Portrait of a Senior

By Gillian Fournier

I am sitting alone on the beach though I don't feel alone. Ok well I guess technically I was alone but I could feel two people sitting right beside me. One was my best friend who had moved away and taken her share of my heart with her and the other, well.I'd rather not tell you that.not now at least. My friend was whispering in my ear like old times when we were little girls pretending to be all grown up. Now we are grown but our plans of always being together and going to the same college have been lost in the shuffle. A tear slides down my cheek and I swipe at it, she is so far away now that I can't feel her spirit anymore. Although I know I have wiped my own cheek I feel his fingers caress my cheek and wipe it away and as I feel that I give way to sobbing as his imaginary arms wrap themselves around me. They left me here where we used to sit together and watch the sunset. Emily until eighth grade and well he stayed until eleventh. Now I am all alone except for one who doesn't fully understand me. I am a senior now.I'm supposed to be at the peak of my existence. I feel more like I've reached the edge of a cliff and am teetering on the end ready to fall at any minute. Though I miss her I miss him more. I miss his arms that used to hold me and the things he used to whisper in my ears. I hate parents; they took her away because her dad just had to be a salesman and they took him away because of his stepfather's career. I feel self-centered thinking about wanting to keep them, but my deepest wish is to see them again, capture them and hold them close to my heart forever. My parents want me to go to a nearby college but I have a strong desire to run away to Florida. I wonder if he'll go to a Florida school that's where they took him. Or maybe I should go to a North Carolina School. Then I could be roommates with Emily. I love my dream of being a fashion designer but I miss them so much. I have been without a best friend for four years and without him for only one. I feel that I have died inside. The last time I talked to her it made it worse. The last time I talked to him I cried so much that my parents kept me home from school thinking that I was sick and in horrible pain. I watch the seagulls flying overhead; they are so carefree. I wish I could be like them. They have problems I suppose, but who ever heard of a seagull that lost its friends and its love and now feels lost itself? I watch the sea rolling in and out, the foam on the waves. Perhaps the sea is endless; I wish my love for him was endless but sadly it mirrors the sea. I miss her and I miss him, I feel them in my heart as my tears fall on the sand and make their way towards the ocean. Even if I never see them again I am secure in the knowledge that I love them and I imagine that they love me. As I watch the sun finally sink below the horizon I hear their names whistling in the winds across the beach.****** and *****. They are always with me. They tell me everything will be all right, and I believe them.