I hope you enjoy my pitiful attempt at humour.this is a one-time-only type thing. In case you're wondering, Llynhwch is my own miserable little fantasyland. I'm not mad, the voices told me I was fine.

Hwyl! -Gwenllian ************************************************************************ Druids Wanted-Apply Today!

Good morning, prospective Druids! I am Garanwyn Lynower, student of the renowned Druidic College of Llynhwch, and I will take this opportunity offered me to inform you of our august institution.

The Druidic College of Llynhwch is an ancient and honoured institution, dating over 900 years back to the reign of Tangwystal the Sadistic, who perhaps you'll remember for founding the public education system. It offers the finest Druidic training available anywhere on the island, with the least amount of blood! Excruciating pain, of course, is to be expected.

So, anyway, the College is a marvelous place, when you can find it. Surprisingly enough, it is not enchanted or migratory or anything of that nature, it's simply that revealing its location has been known to result in slow, painful deaths of the traitors and all of their acquaintances. Bitten to death by wild mwncis is a popular revenge. But believe me, the masters know when careless, skeptical students are about to unveil the secret, and they have means of preventing it. When this event is sensed, they-ARRRRGH! AAAAAH! OH, THE PAIN!

No, this doesn't have anything to do with French bread. Apparently I was not supposed to inform you of the consequences. I apologise, Master Ei- ARRRRGH!

Oh, well, I cannot reveal the names, either. Right then, what may I say? Oh, yes. The food is quite good. We eat loads of potatoes and mutton (not from the sacrificial sheep, obviously. If we consumed them, the entire area would be little more than a smoking crater, with perhaps a few of the scones they force feed us scattered about. Indestructible, them. Such is the wrath of the gods.)

That's about it then. I really fancy keeping all bits of my anatomy attached, so I shan't inform you of any more secrets. Just remember, when you arrive here to enroll, inform the gatekeeper, "The oyster owns a fine wristwatch." He'll know what to do.

Thank you for listening to my informative chat. I certainly hope to have taught you some valuable lessons on the life of a student at the Druidic College of Llynhwch. We hope to see you at start of term. Thank you.

-Garanwyn Lynower, student.

P.S: Contrary to popular rumour, the Druidic order does not practice human sacrifice.

P.P.S: Any person or persons wishing to perform a *special* service to the gods are advised to apply at the Nether Gate between the hours of five and thirteen. Provide your own pointy metal objects. Thank you.