"And that was all I needed to make sure that she was okay. And I lost her, Brian. I lost her to my own stupid ideas and now I don't even know where she is. I'm more then fucked. I'm lost. But thank you for listening and treating a dead man to a drink." said the young man in his mid twenties as he let the shot glass of Jack Daniels rest upon the oak table. He didn't usually drink, but this was one of those days...when the thought of either killing himself or moving on from a loss was ruining his mood and his day. He didn't really care what happened and that was that. He carefully picked himself up off the stool and took his suade brown leather jacket and rested it on his blue button up work shirt and smiled to Brain, who was slowly becoming his bestfriend and you know that you've lost it when the bartender was your bestfriend. You can tell that is when your life has gone down the drain. And that there is nothing left for you now. Nothing but the faded dreams of a broken heart, and that was all Kris had now. Images of a broken heart and dreams that didn't exactly create the ideal image of love and hope in his mind. He slowly weaved in and out of the crowd by the door and left the bar and the tempo country songs that he loved so much. The rain drizzled lightly upon him and cascaded across his shoulders, hair, and face, but he didn't care. This was about the best he was going to get...and he didn't really have a home, so his next thought was where would be a great place to crash.

He reached the bridge and looked out on to the ocean and sighed. He knew that he had no meaning in life. That it was all lost. He had nothing. No love, no friends, nothing but Hell. The soft sound of the rain dancing on the water was almost calming as he pressed his back up against the stone wall that blocked so many from falling over and killing himself. He reached into the pocket of his jacket that was still resting on him and pulled out a picture of his girlfriend. She didn't leave him, but he was all too alone to care to think that she was away. So far away. It was just for a couple days, but the pain from being away from her grew more and more and he didn't know how to take the intensity of it. It was like his mind and body acted as one. He needed, wanted, desired to have her. He could almost taste her sweet after taste and smell her beautiful perfume...the smell of a desert rose and the oceans elegant breeze in the evenings twilight. He touched the wet picture with his middle and index finger and caressed her cheeks. He let a small tear slip from the corner of his eye and let the picture fall within his hands and pulled his knee's closer to him. He was crying now, desperate, and alone, longing to be with Kara. He could hear the soft tones of the Tantric song, "Mourning" as he cried...that when morning came he could see the signs and he knew why he couldn't make her happy...that he had forgotten how to love on purpose and she was starting to show him how to again. When the rain started to pound down on him and make it harder and harder to stay, he picked himself up and limply walked around the City. It was a dead silence that he'd never known. It was as if the entire world had decided to stop for him. That all of New York was dead as he was and missed Kara as much as he did. But why? Did it even matter?

Buildings passed and the vague image of love painted on his heart remained a shadowy ideal that he was still longing for. He just wanted to have his Kara, his sweet angel, his Goddess. That was all he wanted. The thoughts of being away from her killed him. And nothing could compare to her. No one could. How could they? When he would awaken to her smiling face it was the most perfect thing in the world. He was at peace. Nothing was wrong with life. Nothing at all. He would gently press his lips against her flesh and drink from her soul as he kissed her and caressed her beautiful cheeks and she would stir a little, but never enough to awaken from her slumber. He would often find himself crying softly because he was so happy and it didn't matter. Nothing in the past mattered for what it was worth now. It was all her and the wonderous beauty that she had that'd take away all the pain. He sighed softly and smiled, almost remembering and able to feel the touch of her skin against his. He knew that he would have her soon, but would she be there when he got home? Would he open the door and see her smile and his whole Hell be lifted and made into a dream like Heaven that no man would ever know or understand in the wake of a slight piece of romance? Could anyone ever live up to what they did? The beautiful love and bond that they shared? Could anyone ever understand that bond? He didn't think so, and he walked some more...feeling more alone with each and every step taken. He wanted to run. So far away, away from all the pain of loss and lonliness. The small voice in his head was now screaming to him telling him why he ran away...so far away.

As he cuddled into his jacket he heard the sound of a childs bliss and happiness. He looked over to his left and saw that it was the Central Park Carousel. He smiled to himself and walked over, slowly, and careful not to disturbed the little children...two of them, a small boy and a girl, giggling and dancing to the soft songs played. Up and down the carousel would go, and the horses would run their circles and smile at him. He smiled to the children and sat on the bench and watched as they rode. One of them looked really familer, but he didn't know exact who it was, but it didn't matter, it was just nice and calming to watch two children play on the carousel. The children seemed so happy and glee filled to just ride, no mothers or fathers around to tell them to stop...nothing but them, the carousel, and the rain. The rain was letting up now and the kids laughed more and more. It was getting harder and harder for Kris to just watch and he let go and jumped on and giggled to himself. He was finally happy, for once, the touch of the horse made him feel powerful and loved. Just like Kara had. With her soft skin and beautiful eyes that a man would get lost within and not want to find or know his way home...so beautiful. And then the memories of the distant past flooded his mind.

The candle light painted the walls of the room with an almost beautiful romantic setting. The sun had been setting upon the horizon of the Summer House in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia and he held her in his arms, making sure that she was safe and fine. That nothing in the world could touch her. He knew the pleasures of this because she'd held him just as much as he had her, it was a lovely love that they had, that nothing could go wrong in. And nothing ever did. It was a few months since the first time they'd had sex and this was going to be one of the most romantic nights of the their life, and Kris made it that way, he knew that he had to. He wanted evrything to be just perfect for Kara, nothing wrong, nothing bad, no problems. He'd burned a CD of about six songs to play during their love making, some somber, some loving, some passionate, but the best two were "Mourning" by Tantric and "Your Song" by Elton John...their song, the only song that was as special as they were, the connection of their love was like nothing else in the world or anyone else had known. It was beautiful and it was beyond the reality of the world. They had their own little world. She smiled up to him as he rested his head on her shoulder and watched the sun crawl slowly behinnd the mountians and the painted oranges, reds, and yellows of the sky settled into a calm blanket of darkness. A very welcome blanket. It was perfect. He'd setup the room while she was out with her friends and prepared everything just right. The cool July air wasn't as sticky and hopeless as it always seemed and the breeze blew her bangs from her eyes and he just let go of everything that he'd believed for so long and wanted to hold dear. That this was the worst part of life, that sex was a battle and love was war, but Kara'd changed all that. She'd shown him how to love once again and how she did it was in many ways that he didn't understand, but she was rather right. He wanted to runaway to be with her, so badly and when the time came, it was so right and now he was aiming to make better then the first.

He smiled to her and slide up with her and watched as the finale of the sunset closed. He rested his hands softly upon her precious shoulders and cuddled her close. He loved the way her hair blew into his face as the wind ran through it. The smell of her prefume was so intoxicating and natural. She never really wore perfume, and that was something that he loved about her, and when she did it was even more sensual and lavenderous because she set it off so well that he could almost always taste the scents and desired her more. She was everything that he wanted and so much more he couldn't ever describe her to the friends that he had in both Virginia and New York, how could he ever? She was like the Goddess herself, she was the Goddess...she was the most beautiful creature to ever be created and to walk the Earth. It was an age old saying that the luckiest man to walk the Earth was the one that found true love...and he had. He never really knew what she felt until the night that he'd had made sweet love to her and since then they'd been locked in a bond that no one could break. Not even the worst of hours or the darkest of days. He carefully massaged her shoulders and whispered into her ear, "I love you, Kara...come with me."

She followed him into the room that was not even six feet away and stared in awe at the beauty of it. Kris had spent hours making sure everything was just right and not a thing was hit off or set off without breaking into what was already toned and presented in the afterglow. He smiled softly and looked her over and she smiled back. Her body was making him more intense and he could feel the rightious erretions coming and he let her walk him to the bed. A sweet rose was placed on the vanity and a pair of glasses with Chaniti wine rested next to it, and the velet satin sheets swam as he pressed against them with her now on top of him, kissing him and him her, locking eyes and lips, never leaving on anothers gaze or embrace. He slowly took her hands and placed them over her heart and smiled. He kissed her heart and removed his hands from it, forming a small half heart with his hands and so followed his lead. It was something that he remembered she would do with him to see if it really was love and it was now that he knew it. She let him touch her skin and the climatic feel of her body against his now made him more excited and he caressed her sides with his hand, sliding to the zipper on the back of her leather mini skirt and let his hands do the work, locking lips once again and drinking her saliva and taste with it. His mind and body worked as one as he slide the skirt off and she lifted her legs to fling it, as she undid his shirt, at the same time, running her hands across his warmth and breasts. She slide her hands down his pants and undid them and slide those off, letting him play the undressed first, and the temptation. He softly pushed her back and her hair flew across the pillow and combine with the velet satin sheets to form a picturesque image. The blouse was slowly being lifted to expose her lace black bra and he smiled. He reached over and took some of the wine and poured it slowly into her navel. She jumped a little and gasped. It was electric as soon as his tongue touched her skin and drank the wine, she bolted upward and he jolted forward, feeling everything that she was at the same time, the intensity was climatic and not even the most intense sexual ecstasy could compare as the two lovers embraced the energy as he let his tongue work around the navel and warm the skin.

She slide down his briefs to reveal his errection and touched it, and he jolted once more, and gently crashed on to her, and smiled as softly as possible with the static electricity running through him. She winked and took the rose and licked the stem, handed it to him, and he carefully and slowly caressed her body with it, but stopped upon reaching her bra. She leaned up to see what was wrong and he -- without speaking a word -- took his teeth and tongue and unhooked it, hook by hook, inch by inch making sure to send shocks through her as his tongue pressed against the ultra sensitive breasts that no woman would ever have or know as such beauty. Once off with that, he wraped his mouth around the nipples and massaged them with his tongue, while his hands released her panties from her body, revolting the jolts that sent from the careful pealing and the ride of his fingers against her preciously soft skin. No man had ever done this for her, and he could see it in her eyes, and she was fighting the urges and impulses that were rocking in and out of her body. Nothing could hold this back now and she was ready to take him. She grabbed his body and thrust it into her. He locked and the vaginal walls cased his penis as he rocked slowly and romanticly, still sucking around her nipples and running down the side of her body, memorizing the contour of her body and complexion. She moaned softly and he let off, letting his tongue ride to her mouth and sucked the saliva from her. The taste of her breast and her salive mixed into the ultimate aphrodesiac...a blend of rosemary, ocean breeze, Chaniti wine, and a million pleasures and delights. Denied from release he swam around from within her body and crawled slowly closer, the music hummed softly and she could almost hear him breathe upon her, as he released from her mouth his lips. The expression on her elegant face was enough to make even the most sexual driven man want more, but he was like that in no respect, he didn't like the idea of fucking, but the idea of romantic movie sex. He climaxed even faster now then before and she screamed, loud enough to break the wine glasses and send the glass slowly clattering to the floor. He had to remove or he'd reach nirvana sexually. And he had, breathing harder and thrusting more now, she screamed louder and louder, the jolts and shocks and intensity increased, the closer he got the more he could feel her and the more he could sense her pleasure as the explosions kept coming, one right after the other, more intense then the last in waves and crashes of extremes, he'd been orgasming as both a man and a woman as had she, connected to him as though they were of one mind, one body, one sensual being.

Finally able to pull away he sighed and forced himselef to breathe as she forced herself to. The feelings crashed and rose with unexpected warning and they'd been done. The satin against his skin made him feel like he was God. She looked at him and he looked at her and he knew that she'd been climaxing as much as he was, because the looks were priceless and pure love. Nothing like this had either of them really known...or could ever top, the sex wasn't all that mattered, it was the union and the real feelings expressed during. The matter and the sense of being one and not two as it went on. She cuddled close to him and let her body touch his and he smiled, curling her hair around his finger and looking to the dark blanketed sky...it was the perfect evening ending with her in his arms, resting as he soon followed...

The memory sent jolts though him as the ride slowly carried on. The laughs tore into his mind and the ride slowly turned into a personal Hell...going faster and slower, rain pouring harder and softer...he leapt off and landed in the mud. The sounds died and he looked back to see that there was no carousel. No children. Nothing but air. What was going on? Had he concocted it? A soft arm shot him up and he looked up, drenched in rain, covered in nothing but his jacket and cloths to Kara who was smiling. She was back and joy filled him. He smiled and walked with her back home...and never forgot his haunting carousel ride with the two children without parents.