Her eyes opened, anger overwhelmed her. The buzzing of the alarm clock went off repeatedly.

"Damn thing, shut up!"

She rolled over away from the irritating noise, the darkness welcoming her from the other side of the room. She lay there awake for a moment, the alarm gradually growing louder. Finally, she got up and slammed the alarm clock off, cursing under her breath, she searched around for the light switch in the darkness. Finding it quickly, seiring light blinded her for a moment.

4:30. To damn early.

She pulled on her clothes, her small room was chilly, making her shiver slightly. Slowly, she opened her door and peered down the dark hall way.

She isn't home yet. Thank god.

Walking into the bathroom, she glanced into the mirror instantly hating everything she saw. A long blonde haired girl with green eyes in which withheld lifelessness stared back at her. Flashes of violent images came to her mind instantly. She saw the girl smile with bitterness and sorrow as she suddenly realized painfully that she had nothing to awake to each morning.

Moments later she found herself in her mother's room, walking toward the closet. She new the .357 Magnum lay inside that closet. She yearned for it. It drew her to it.

Fumbling around, her thin fingers wrapped around the holster that beheld the heavy metal of death. Slowly unsheathing it, millions of thoughts rushed into her mind. She set her doubts aside and brought the cold metal to her head. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, her hands began to tremble.

She squeezed the trigger….


The safety was on.

She opened her eyes and dropped the heavy gun from her trembling hands. She inhaled, and bit her lip in fusteration.

Bang! The door slammed from downstairs making Vivian jump. Her mother's harsh words rang out into the still house,


Her mother was home from work at the hospital. Her mood would be horrible until she went to bed.

Vivian snatched the gun from the ground and slammed it onto the shelf under her mother's clothes were she had found it. Her mother yelled once again,

"Get up you lazy girl!"

Vivian heard her start up the stairs and bolted down the dark hall and into the bathroom.

"I'm awake!"

Her heart raced as she grabbed her toothbrush. Having no faith in her daughter, the older woman walked down the hall and peeked into the bathroom where Vivian was brushing her teeth.

"Oh. Good. Don't want you to miss that damn bus again."

Her mother walked off to her room, leaving Vivian to her thoughts. She finished in the bathroom and made her way downstairs to make her lunch. Grabbing her coat and her heavy book bag, Vivian stepped outside into the frigid world. She slowly mad her way down her long driveway, shadows lay upon the ground, the moon started to fall past the horizon whereupon the sky turned into a dark pink. She stood their shivering and waited for the bus, her thoughts upon death. Darkness swirled around her, the only light casting from the bright lights of the subdivision up the road. The sun slowly arose and soon she was making her way to school.

Induring an hour and a half bus ride, Vivian stepped off the bus, suddenly a large figure ran up to her.


She recognized the voice at once and turned toward the figure who was her best friend, Derek. His handsome face twisted into a smile as her eyes met his. Her ears still buzzed from listening to her walkman on the way to school.

"Hey, Derek," she mumbled and walked toward the front doors of the school building. Derek jumped beside her and launched into a monologue about his soccer tournament that had taken place yesterday. She nodded silently, her mind wandering off to different worlds as he talked. They made their way to her locker and Derek finally seemed to run out of things to say.

"So...Viv, whats new with you?"

Vivian continued withdrawing her heavy text books from the tiny locker without looking up she answered boredly,

"Oh, you know, same old stuff, I guess..."

He rolled his eyes with drama, "You always say that. Whats up with you and Aaron lately?"

His name seemed to plague her everywhere...

"I told you, I don't like him. I'm not interested."

Derek seemed to have a stubborn streak in him lately. "Why not? I think the guy really loves you. He talks about you constantly."

"I don't really care." She sighed and closed her locker with fusteration nagging at her heart.

"Why not?" Derek still persisted.

Vivian gave him an evil and irritated look. "Derek."

He seemed to take the hint.

"Ok ok, I just wondered why you don't at least give him a chance. I haven't seen you with a guy in a long time." He grinned mischeviously, "Are you a lesbian, Viv?"

Vivian chuckled lightly, "No Derek. Sorry to dissappoint you but I'm just not intrested in anyone right now." Dispite the joyful joke, Vivian's fusteration did not give way. "And anyway, I never see you with anyone Derek."

Her tone mocked him, and Derek's happy face twisted with dishearted anger and he tugged at his large blue sweater.

"I'm working on it."
She chuckled with her own sorrowful tone, "Oh, thats bull. You were supposed to ask Sarah out weeks ago."

His face looked hurt as his light blue eyes stared at her in shock.
"You'll get her one day." Vivian said.


"Yeah." He managed to choke out.

She shrugged slightly and patted his shoulder, "The bells about to ring, you better get to class."

He nodded and waved solmnely goodbye as he walked off, Vivian could tell in his face that she'd said the wrong thing. He had liked Sarah for ages.

Oh well...