking about this whole story.  And for those that know me, then I hope you'll be able to guess who's who.  Thank you.  Italic letters are what I am thinking while writing this whole story.

Love is always best at the very beginning...

It was during the winter of 2000 that I had truly gotten my first computer.  By that time, my brother, Justin's friend, Chris had just given Justin a new game.  My brother and I both had a computer, and I guessed I just joined him in playing...  The game was called 'Counter-Strike'.  A famous game among internet people right now...  And that, is how my story starts...

"Justin!"  I started screaming as he headshot my head on CS (Counter-Strike).  I had been playing for a few days, and I was addicted already, although I sucked.  I heard him laugh silently.  He was on the Terrorist (T) team and I was on the Counter-Terrorist (CT).  I stuck my tongue out again as I waited for my turn the respawn and when it did, I bought my favourite gun, the MP5.

To my surprise, we weren't the only ones hooked to the game.  Plenty of people I knew in real life or over the internet were hooked.  I would go to the same server everyday and I would see them there at least once per few days.

For the past week, I have been playing the game.  It was during the Winter Holidays right now.  It was ten o'clock in the morning on December the thirtieth.  We were playing on the map de_dust and we were having fun shooting each other...  Although, I missed quite a lot.  I sucked.

While writing this, I can't help think of how hard it is to write.  I have to dig out everything in my memory, and it's painful at times...  I have to recheck all the dates, making sure they're right...  This is a story I would never want to leave my mind, for it is part of me.  I have to reread my whole diary, making sure the dates are right...  I have to reread all the histories of chat I have, just to make sure everything is right and those were my emotions...  I have to dig out everything and every emotion from that day, just to write this...  Painful at times, but I think that this will be good...  Hopefully.

It was on January the fifteenth that my brother joined a clan.  A CS clan.  Clans were a group made up of people that played CS.  The clans recruit good people for the clans.  I was terribly proud of my brother.

School had already started and my grades were dropping a bit, but still remaining on a B.  In the morning, I would wake up at seven o'clock to play CS until eight twenty, when I brushed my teeth and dressed up, got breakfast and started walking to school.

During school time, all I would do is think about CS and during recess, I would talk to my friends about that wicked game the whole time.  They would roll their eyes, but listen, then I would change the topic sometimes, getting slightly bored of talking to them about CS because they had absolutely no idea what it was.  But whenever I changed the topic, they would start talking about guys.  Ugh.

But I stayed in the topic anyways, sometimes telling them who I thought was cute and who was not.  During that time, I had only two best friends.  Erica and Serena.  Erica was a rich girl that was very pretty, I had to admit...  And that all guys thought she was pretty.  Serena was just a skinny short girl with darker skin color...  Me?  I was the tomboyish kind of girl that was unusually silent for a girl...

Ever since I was born, I hated gossiping and talking much.  Although I did not mind listening to people talk at all.  I usually talked when I was spoken to and shared my thoughts when I felt like it.  I was always a cheerful girl, and laughed and smiled at every second of the day.  My mother told me I was like that ever since the day I was born.

Whenever I was sad, I would rarely show that to anyone.  I thought that by being happy, everyone would love me and I love being loved.  Whenever I cried, I would hide in my room, muffling my voice out...  I would not show anyone I was sad, for I rarely was even sad.  I was always optimistic about everything...  Life was as perfect as it got for me, and I did not understand why people always said their life sucked.  Mine was good, and to me, everyone's life wasn't bad at all.

I was terribly naïve back then...  Too naïve for my liking...  Perhaps...  Perhaps that was why I was hurt.  Yet, if I knew how wrong I was back then...  Life was never perfect, not to anyone.  Life was never perfect for me, not even near...  At least not after what happened, but I won't get ahead of myself...  So I hope you wait for the next chapter...  Hope you enjoyed this.