This -will- contain shounen ai/yaoi later on.
Loveless
by Sakura Blackwolf(Doc)
With my pale skin knit into my bones
my touch is sin
my hair is Styx
my eyes, the pools of the many dead
my nails, the claws that scar your face
my lips are poison, you should know
my kiss is threatening
my love is death.
A gloved thumb ran over the page that was before the first chapter, or act as it claimed, of the book in his grasp. He brushed along the small black text that wrote out the short poem he'd grown to memorize by heart. It was natural though, as he's read this book many times before. That book titled 'Loveless' always seemed to grow on him, no matter what he did. He never grew tired of the dialogue nor the words that made it flow like a gentle river. It may have been one of the few things that locked him down to earth. But now, he had to let go of it. Reading time was over as his teacher announced.
But how'd he love to read once more about the girl who reached for her love, only to pull away as if in fear and pain. How she would create fake angel wings to reach him, only for those wings to be broken by the wind. And how when she would finally reach that haven where her love awaits, he would fade away as if he were only a dream conjured up by her imagination. And she, herself, grasping at where he once stood, only to fall, collapse and drown in her own tears- he wanted to read it again.
But now it was time for class.
Stuffing the small book into a pocket of his black backpack, Tobias Lockhart brushed at a strand of chocolate hair that hung over his vibrant blue eyes, that was usually clouded with grey. Settling back into his seat, a red textbook open before him, he let himself unlatch from reality. He couldn't really see the class or the teacher, yet still could. It was just a blur, a mix of colors binded together in a swirl. Everything felt like a dream, exactly how he loved it to be. Just a dream. Sometimes, he wondered if he was living in a dream. Was everything around him really here? Was he really touching this, or seeing that? Or is everything really not there? It didn't matter so much right now though. He felt somewhat content in his own mind, locked away from the world. Faded voices were the only thing he heard, but that was okay.
Absently, Tobias ran a gloved hand over his other. People had always wondered why he wore gloves. And he wasn't about to say why either. But some nosy, yet observant, people liked to note that he always lightly flinched whenever he picked up his pen to write. And the rumors like to say it's because he has a big long scar(self-inflicted, of course) on both his palms that never healed. Yet, it was not true. But somehow, his status made it believable.
In fact, he didn't even know how he got his status. It just happened one day, and he knew. He never enjoyed talking to people. And people never liked talking to him. Like maybe they were scared to find something they didn't want to know about him., whatever that was.
Some rumors like to say he was starving himself.
And maybe he was, slightly. He was terribly thin, compared to somebody on the football team. Some people commented that he had the body of a woman. That was probably true. He always found himself thin like some girls in his school, no matter what he ate or drank. That didn't, though, mean that he was decaying away his health.
He let one ear open to hear the teacher, so to take down notes.
Though his reputation probably made him 'Most Likely to Die Before College'. Not that there was such a category of vote, but if there was he'd win. But it was all lies. People never got to know him, so he never got to know them. And because they never knew him, they didn't know that they were creating false information on someone they barely even knew existed.
Stupid people...
But they left him alone, which is what he wanted. So it was okay.
The brunet sighed inwardly, closing his cloudy blue eyes, sometimes peeking them open to make sure he was writing his notes down on the right paper. He truly did not want to be here, despite the fact he was considered an intelligent student. He really just wanted to waste away, on his bed. Let somebody like the police find his smiling skeletion. He'd be, for once, happy. His mother wouldn't care. She would just be doing the same thing she always did. And that was...
The bell rung and people shifted to gather their things for their next class.
He hated passing through this hallway, but it was the only one that led to his next class the fastest. His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the one who always seemed to find delight in picking on him. Alexander Riddel, or Alex for short really. The teenager was older than him by at least a year, but was nearly a full head taller than him. Those familiar bright, green eyes framed by light brown hair always seemed to stalk him in school. He had absolutely no idea why Alex enjoyed bullying him. It just happened.
Observing even more, he saw the other man's girlfriend attached to his arm. Ariel was her name, and she was as energetic and ready for excitement as the sky was blue. She never joined Alex whenever he taunted him, but she would smirk from time to time.
Turning away from the group, Tobias made no attempt in gaining the green-eyed man's attention. Yet, he did. It seemed like some uncanny ability of his. He felt a shadow loom over from his side as a black sleeved arm slammed into the locker door just before him to stop his path. Feeling his eyes slip shut, he merely ducked underneath the other's arm to continue walking. That is, until he was hauled back by a fist grabbing the back of his collar.
Feeling the oxygen in his lungs tempting to cut off for good, the darker brunet let his head loll back to look into the anger fueled inside those narrowed green eyes. And yet, he made no attempt to speak or move. Let the school discover his bruised and broken body. He didn't care.
"Think you can ignore me, Lockhart?" He said nothing.
"Are you stupid or something? Talk to me when I'm speaking to you, idiot!" Tobias shifted slightly when he was let go, only to be bumped into the metal lockers. He could faintly here the giggles of Ariel and the snickers of Alex's group of friends. Standing up straight once more, he adjusted the straps to his backpack, acting as though nothing had happened.
This is normal. It always happens.
"Do you think you're too good for us, Lockhart? Well, do you?" And it was normal for Alex to say that too.
Brushing a hand through his hair, Tobias lifted his foot to move once more. "Like I always say, Riddel: You know nothing about me."
Nothing.
So what if he was popular? It didn't matter to Alex.
By now, it was lunchtime and he was waiting for Ariel to get her food so they could meet up with the rest of his friends. Leaning back against a support beam for the patio outside, Alex brushed at stray strands of light chocolate hair. But yes, his popularity at school did not matter so much to him. In fact, he sometimes hated all the attention he grabbed. He hated all the expectations he was to meet when it came to Ariel. He hated that he was expected to be with her..forever.
She was a nice girl, he had to admit. And it was really just her friends putting him up to nearly fusing with the blonde. But he wouldn't mind staying with Ariel for the supposed forever. She would treat him well. Or he hoped so at least. Relationships are confusing.
It's been five minutes. She must be talking to somebody.
Letting his bright emerald eyes loll to the side, he spotted a familar brunet sitting by himself on the grass. Dark chocolate locks swept to the side by the wind and grey eyes that pierced people's souls with one look was staring into the cloudy sky. Scoffing, he shifted his gaze away. Lately, he's been finding himself looking in that direction more often, in that specfic location. He wasn't sure why either. Lockhart wasn't a Greek statue after all. And surely it wasn't to pick on him more. He does that enough already. Maybe he just liked looking in that direction. He does that when in the passenger's seat of a car sometimes.
Where was Ariel?
Now, he -was- considering going over just to have a sort of company.Or leaving to find his friends. Or talk to...
Since when did Lockhart seem to intrigue him? He was not happy with this thought.
It's been happening nowadays, where he'd seem to spy on the younger teen. He didn't see the reason behind it though, convincing himself it was just fun and games. But his mom suggested that maybe he -liked- him. He never understood the full meaning of what she implied.
The guy was pathetic. Of course he didn't like him. God, what was she thinking? This was the "ice prince" here! He looked like a girl and never talked to..anyone! Alex rolled his vibrant eyes and crossed his black-clad arms.
No, he just liked to pick on him. It was fun.
But..why?
He wasn't a Greek statue, he was a porcelain doll. Fragile and easy to crack.
Well, that's what Tobias liked to tell himself at least.
It was around this time that Belle came around to eat with him. She was a girl he'd met in his English class this year. Nice, proper, always with a smile on her face. A smile that never seemed to go away. Sometimes he wondered if it was fake.
She was always so polite to him, which is probably why he let himself open a window in his mind for her. She never seemed to feel hostile by his icy exterior. It was..nice.
How they had met was interesting, in the brunet's mind at least. She had said her hello to him, in which he took as another hello-of-sympathy and ignored her. But she reacted differently. She didn't go away, nor seemed to dampen her spirits. She didn't ask the stupid questions he seemed to get a lot like, "Why are you alone?" She just..smiled.
It took a month or two for him to get used to her, but that was fine. She was welcomed.
The rustle of grass was all he needed to hear to know she had arrived. Brown eyes framed by brown locks of hair, cut short, greeted him.
"Hello, Tobias," was Belle's normal, cheery greeting. And he would just nod his acknowledgement before she sat down to eat with him.
The day passed like any other. It was like a continous routine. Something Tobias had to do. A script he had to follow by, word for word, action by action. Except that he was a horrible actor. He wondered if that counted.
And he would come home and set his backpack down, pass the rooms to his mother's. With the house more silent than empty, he would approach the woman who sat in her chair, still as stone. Long, luxious hair littered with wisps of white and grey framed her pale face and dull, hazel eyes stared endlessly out the glass window she faced. He'd repeat his previous words to the dazed adult.
"He's not coming back, you know. He's gone." As expected, she just sat there. The slender teen sighed and walked out to enter his room where he collapsed onto his bed. Dark blue sheets embraced him. He sometimes wished death would too.
TBC
Loveless
by Sakura Blackwolf(Doc)
With my pale skin knit into my bones
my touch is sin
my hair is Styx
my eyes, the pools of the many dead
my nails, the claws that scar your face
my lips are poison, you should know
my kiss is threatening
my love is death.
A gloved thumb ran over the page that was before the first chapter, or act as it claimed, of the book in his grasp. He brushed along the small black text that wrote out the short poem he'd grown to memorize by heart. It was natural though, as he's read this book many times before. That book titled 'Loveless' always seemed to grow on him, no matter what he did. He never grew tired of the dialogue nor the words that made it flow like a gentle river. It may have been one of the few things that locked him down to earth. But now, he had to let go of it. Reading time was over as his teacher announced.
But how'd he love to read once more about the girl who reached for her love, only to pull away as if in fear and pain. How she would create fake angel wings to reach him, only for those wings to be broken by the wind. And how when she would finally reach that haven where her love awaits, he would fade away as if he were only a dream conjured up by her imagination. And she, herself, grasping at where he once stood, only to fall, collapse and drown in her own tears- he wanted to read it again.
But now it was time for class.
Stuffing the small book into a pocket of his black backpack, Tobias Lockhart brushed at a strand of chocolate hair that hung over his vibrant blue eyes, that was usually clouded with grey. Settling back into his seat, a red textbook open before him, he let himself unlatch from reality. He couldn't really see the class or the teacher, yet still could. It was just a blur, a mix of colors binded together in a swirl. Everything felt like a dream, exactly how he loved it to be. Just a dream. Sometimes, he wondered if he was living in a dream. Was everything around him really here? Was he really touching this, or seeing that? Or is everything really not there? It didn't matter so much right now though. He felt somewhat content in his own mind, locked away from the world. Faded voices were the only thing he heard, but that was okay.
Absently, Tobias ran a gloved hand over his other. People had always wondered why he wore gloves. And he wasn't about to say why either. But some nosy, yet observant, people liked to note that he always lightly flinched whenever he picked up his pen to write. And the rumors like to say it's because he has a big long scar(self-inflicted, of course) on both his palms that never healed. Yet, it was not true. But somehow, his status made it believable.
In fact, he didn't even know how he got his status. It just happened one day, and he knew. He never enjoyed talking to people. And people never liked talking to him. Like maybe they were scared to find something they didn't want to know about him., whatever that was.
Some rumors like to say he was starving himself.
And maybe he was, slightly. He was terribly thin, compared to somebody on the football team. Some people commented that he had the body of a woman. That was probably true. He always found himself thin like some girls in his school, no matter what he ate or drank. That didn't, though, mean that he was decaying away his health.
He let one ear open to hear the teacher, so to take down notes.
Though his reputation probably made him 'Most Likely to Die Before College'. Not that there was such a category of vote, but if there was he'd win. But it was all lies. People never got to know him, so he never got to know them. And because they never knew him, they didn't know that they were creating false information on someone they barely even knew existed.
Stupid people...
But they left him alone, which is what he wanted. So it was okay.
The brunet sighed inwardly, closing his cloudy blue eyes, sometimes peeking them open to make sure he was writing his notes down on the right paper. He truly did not want to be here, despite the fact he was considered an intelligent student. He really just wanted to waste away, on his bed. Let somebody like the police find his smiling skeletion. He'd be, for once, happy. His mother wouldn't care. She would just be doing the same thing she always did. And that was...
The bell rung and people shifted to gather their things for their next class.
He hated passing through this hallway, but it was the only one that led to his next class the fastest. His eyes narrowed as he caught sight of the one who always seemed to find delight in picking on him. Alexander Riddel, or Alex for short really. The teenager was older than him by at least a year, but was nearly a full head taller than him. Those familiar bright, green eyes framed by light brown hair always seemed to stalk him in school. He had absolutely no idea why Alex enjoyed bullying him. It just happened.
Observing even more, he saw the other man's girlfriend attached to his arm. Ariel was her name, and she was as energetic and ready for excitement as the sky was blue. She never joined Alex whenever he taunted him, but she would smirk from time to time.
Turning away from the group, Tobias made no attempt in gaining the green-eyed man's attention. Yet, he did. It seemed like some uncanny ability of his. He felt a shadow loom over from his side as a black sleeved arm slammed into the locker door just before him to stop his path. Feeling his eyes slip shut, he merely ducked underneath the other's arm to continue walking. That is, until he was hauled back by a fist grabbing the back of his collar.
Feeling the oxygen in his lungs tempting to cut off for good, the darker brunet let his head loll back to look into the anger fueled inside those narrowed green eyes. And yet, he made no attempt to speak or move. Let the school discover his bruised and broken body. He didn't care.
"Think you can ignore me, Lockhart?" He said nothing.
"Are you stupid or something? Talk to me when I'm speaking to you, idiot!" Tobias shifted slightly when he was let go, only to be bumped into the metal lockers. He could faintly here the giggles of Ariel and the snickers of Alex's group of friends. Standing up straight once more, he adjusted the straps to his backpack, acting as though nothing had happened.
This is normal. It always happens.
"Do you think you're too good for us, Lockhart? Well, do you?" And it was normal for Alex to say that too.
Brushing a hand through his hair, Tobias lifted his foot to move once more. "Like I always say, Riddel: You know nothing about me."
Nothing.
So what if he was popular? It didn't matter to Alex.
By now, it was lunchtime and he was waiting for Ariel to get her food so they could meet up with the rest of his friends. Leaning back against a support beam for the patio outside, Alex brushed at stray strands of light chocolate hair. But yes, his popularity at school did not matter so much to him. In fact, he sometimes hated all the attention he grabbed. He hated all the expectations he was to meet when it came to Ariel. He hated that he was expected to be with her..forever.
She was a nice girl, he had to admit. And it was really just her friends putting him up to nearly fusing with the blonde. But he wouldn't mind staying with Ariel for the supposed forever. She would treat him well. Or he hoped so at least. Relationships are confusing.
It's been five minutes. She must be talking to somebody.
Letting his bright emerald eyes loll to the side, he spotted a familar brunet sitting by himself on the grass. Dark chocolate locks swept to the side by the wind and grey eyes that pierced people's souls with one look was staring into the cloudy sky. Scoffing, he shifted his gaze away. Lately, he's been finding himself looking in that direction more often, in that specfic location. He wasn't sure why either. Lockhart wasn't a Greek statue after all. And surely it wasn't to pick on him more. He does that enough already. Maybe he just liked looking in that direction. He does that when in the passenger's seat of a car sometimes.
Where was Ariel?
Now, he -was- considering going over just to have a sort of company.Or leaving to find his friends. Or talk to...
Since when did Lockhart seem to intrigue him? He was not happy with this thought.
It's been happening nowadays, where he'd seem to spy on the younger teen. He didn't see the reason behind it though, convincing himself it was just fun and games. But his mom suggested that maybe he -liked- him. He never understood the full meaning of what she implied.
The guy was pathetic. Of course he didn't like him. God, what was she thinking? This was the "ice prince" here! He looked like a girl and never talked to..anyone! Alex rolled his vibrant eyes and crossed his black-clad arms.
No, he just liked to pick on him. It was fun.
But..why?
He wasn't a Greek statue, he was a porcelain doll. Fragile and easy to crack.
Well, that's what Tobias liked to tell himself at least.
It was around this time that Belle came around to eat with him. She was a girl he'd met in his English class this year. Nice, proper, always with a smile on her face. A smile that never seemed to go away. Sometimes he wondered if it was fake.
She was always so polite to him, which is probably why he let himself open a window in his mind for her. She never seemed to feel hostile by his icy exterior. It was..nice.
How they had met was interesting, in the brunet's mind at least. She had said her hello to him, in which he took as another hello-of-sympathy and ignored her. But she reacted differently. She didn't go away, nor seemed to dampen her spirits. She didn't ask the stupid questions he seemed to get a lot like, "Why are you alone?" She just..smiled.
It took a month or two for him to get used to her, but that was fine. She was welcomed.
The rustle of grass was all he needed to hear to know she had arrived. Brown eyes framed by brown locks of hair, cut short, greeted him.
"Hello, Tobias," was Belle's normal, cheery greeting. And he would just nod his acknowledgement before she sat down to eat with him.
The day passed like any other. It was like a continous routine. Something Tobias had to do. A script he had to follow by, word for word, action by action. Except that he was a horrible actor. He wondered if that counted.
And he would come home and set his backpack down, pass the rooms to his mother's. With the house more silent than empty, he would approach the woman who sat in her chair, still as stone. Long, luxious hair littered with wisps of white and grey framed her pale face and dull, hazel eyes stared endlessly out the glass window she faced. He'd repeat his previous words to the dazed adult.
"He's not coming back, you know. He's gone." As expected, she just sat there. The slender teen sighed and walked out to enter his room where he collapsed onto his bed. Dark blue sheets embraced him. He sometimes wished death would too.
TBC