Creature

What is this that I am becoming now
Am I a man or a woman at heart
How can I decide or know when everything is crashing around me
Met with nothing but anger, betrayl, unacceptance, and discomfort
All I want is to be accepted and know what I am
Am I the boy that I was born as
Or the woman that I become when being the boy I am is too hard?
Mocked everyday and shot with bullets of anger
How can I ever understand myself when no one else will try
In the end I want to die or be left the hell alone
And to get so far and lose everything is as painful as death
I think that I know what I am
But then I find I am nothing more then a mistake
A freak of nature or a creature that has no rights
No man would ever want to accept me as one of them
And no woman would ever love me for what I am
I am a creature and nothing more
Without feelings and cast aside by the world of what thinks is right
Who cares what the little boy in a dress wants or how he feels
He is nothing to you but a freak
And could he find his way in life would it be worth your time to help
Never because no one wants to help a creature that nothing can be understood as
And no one wants to understand me
Crying myself to sleep every night I find I am nothing to you
I am nothing to my own self but a faggot
A man that can't stand to be one
So instead of dealing he retreats to being a woman
When the silky smooth fabrics touch his skin he is instantly self
And finds a light meaning and friend
But no one still wants him as a woman
Dare he try and belong he'd be rejected by the manly men
And the girly girls still hate him and stick out
There is only one thing that you should know now
That I've pushed as far as I can
And for all this there is only one thing you better know
I put my trust in you all
And belived that I had a chance to shine as a woman
Or even as a man that I am
But now I see that I have none and I am truly alone in my madness
And no one shall ever love me