Is not what you have required? You searched much deeper within, through the weeping appear. You're looking into my heart.

Many times I've wondered myself how its lasted this long. I usually always come to the conclusion that my love for you isn't normal.

Its something so special I can't let it go. I know its time to. I know, I really do. I've tried. It hurt so just made you feel like you were dying. I hate to run back to you, after all you've been through. When your Dad died, you somewhat died. And I lost that part of you. I don't know what to do anymore. I love you and you love me, but we have to wait for this to pass. December...I remember it so well.

I knew something was wrong immediately. You stopped emailing me. I didn't think of checking the newspapers though I knew he was sick...I just, didn't. When I got that email...I can't express to you how weakened I felt. I stared at the words on the screen.

one second.



one minute.

two minutes.

Then I felt the warm tears on my cheek. I never cry. You made me cry. Because I love you. I do so much. I got up and walked to my room. I called Rebecca. By then I was bawling. Your best friend/boyfriend's Dad's don't just die. I felt horrible. Months ago when I heard he had cancer I knew he was going to die. I don't know how but I knew. I never told anyone, ashamed of my thoughts. I pray for you every night.

I think I know why you and I are so close. We are very opposite, but attracted. I'm strong, but you are wise too. Together our love is unbreakable. I'm waiting for you to be ready for us again...but I don't care how long I have to wait. I will wait my life for you.

You've taught me many things. Mainly to be careful what you wish for, things aren't what they appear, and yes, people can be trusted. I love you so much. Know that.

New years helped me discover that this was going to be the hardest thing for you. For me. It changed my outlook on things. It once again reminded me that death has its own beauty...hidden and waiting for the moment to strike, not like cancer that spreads with a rasp that could kill a man in a heartbeat. I wished I could hold you. The thought of you in pain. Ate at my heart during all hours.

I figured the best way for you to deal, and myself, was for me to back off. Cut off any ties with you. I dont know why I thought this.

I know I can't live without you. I feel like I've found my soul mate at age thirteen. Is that possible? God, I hope.

I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself.

If I never speak to you again, I just want you to know that I've always admired your strength, patience...everything. In my eyes, you are perfect. And together, I think the puzzle is complete.

Its all about you...

For David.