oh my god who is that girl?! SHE's god damn beautiful! Ugh... i wish i was her.

Now you know how i feel, doing this every time i see her. And actually, she's my cousin. All I'm saying is that she's beautiful, and i'm a very jealous person. I cant help but saying to Elena, YOU'RE soo amazing! look AT YOU! THE HAIR, THE EYES THE ROCK STAR SMILE!

not saying much. I've been doing this 24/7 i got used to it. And every one of my friends wonder why i've got low self esteem. I can't really help it, elena's got everything i don't.

When i was only five Elena took ballet. I asked my mom to sign me up. When we were doing it there was a practice session and a huge mirror in front of us. I quit because i looked bad in a leotard and was really fat. (EVEN THEN I WAS AWARE OF THAT!)

In fourth grade, we had the same teacher at Jefferson elementary. She took flute, and so did I! ... I gave up cuz she's too good. I cried more than once. Elena has everything.

THE NAME. What's in a name? Everything. Better than the universal Anna! Thank god we moved here... or else i wouldn't stop thinking about anything else but how stupid ugly and fat i am. I STILL DO, but since Elena's farther, that stopped.

THE PERSONALITY: Everything she does, every word she throws out, i wish i had said it. Sounds right, more right than any word i could say. Every reaction she makes sounds more reasonable than mine anyway. Every breath she takes, or cough. Sounds way cuter than mine does. Her laugh is mellow like wind. GOD. If i sound obsessed, I'm sorry. But she's my ideal person.

She's got everything. A boyfriend. The best friends anyone could ever have. Her own phone line. She gets along with her parents. She's skinny, beautiful, has the personality of a flower. God, no other way to put it. I gotta listen "THE MIDDLE" by JIMMY EAT WORLD some more, will boost my self esteem.

But literally, I'm pouring my heart out right in this diary for all to see. Elena's existence keeps me alive cuz she's such a friend. It's sad we took our lives apart. She kind of leads me. Literally, she leads me cuz she's got good sense of direction AND emotionally, she can help you think things out.

My dad told me it'll separate even more. But i still remember when we used to say our names that go together with our crush's last names. We'll get married, we'd say. How does Anna Milechman sound? OK? Cool. That's who i'll marry.

IT sounds so cute, but it was all so real back then. That's my review on ELENA. My mortal Goddess.