Brown Eyes

By Ayisha

Disclaimer: The song Brown Eyes was sung by Destiny's Child

Remember the first day when I saw your face

Remember the first day when you smiled at me

You stepped to me and then you said to me

I was the woman you dream about

Seriously, I have no idea what attracted me to him at first. I mean, he wasn't really my type. In fact, he wasn't really what I had in mind for my new next-door neighbor.

For one thing, he was very old. Well, he seems old. I think he's a couple of years older than me. He's smart, conservative and he's really cute.

Okay. So I wasn't really going to admit that fact. But what can I say? He is cute. Better-looking than most guys I know of. And that's something considering-.

But that's not the point. The point is, I'm not comfortable with him around. I don't know why. It's just that there's something about him that sets me off. But I just can't tell what it is.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate him. I just feel uncomfortable around him. Maybe because I like him.

Yeah, I like him. Now, that surprised you, didn't it? But then, it's obvious anyway so it's not really surprising. Shocking, but not surprising.

I still remember the first time we met. It was when he and his family moved to the house next-door. And I was playing ball in our garden. I was 6 years old.

Suddenly, I lost the grip of the ball, and it rolled straight to where he was standing.

I went to get my ball but he picked it up for me. He gave it to me and he was smiling. That was the first time I saw him. He was 12 years old. And he was really cute even then.

That's when our friendship started. He always played with me and talked to me whenever he had the time. I was like the sister he never had. He told me all about his problems and things that he would never tell anyone else. He was very honest with me.

He was six years older than me. But the thing is, I listen to everything he says and I think that's why he tells me everything.

Once, he told me about this girl he really liked. He said she had everything he had looked for in a girl. But the girl just used him to get back at her boyfriend. He was really heartbroken.

I was 10 years old at that time. I don't know anything about love and I really don't know what to say to him. So I did the best thing I could think of. As always, I listened to him and let him pour his heart out.

And that was also the time he told me that I was the best friend he ever had.

Remember the first day when you called my house

Remember the first day when you took me out

We had butterflies although we tried to hide it

And we both had a beautiful night

When I reached my thirteenth birthday, he took me out. And when I say he took me out, I don't mean he took me out of our house and stayed in our garden. He treated me out on a "friendly date."

Okay. So he was 19 years old. Big deal. It's not like we were doing something wrong. My parents know that I'm very good friends with him. And besides, they trust him. In fact, they're friends with his family.

Well, anyways, going back to my thirteenth birthday. We really had fun. He took me to a carnival and we rode almost all of the rides there. We went to the horror booth, the house of mirrors, ate ice cream and cotton candy and played some games. As a matter of fact, he won a stuffed toy and gave it to me.

But do you know what the best part was? He didn't treat me like a child. He treated me like he would treat any girl he went out with. And that was really nice.

And do you know what he gave me as my birthday gift? He gave me a ring. He told me it was a friendship ring and that it symbolizes that our friendship will last forever.

He also wore one to prove it.

The way you talk the way we laughed

It felt so good to find true love

And I knew right then and there you were the one

Then I was 16 years old. It was my JS Prom. And as luck would have it, my date cancelled at the very last minute.

I took that as a sign that perhaps, it wouldn't be the greatest night of my life.

Boy, was I wrong. Guess who went with me to the Prom? Yep, you got it. He happened to be at our house that night and offered to take me to my Prom. Can you actually believe it?

We went to the Prom and even before we entered the gym, I could see every girl there eyeing him. Who wouldn't? He looked really good in a tux. And besides, he was the most gorgeous guy there. And I'm not being biased. It's a fact.

He asked me to dance. I never realized till then how good a dancer he was. He had the right moves and he was really a gentleman.

To tell you the truth, I couldn't have asked for a better date than the one I got. He was the eye of every girl's attention that it was no wonder that they voted him as the Prom King. Even though he was 22 years old and he was really old enough for that title.

And it was really a wonderful night because I was hailed as the Prom Queen! It was really a shock but I eventually got over it.

We were the Prom King and Queen and we got to share a dance at the middle of the floor with everyone watching us.

And you know what made it all the more special? My Prom was held on February 14. Valentine's Day.

I know that he loves me coz he told me so

I know that he loves me coz his feeling show

When he stares at me you'll see he cares for me

You'll see how he is so deep in love

I know that he loves me coz it's obvious

I know that he loves me coz it's me he trusts

And he's missing me if he's not seeing me

And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

Right after that, I met his girlfriend. Yeah, you got that right. His girlfriend. He'd told me a lot about her. And apparently, he was hooked.

She was perfect for him, I have to admit that. Seeing them- well, let's just say, it wasn't one of my fondest memories but it was memorable. Let's just say in a way I was crushed.

I guess I just never really saw that he was way older than me. I kinda always thought that he would always be the same guy I grew up with. That he would never change and he'd stay single forever. But then, I, of all people, should've known better.

Guys like him either end up gay or a priest if they don't have a girlfriend at that age. I mean, duh! Even I know that.

Okay, so I was jealous. Who wouldn't be? Your best friend just found the girl of his dreams so where will that leave you? Of course you would be left out because he would spend every waking moment with her.

But he assured me that won't happen. He knew me so well to know what I was thinking. He told me he loves me as a sister and he really cared for me. I was the only person whom he could actually trust with, well, everything.

Deep in my heart, I know that I'm special to him. We were the best of friends for more than half of our lives. That should tell me something. But something tells me otherwise.

Because if I'm really going to be honest with myself, I was starting to have feelings for him. Feelings that can ruin our friendship. It was a feeling that I know nothing good will come out of.

I was starting to fall for my best friend. And he had a girlfriend.

Now who says that can only happen in movies?

Remember the first time we had an argument

We apologized and then we compromised

And we haven't argued since

As soon as I found out about my feelings, I avoided him whenever I could. It wasn't really that hard since I was already a freshman in college and frankly, I was busy with my studies.

And he also had a job so it wasn't like we see much of each other. But he wasn't an idiot. He knew when he was being avoided.

It didn't take him long to figure out that I was keeping my distance. And when that happened, he wanted some answers. Answers that I wasn't willing to give.

That started our argument. All right, I wouldn't call it that. I'd call it a fight. Our very first argument. (What? Fight is such a strong word. I have to think of a more civilized term.)

He told me if I didn't want to be friends with him anymore, I could've just said so. So that he didn't have to look like a fool when I don't answer his calls or when I make up lame excuses not to see him.

Okay, he had a point. But I had my pride. And you know that almost anything that has pride in it is not good. And in this case, it wasn't.

I yelled at him and told him that I really don't care about what he says or thinks or even feel, because he wasn't a part of my life anymore. I have my own life and he had his own. I told him that I don't need him in my life anymore.

After I said that, I regretted it. Because I know that every word I said is quite the opposite of what I feel. I care about him more than I would ever care to admit in front of everyone, even to myself and I want him to be a part of my life.

We didn't talk for four months after that. That four months was the worst. I was hurt and suffering and I didn't have anyone to comfort me. I lost my best friend because of my pride.

And to make matters worse, I was having problems with my schoolwork. My scholarship was taken away and I didn't have any job. In the way things were going, I only had one semester of college left and then I had to drop out.

But just when I thought that everything was going downhill, he came to my rescue yet again. He offered me a job as his assistant at the company he was working at. He heard about my money troubles and he had wanted to help me.

That's the time when I apologized to him for all the things I had said and done. He had forgiven me and he wanted us to be friends again.

I couldn't have fallen more in love with him that I already was when he said that. And in some ways, it just made things a lot more worse than they already are. But at least, I got my best friend back. And I don't intend to ruin our friendship again just because of my feelings for him.

Remember the first day we stopped playing games

Remember the first day you fell in love with me

It felt so good for you to say those words coz I felt the same way too

The way you talk the way we laughed

It felt so good to find true love

And I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me coz he told me so

I know that he loves me coz his feeling show

When he stares at me you'll see he cares for me

You'll see how he is so deep in love

I know that he loves me coz it's obvious

I know that he loves me coz it's me he trusts

And he's missing me if he's not kissing me

And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

He broke up with his girlfriend after a year. I really don't know why. I mean, he never really told me the reason. I just assumed that they had grown apart over the past few months since the break-up was amicable. And besides, they were still friends.

After the break-up, I ran into his girlfriend while doing an errand for him. She told me that he never really loved her. At first, maybe he did but she couldn't help feeling that there was someone else in his life. She never made him happy and whenever they were together, he was always so distant.

I knew she still loved him. It shows in her eyes. I just hope that he loved her the way she loved him.

After that conversation, I realized that he was in love with someone else. I really don't know who she was since he never mentioned anything to me and I respect that.

But I couldn't help wishing it was me. I know there is no chance of that ever happening. There's the age difference and the fact that we've been friends for so long.

Besides, friends can't be lovers. It's just something that would lead to heartbreak. And I wasn't going to let that happen.

For four years that I studied in college, I pined for him secretly. Maybe once or twice, I've thought about telling him how I feel so that it wouldn't fester inside of me. It was eating me up inside to know that I have this feeling and that I can't tell him because I was too afraid of the consequences. What if he didn't feel the way I do? It would just ruin our friendship and I don't want that to happen.

The night before my graduation in college, he took me out to celebrate. He had thought of everything. It was the most romantic night of my life. Aside from my Prom, at least.

He was so sweet. He took me out into this fancy restaurant and we also danced. He even dedicated a song for me. It was really bittersweet.

And before he took me home that night, he held my hand and looked me straight in the eye. Right then and there, in that restaurant, he told me he love me. That I was the reason he hadn't found the girl of his dreams yet. I was everything he was looking for and it took him four years to figure it out.

He was so sincere that I knew he was telling the truth. I could've cried from happiness right at that moment.

I'm so happy, so happy that you're in my life

And baby, now that you're a part of me

Show me, show me the true meaning of love

(The true meaning of love and I know that he loves me)

I know that he loves me coz he told me so

I know that he loves me coz his feeling show

When he stares at me you'll see he cares for me

You'll see how he is so deep in love

I know that he loves me coz it's obvious

I know that he loves me coz it's me he trusts

And he's missing me if he's not kissing me

And when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul

Just when I thought it was going to be the happiest night of my life, he then told me he was going away.

You heard that right. The company he was working at offered him a job at one of their offices in Florida. It was a great offer and he couldn't refuse.

I asked him when he was going away. He told me he was going after my graduation ceremony. He had meant to tell me earlier but I was too busy and he wanted to make his last night with me special.

So I guess that was the reason he told me he loves me. Because he was going away.

But he shook his head when I mentioned it. He took my hand and said that he had waited for the right time to tell me about his feelings. He had been too scared about my reaction and he really didn't have the guts to tell me till now. What did he have to lose? He was leaving anyway and it wasn't like he was coming back anytime soon.

I believed him and since it was his last night with me, I told him what I felt about him. But before you jump into conclusions, I also told him that maybe we'd be better off as friends for the moment.

It wasn't that I don't love him that much. Believe me, I do. And you know that. It's just that there were a lot of things to consider and frankly, I don't think a long-distance relationship will work.

And besides, if it's really meant for us to be together, it's going to happen.

The day before my graduation is one of the happiest and saddest days of my life. I graduated from college and that was a great achievement. But the love of my life was going away and there might be a chance I won't see him again.

After the graduation ceremony, it was hard not to cry while I went with him to the airport. I wanted to say goodbye and I wanted to see him for the last time.

He held my hand and promised me that he'll keep in touch with me and that he'll visit me whenever he could. I just nodded my head and told him I'd do the same.

I then gave him my go-away present. It was a watch. It was my grandfather's and he gave it to me before he died. It was important to me and he was touched that I would give it to him. He promised that he would take good care of it.

He also gave me a necklace. It was a family heirloom and he said he wanted me to have it. He wanted me to remember him by even when he was far away. When he put it on my neck, I cried. I never knew how much I really loved him until that moment.

Then it was time to go. He hugged me and told me he loved me and then he was gone. Just like that.

All the way home, I held the necklace he gave me with care. I know that I could never love someone the way I loved him. And I was glad to know that he also loved me.

Maybe someday when the right time comes, we would be together. If we were really meant for each other, I know that love will find a way.

He looks at me and his brown eyes tells his soul…

I had found my soulmate and I'll wait for him until the day he comes back to me.