I'll admit something, like all you 'ex' Christians, I'll probably fall away from God sometime, but I will go back for sure (and I have wandered before). But for now, I just want to be as fruitful in sharing this as I can. Let me tell you more about my life and myself.

I go to a high school and I face everyday conflicts that some that aren't Christians don't realize. I constantly fight the urge to lie and rumor. I know this isn't right, but like I said, I'm not perfect.

People who don't know me think I'm probably the most blessed girl in the world. I'll admit something, I'm not a bad looking girl, guys say I'm pretty (one even called me beautiful), smart and nice. But they have no idea of how hard it is for me to not feel pride, or resist temptation by disobeying my parents by dating guys (I can't date till I'm in university).

People who are presently in Wiccan and were once Christians say that they felt empty until they discovered nature and the practice of Witchcraft. Nature is a revelation that God created, so being around nature doesn't fill that void when you were Christian. And that emptiness? I feel that too, but I know what it is. It is my (and the devil's) urge to go and screw up my life. So quite frankly, sin. But it is not an emptiness that needs to fill, they are temptations. Don't worship what was created, worship the creator.

When Jesus comes again, I pray that those who had 'fallen' out of faith will be blameless in His sight. Or they will be left in eternal death. I am not writing to study God, because He is impossible to study and understand. Think about, He's a God, duh. I just want to know Him and help others to do the same.

Okay, you're probably sick of my babbling, so here's another story.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Daddy! Daddy!" Stephen yelled in joy as he greeted his father. He was a burly middle-aged man; he worked long shifts in the morning and afternoon at a train stop and had just come home.

He bent down and picked up his 6-year old son. "Happy early Birthday, big guy!" He greeted, grinning. The two had prepared to go to where he worked and would spend sometime together for the little boy's Birthday. Both couldn't wait.

The next day was beaming with sunshine and perfect. Stephan and his dad walked the 40 minute trip to his dad's stop. His dad was in charge of the bridge train track. He was the controller, made sure that when a train would come, that he would lower the bridge so that the train wouldn't just fall into the deep ravine below and instead go on its way on the tracks on the other side of the ravine.

Stephen's father took out a moving bag and presented it to the squirming boy. "Happy Birthday, son!"

Stephan squealed with joy as a puppy jumped out and licked his face. His dad chuckled and ruffled his son's hair. Stephan looked at his dad, his role model, "I love you, daddy."

Dad smiled and gave him a quick squeeze before going back to his post. He laughed as he watched his only son play on the train tracks with his puppy.

Then something went wrong.

The little yellow dog began to bark. Dad turned to the window and saw Stephan struggling to get out of the tracks. He had gotten his leg caught under its metal jaws. Tears streamed down the little boy's face.

Dad ran out to try to free him, but it was impossible. Stephan began to cry harder and clung onto his daddy's tear stained shirt. All of the sudden, as if the situation couldn't get any worse, it did.

Dad ran to the control panel. A train on the other side of the ravine was fast approaching and he had to lower the bridge. But if he did, and the train came across, it would crush his little boy. But if he didn't, all the people in the passenger train would die.

He looked at his son with tearful eyes. "I love you, Stephan!" He yelled over the roar of the coming train.

He looked at the train and clenched his fists on the control stick. One denied pull and it would be all over for the hundreds of people in the train. But if he did pull it, his little boy would be crushed under the train. He had to choose. Time was running out.

And he did it; he yanked down the stick with all his might. Behind the pull was full of compassion, anger, and sadness. He then collapsed and cried. He covered his eyes; he couldn't watch what would happen next. To his dismay, before the roar of the passenger train drowned Stephen's young voice, he could hear his son, his only son cry out for daddy. He sobbed as the train passed by.

The train stopped a few yards later and the conductor and all the passengers ran out of the train and embraced the crying man. The conductor had tears in his eyes.

"Thank you." The conductor said, his tears choking him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"For God loved the world so much, He gave his only Son, so that who may ever believe in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life."

John 3:16