I opened up a new website, a webcomic located on my blog(located in my profile). So, I'd really like it if people looked at that too. Plus, I released some art on Loveless there. Though currently, I haven't been in a very motivated mood.
I was told the last chapter was confusing, and that was the point XD. Why? Tried too hard to make readers feel Alex's confusion. Hey, I wouldn't react well if I smacked into someone with a car.
Loveless
by Sakura Blackwolf(Doc)
----------------------
In my bitter sleep, your lovely image is always there
Haunting me gently
I reach up to touch your fading expression
I wake in the midst of the morning light
It burns into my skin
----------------------
It had been two weeks since that day. Alex had been given a few days to recover from the inital shock, but now his parents were feeling like he was over-extending his problems. His dad insisted that since he is a man, he should be able to deal with it and move on. His mom just strained on her smile and shook her head, without saying a word. But he simply couldn't care less about what they thought of him. Every one of them looked at him in disdain.
Alex felt as though he'd been squeezed into the smallest cube in existence. Everywhere he turned his head, eyes would seek out and touch his back. Whenever he would look away, pupils shifted to stare at him. But it was all an illusion created by he himself. The police had been able to cover up the tracks, but neither him or his friends got out of the situation unscathed.
Though he had been proven to not have been drunk that night, he had his license taken away, as well as his insurance. His friends were going to go to Juvenille Hall for being underaged. Everyone would notice. The one who had covered his eyes that day, Michael, always thought aloud. Talked aloud. Never knew of the word, 'quiet.' Surely, someone would notice. No one was pointing fingers at him yet, but soon they would. Ariel and her friends had been the first to note that Alex seemed a bit shaken up the last few days. He brushed it off as being cold.
The morning light seemed to burn holes into his face.
Murderer.
Alex quietly leaned against his locker, his back carelessly prodded by a combination lock securing the rest of his books. He could not find it in himself to go to class. Sure, every student told themselves that, but this was different. It was not out of pure reluctance. It was... He did not realize his eyes were closed until they opened. He was so tired. Every night was the same. Images of a broken doll amongst petals of red. It could not be fixed.
No, he could not fall like this. He was a man. He had to be strong. Ah, but sometimes it was too hard to be like father.
Someone would notice.
Alex groaned and shook his head. Why did it feel like the weight of the world was on his shoulders? His bloodshot eyes closed once more, pouring relief into his tired muscles. No, he wasn't simply tired. He was exhausted. He didn't sleep at all last night, too afraid of the doll with its accusing stares, lying on the floor next to him. Yes, every night was the same. He would waken within his dream upon a soft bed. And beside him would be a pure white mannequin, which continuously stared at him with wide blue eyes. Sure, he would sit straight up in shock and realize that he had been sleeping upon a bed of rose petals. Yes, the doll would keep staring, blood being cried from its plastic eyes. Alex knew every night he reached out to touch the white doll and it ended in him shattering it with a touch of his finger. Gone.
He couldn't sleep here. That thing would come back to torment him soon. He had to wake up. But he was so tired... A few minutes wouldn't hurt. Then, an icy hand reached out and touched his shoulder. Alex immediately lashed out in fear.
"Holy shit! Watch it there, you psycho!" The brunet opened his eyes wide. He was greeted with the unpleasant sight of Eric standing before him.
"..Go away." The blond slumped his shoulders, and adjusted his sunglasses. Really, who wore sunglasses in the Fall? Alex lightly beat his head against his locker. Why? Why now? Why did he have to be woken up by Eric? What was with those glasses of his?
"What's your problem? You get another girl or something? You know you shouldn't cheat, or I'll be after Ariel before you can say, 'Huh'..." Did he think they were cool or something? The sun barely came out at all in this time of the year.
"I bet you did, because you got this stupid, guilty look on your face..." But they would probably be useful in hiding the eyes. Maybe he should get some.
"Maybe I should go after Ariel, seeing as she isn't yours anymore..." And then he could sleep. In class. Bliss.
"What do you want, Eric?" The active teenager paused, and then scratched his head. Then Eric crouched down to where Alex had apparently slid down to the ground in his sleepiness. Not that Alex himself really noticed anyway. The blond adjusted his balance before speaking again.
"Do you know where Tobias is?" The brunet bolted straight to his feet.
"Why? So you can call him a 'slut' again and do disgusting things to hi- How did you know his name?"
Eric shrugged. "I asked his friend a lot, until she told me. Anyway, do you know where he is?"
On the grass a few ways away from the cafeteria, is what Alex would've liked to say, Eric or not. But there it was again, that feeling that dragged his sudden perk back down. It was insane. Pictures of a boy on the ground, drenched in red. They wouldn't go away.
"..I don't know."
He may as well be in his grave now.
----------------------
"You don't look so well." Alex sighed as Ariel absently tucked parts of his hair behind his ear. Gently kissing her wrist, he set her arm back to her side and sighed once more. The blonde crossed her arms, peering up into his eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Really? I don't like seeing you like this." Alex gave a thin smile, absently stroking the girl's hair.
"I'm fine."
"Alex, you've been gone for almost three weeks, and that's okay?!" She narrowed her eyes at him, pulling away from his reach. The brunet sighed, eyebrows furrowing deeply. His head was starting to hurt badly.
"Something just came up. That's all."
"You could've told me. What was wrong with saying something?"
"It's complicated."
"COmplicated?! I thought you were dead!" Alex looked away, wincing just slightly. Ariel burned her gaze into his head, and he could feel its insensity.
"You told me you'd be there for me. And where were you?"
"Ariel..."
"I was worried." The brunet looked up the minute he heard a slight sniffle. Ariel shook her head, wiping at her eyes. Nothing but regret could hold his heart down as he watched her look away. Slowly he approached her.
"Damn you...Damn you!"
He gently embraced her there in the field where they always met, even as students were hurrying to their next class. The lunch he had bought for him and her was covered in ants now, but he couldn't care less anymore. He stroked her hair, and pressed his lips to her forehead. She just softly cried.
"Damn you...."
Everything; it was simply too much. He was causing too much pain.
----------------------
"I wonder where Michael is. He hasn't been in class for weeks."
"Yeah, I know. It's so awkward without him telling us what he did for the weekend or something."
"So quiet."
"I know."
Alex gritted his teeth as he gathered his books to go to his last class for the day. The girls who were most likely speaking of his friend were oblivious to the look he was giving them. He watched them as they went out the door, bumping into another girl who was just entering. She nervously excused herself before beginning to walk to her desk. There was something oddly familiar about her. He'd seen her before. And it seemed she had too, because when she noticed his glance she was heading toward him.
"Hi. My name is Belle."
"Hi...I'm-"
"Alex." The boy raised an eyebrow.
"How did you...?" This girl; she was always seen with Tobias. Yes, that was her. Did she come to scold him or something? Did she come to threaten him the day he finally returned? Not that he would blame her or anything. He did kill her friend, after all.
But instead she smiled.
"Wanted to make sure you weren't just somebody who looked like him. Sorry."
Alex blinked. "Oh, okay."
"Meet me after-school in the front. I need to talk to you." That was all she told him before leaving. Why did she want to talk to him?
By the time he reached sixth period, he was still wondering why. She did want to threaten him. He barely knew her. She was already close to Tobias in a month. He had hit Tobias with a car. It was all coming together in his mind. Perhaps it was better off scattered. He couldn't stop thinking about what this Belle wanted to say.
He was almost dreading it. The knot in his stomach couldn't get any tighter.
His first day back and he still couldn't recover from something that occured two weeks ago. Alex thought schoolwork would've helped to distract him, but it was failing. He looked up as his teacher passed back his last history test. It wasn't the grade that mattered to him when he was taken by surprise. It was the marker that was used.
Red.
Deep, dark red.
Alex turned his test over and leaned his head against his desk. He didn't feel good anymore. There was a sickening twist in his gut, and he wanted to go home now and lock himself up. Forever gone from the world.
----------------------
"Good, you're here."
"What'd you want to tell me?" Alex nearly murmured under his breath as he leaned against a nearby tree. His head was pounding now. Belle looked up in thought.
"Well, I would like to tell you that you're a bastard for running over Tobias. I'm sure you know who that is and that I found out because I am his friend who snoops into things and knows you pick on him a lot so you should know who he is.."
"Thanks. And yeah." And that was a little too cheerful for an insult.
"..I need you to come with me to his house." Alex looked up, headache faintly there in the back of his skull.
"Why?"
"His college money. I need it."
"Some friend you are, stealing his money."
"Yeah, I know." Alex stared at her. Was she serious? But she just looked back, oblivious.
"What? Is something wrong?" She was serious. He narrowed his eyes, feeling disgusted by this girl in front of him. He just wanted to scream at her for being so stupid and selfish, but couldn't for the slight sting he felt against his head. Really, how could someone use someone like Tobias for money? It wasn't right. He grabbed her by the shirt.
"How could you do something like that to someone you call a 'friend'? I won't help you. Get your stupid things by yourself, you selfish-"
"I knew you would say that."
"Huh?"
Belle laughed and smiled at him. "I was kidding."
Oh.
He let go of her shirt and stepped back, unsure of what to say to that knowing grin. Belle hugged her arms and looked at him straight in the eye.
"But I really do need you to come with me to his house and get his money."
He silently questioned her.
"For the hospital."
"What? Why? Tobias isn't there."
"Yes, he is." Why was she looking at him like nothing was wrong? And how could she know? She didn't feel how cold his body was on that sidewalk. She knew nothing. Belle looked up at him.
"I never said he was dead." A flicker of hope.
"He's alive?"
She just smiled that smile.
----------------------
"I've found you now. Finally." Dark blue eyes peered open at the blond's soft gaze across his unmoving body.
"You look so small in that pure, white bed. Almost invisible." He closed his eyes, even as that person speaking to him climbed on top of him. A set of fingers gently stroked his hair.
"You're hurting inside. I know it. So that you can be forever clean of all the pain in this world, I'll take it all away. Let me free you from your scars." Hands slowly closed over his throat. His eyes calmly looked back at Eric, who smiled down on him.
"You are most beautiful when you are dead."
TBC
This chapter took so long to create. I'm sorry. I'm very unmotivated because I have school now, but I will try to update faster next time! Quickly skimming for typos.
Tobias is alive, or is he?
I was told the last chapter was confusing, and that was the point XD. Why? Tried too hard to make readers feel Alex's confusion. Hey, I wouldn't react well if I smacked into someone with a car.
Loveless
by Sakura Blackwolf(Doc)
----------------------
In my bitter sleep, your lovely image is always there
Haunting me gently
I reach up to touch your fading expression
I wake in the midst of the morning light
It burns into my skin
----------------------
It had been two weeks since that day. Alex had been given a few days to recover from the inital shock, but now his parents were feeling like he was over-extending his problems. His dad insisted that since he is a man, he should be able to deal with it and move on. His mom just strained on her smile and shook her head, without saying a word. But he simply couldn't care less about what they thought of him. Every one of them looked at him in disdain.
Alex felt as though he'd been squeezed into the smallest cube in existence. Everywhere he turned his head, eyes would seek out and touch his back. Whenever he would look away, pupils shifted to stare at him. But it was all an illusion created by he himself. The police had been able to cover up the tracks, but neither him or his friends got out of the situation unscathed.
Though he had been proven to not have been drunk that night, he had his license taken away, as well as his insurance. His friends were going to go to Juvenille Hall for being underaged. Everyone would notice. The one who had covered his eyes that day, Michael, always thought aloud. Talked aloud. Never knew of the word, 'quiet.' Surely, someone would notice. No one was pointing fingers at him yet, but soon they would. Ariel and her friends had been the first to note that Alex seemed a bit shaken up the last few days. He brushed it off as being cold.
The morning light seemed to burn holes into his face.
Murderer.
Alex quietly leaned against his locker, his back carelessly prodded by a combination lock securing the rest of his books. He could not find it in himself to go to class. Sure, every student told themselves that, but this was different. It was not out of pure reluctance. It was... He did not realize his eyes were closed until they opened. He was so tired. Every night was the same. Images of a broken doll amongst petals of red. It could not be fixed.
No, he could not fall like this. He was a man. He had to be strong. Ah, but sometimes it was too hard to be like father.
Someone would notice.
Alex groaned and shook his head. Why did it feel like the weight of the world was on his shoulders? His bloodshot eyes closed once more, pouring relief into his tired muscles. No, he wasn't simply tired. He was exhausted. He didn't sleep at all last night, too afraid of the doll with its accusing stares, lying on the floor next to him. Yes, every night was the same. He would waken within his dream upon a soft bed. And beside him would be a pure white mannequin, which continuously stared at him with wide blue eyes. Sure, he would sit straight up in shock and realize that he had been sleeping upon a bed of rose petals. Yes, the doll would keep staring, blood being cried from its plastic eyes. Alex knew every night he reached out to touch the white doll and it ended in him shattering it with a touch of his finger. Gone.
He couldn't sleep here. That thing would come back to torment him soon. He had to wake up. But he was so tired... A few minutes wouldn't hurt. Then, an icy hand reached out and touched his shoulder. Alex immediately lashed out in fear.
"Holy shit! Watch it there, you psycho!" The brunet opened his eyes wide. He was greeted with the unpleasant sight of Eric standing before him.
"..Go away." The blond slumped his shoulders, and adjusted his sunglasses. Really, who wore sunglasses in the Fall? Alex lightly beat his head against his locker. Why? Why now? Why did he have to be woken up by Eric? What was with those glasses of his?
"What's your problem? You get another girl or something? You know you shouldn't cheat, or I'll be after Ariel before you can say, 'Huh'..." Did he think they were cool or something? The sun barely came out at all in this time of the year.
"I bet you did, because you got this stupid, guilty look on your face..." But they would probably be useful in hiding the eyes. Maybe he should get some.
"Maybe I should go after Ariel, seeing as she isn't yours anymore..." And then he could sleep. In class. Bliss.
"What do you want, Eric?" The active teenager paused, and then scratched his head. Then Eric crouched down to where Alex had apparently slid down to the ground in his sleepiness. Not that Alex himself really noticed anyway. The blond adjusted his balance before speaking again.
"Do you know where Tobias is?" The brunet bolted straight to his feet.
"Why? So you can call him a 'slut' again and do disgusting things to hi- How did you know his name?"
Eric shrugged. "I asked his friend a lot, until she told me. Anyway, do you know where he is?"
On the grass a few ways away from the cafeteria, is what Alex would've liked to say, Eric or not. But there it was again, that feeling that dragged his sudden perk back down. It was insane. Pictures of a boy on the ground, drenched in red. They wouldn't go away.
"..I don't know."
He may as well be in his grave now.
----------------------
"You don't look so well." Alex sighed as Ariel absently tucked parts of his hair behind his ear. Gently kissing her wrist, he set her arm back to her side and sighed once more. The blonde crossed her arms, peering up into his eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Really? I don't like seeing you like this." Alex gave a thin smile, absently stroking the girl's hair.
"I'm fine."
"Alex, you've been gone for almost three weeks, and that's okay?!" She narrowed her eyes at him, pulling away from his reach. The brunet sighed, eyebrows furrowing deeply. His head was starting to hurt badly.
"Something just came up. That's all."
"You could've told me. What was wrong with saying something?"
"It's complicated."
"COmplicated?! I thought you were dead!" Alex looked away, wincing just slightly. Ariel burned her gaze into his head, and he could feel its insensity.
"You told me you'd be there for me. And where were you?"
"Ariel..."
"I was worried." The brunet looked up the minute he heard a slight sniffle. Ariel shook her head, wiping at her eyes. Nothing but regret could hold his heart down as he watched her look away. Slowly he approached her.
"Damn you...Damn you!"
He gently embraced her there in the field where they always met, even as students were hurrying to their next class. The lunch he had bought for him and her was covered in ants now, but he couldn't care less anymore. He stroked her hair, and pressed his lips to her forehead. She just softly cried.
"Damn you...."
Everything; it was simply too much. He was causing too much pain.
----------------------
"I wonder where Michael is. He hasn't been in class for weeks."
"Yeah, I know. It's so awkward without him telling us what he did for the weekend or something."
"So quiet."
"I know."
Alex gritted his teeth as he gathered his books to go to his last class for the day. The girls who were most likely speaking of his friend were oblivious to the look he was giving them. He watched them as they went out the door, bumping into another girl who was just entering. She nervously excused herself before beginning to walk to her desk. There was something oddly familiar about her. He'd seen her before. And it seemed she had too, because when she noticed his glance she was heading toward him.
"Hi. My name is Belle."
"Hi...I'm-"
"Alex." The boy raised an eyebrow.
"How did you...?" This girl; she was always seen with Tobias. Yes, that was her. Did she come to scold him or something? Did she come to threaten him the day he finally returned? Not that he would blame her or anything. He did kill her friend, after all.
But instead she smiled.
"Wanted to make sure you weren't just somebody who looked like him. Sorry."
Alex blinked. "Oh, okay."
"Meet me after-school in the front. I need to talk to you." That was all she told him before leaving. Why did she want to talk to him?
By the time he reached sixth period, he was still wondering why. She did want to threaten him. He barely knew her. She was already close to Tobias in a month. He had hit Tobias with a car. It was all coming together in his mind. Perhaps it was better off scattered. He couldn't stop thinking about what this Belle wanted to say.
He was almost dreading it. The knot in his stomach couldn't get any tighter.
His first day back and he still couldn't recover from something that occured two weeks ago. Alex thought schoolwork would've helped to distract him, but it was failing. He looked up as his teacher passed back his last history test. It wasn't the grade that mattered to him when he was taken by surprise. It was the marker that was used.
Red.
Deep, dark red.
Alex turned his test over and leaned his head against his desk. He didn't feel good anymore. There was a sickening twist in his gut, and he wanted to go home now and lock himself up. Forever gone from the world.
----------------------
"Good, you're here."
"What'd you want to tell me?" Alex nearly murmured under his breath as he leaned against a nearby tree. His head was pounding now. Belle looked up in thought.
"Well, I would like to tell you that you're a bastard for running over Tobias. I'm sure you know who that is and that I found out because I am his friend who snoops into things and knows you pick on him a lot so you should know who he is.."
"Thanks. And yeah." And that was a little too cheerful for an insult.
"..I need you to come with me to his house." Alex looked up, headache faintly there in the back of his skull.
"Why?"
"His college money. I need it."
"Some friend you are, stealing his money."
"Yeah, I know." Alex stared at her. Was she serious? But she just looked back, oblivious.
"What? Is something wrong?" She was serious. He narrowed his eyes, feeling disgusted by this girl in front of him. He just wanted to scream at her for being so stupid and selfish, but couldn't for the slight sting he felt against his head. Really, how could someone use someone like Tobias for money? It wasn't right. He grabbed her by the shirt.
"How could you do something like that to someone you call a 'friend'? I won't help you. Get your stupid things by yourself, you selfish-"
"I knew you would say that."
"Huh?"
Belle laughed and smiled at him. "I was kidding."
Oh.
He let go of her shirt and stepped back, unsure of what to say to that knowing grin. Belle hugged her arms and looked at him straight in the eye.
"But I really do need you to come with me to his house and get his money."
He silently questioned her.
"For the hospital."
"What? Why? Tobias isn't there."
"Yes, he is." Why was she looking at him like nothing was wrong? And how could she know? She didn't feel how cold his body was on that sidewalk. She knew nothing. Belle looked up at him.
"I never said he was dead." A flicker of hope.
"He's alive?"
She just smiled that smile.
----------------------
"I've found you now. Finally." Dark blue eyes peered open at the blond's soft gaze across his unmoving body.
"You look so small in that pure, white bed. Almost invisible." He closed his eyes, even as that person speaking to him climbed on top of him. A set of fingers gently stroked his hair.
"You're hurting inside. I know it. So that you can be forever clean of all the pain in this world, I'll take it all away. Let me free you from your scars." Hands slowly closed over his throat. His eyes calmly looked back at Eric, who smiled down on him.
"You are most beautiful when you are dead."
TBC
This chapter took so long to create. I'm sorry. I'm very unmotivated because I have school now, but I will try to update faster next time! Quickly skimming for typos.
Tobias is alive, or is he?