A Lamp's Eulogy

By the grieving Childe of Kaos

You sat there on the coffee table,

Like a queen among the furniture.

When your light began to flicker,

We replaced it with one of those fluorescent bulbs.

They last longer, you know.

People thought I was crazy; they even tried to put me away,

But I didn't care.

You were my lamp, and I was your human.

We were happy.

I remember the day of your accident like it was yesterday -- wait, it was yesterday.

We were listening to the radio, and we began to dance.

I didn't mean to drop you, I swear!

I can still hear the tiny scream as you fell onto the cold linoleum.

"No!" I screamed.

I hurried and got Dr. CrazyGlue, and we tried to save you.

We went through five hours of surgery, but it was too late.

Now, you'll be going to the Big Coffee Table in the Sky, where every lampshade fits just right and your bulb never goes out.

I'll never forget you, my little lamp.

You will be missed.