Zane numbly continued to walk and soon came to his class. Gwen had this particular class with him but he sat a good distance away from her. There wasn't a seating chart as the class was held in a amphitheater but Zane usually kept to himself in this class and in most of his classes. This and he tried to make eye contact with her as he came in; she sat toward the doors a few rows back with her friends. But he always turned away because he was almost always met with either her ignoring him or one of the guys she sat with giving him a dirty look. Though every once in a while it was a different guy most of the time it was by a guy named Byron.

He gave Zane the creeps. It wasn't that he was big and burly or anything but rather a little bit smaller than Zane who himself was only an average height and no more than 165. Byron was a lot thinner than Zane for one thing, he looked as if he hadn't had much exercise in his life but Zane had lifted weights in high school quite a bit and it didn't seem to him that Byron could do a whole lot of damage so Zane was by no means afraid of him. It was the fact that he was sort of a Goth and wore a lot of anarchy stuff and spikes and piercing and died hair and such. None of which bothered Zane by them selves but it was the combination of all of them in excess on this guy that scared him.

Today was no different than most; he walked in and looked for Gwen finding her and being met today with both ignorance and Byron's cold stare. Zane ignored it and went to his spot on the other side of the room. It was still a few minuets to the bell and the class was gradually filling up. Though it was a required credit class and there were quite a few students, Zane didn't sit by anyone. Weather he avoided sitting by people or they stayed away from him he could never tell. Zane found that the simplest of things were the hardest to understand. Why was it that every day he couldn't bring himself to do something as simple as talk to someone new or even talk to the people he had spoken to before once or twice who didn't seem to dislike him at least.

Zane sighed and slumped back in his chair. He felt tired again even though he had been awake for a while. He then realized that he still had his big hood on. He felt embarrassed and debated for a second weather or not to take it off as if he did it would sort of be an admission of his forgetfulness and that it wasn't intentional. But then again who would care he thought. He doubted very much that anyone was looking at or even thinking about him so he flipped it over his back.

Again he sighed and decided to take out some paper and something to write with. He felt a little discouraged as he couldn't find any paper in his bag. He took out his pen anyway and as he held it in his hand it for some reason felt heavy. Probably because he was so tired. Zane for some reason thought of other things that might feel heavy in his hand. Other small things; brass knuckles, a knife or a gun came to his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut trying to shake off the thoughts. They were violent thoughts to him and he would think to everyone but he had a hard time with them not so much by what they were but what they symbolized and the frequency of apparition in his mind. Thoughts like these came to him seemingly often he thought.

He had often wondered throughout his life why so much of his contemplation was rooted around violence. He didn't think that for the most part he was all that much of a violent person. He wasn't the best fighter in the world rather significantly less so. But he thought that you didn't have to be a good fighter in order to be violent. Anyone can be, he thought. Anyone is capable of harming. It just seemed to him that you would have to make the decision to do so first and it wasn't something he wanted to do. It was a long time before that he had made the decision not to harm. Not anything or anyone in any way as best he could. For Zane middle school and high school weren't the easiest years and he had seen and felt first hand what violence did and does and since then he wanted no part of it.

Class went by and Zane learned next to nothing and passively wrote down the homework assignment at the end. It seemed to him that it went by rather quickly as compared to some days when it would drag on forever, this is most likely because, as he thought, he dozed off a few times. Not being able to sleep at night and going through hell to stay awake in the day was how Zane felt he spent most of his time. And even as he walked out of class with Gwen now nowhere in sight he thought that maybe he fell asleep in the crowded mass of people attempting to escape through the small doors of the room. As he did he looked about not really trying to look at anything but not having anything else to do with his eyes.

He thumped down one foot after the other adnozium paying little attention. Sure enough as his clueless ass has trouble pronouncing antidisestablishmentarianism, he ran right into the person in front of him. Of course because he was paying attention to absolutely nothing, he dropped his binder, which he hadn't put in his bag for no apparent reason except that he needed it for his next class. As he leaned down to pick it up his head promptly collided with someone else's. He put his hand on the aching spot above his eye swinging up like a spring trap. 'Pain always hurts more when you have a hangover.' he though. 'I don't know what my excuse is.'

Zane jolted with a cretin amount of surprise when he felt two hands on his over his eye and the slightly nasal voice of a girl: "Oh my god! I'm sorry! Are you all right?"

"HUH?" Zane heard himself grunt stupidly. 'Did she just ask me if I'm all right?' He thought as he was more used to people in this situation to maybe tell him to watch where he was going or maybe get a nice 'Fuck You!' but this time he didn't. Instead someone decided to take interest in his well being which confused him at first. He took his hand away from his eye and saw that the girl was a little Asian chick and she was still holing onto his hand. After a second she bent down and picked up his binder and handed it to him but before he could say thank you, or whatever came out of his mouth, he wasn't quite sure the first thing would be a fitting thank you, rather a rude 'who are you' or just a stupid blank stare, after that he felt something he was more accustomed to: a shove in the back and a "move it!" He looked over his shoulder and gave the guy a dirty look. Unfortunately when he turned his head back the girl had already skipped off into the crowd and he couldn't see her anymore. As he continued to walk he couldn't help but feel stupid and disappointed for one reason or another.

He headed to his next class and it went by and again he questioned how much he learned. He didn't feel exactly like a sponge for knowledge as he did when he was young but he felt secure in the fact that he at least knew more than the average idiot just in general. With his second class out he was left to wonder aimlessly once again around campus or where ever his feet took him. This wasn't far however as he walked into a Starbucks just adjacent to the campus on the south end near his apartment. He ordered some coffee and spent what little cash he had and slumped into a chair in the corner were it was darker.

He looked across the room and it was cloudy outside making the atmosphere dim and crappy in Zane's mind. But he felt that it was sort of cozy too but he thought to himself that places are only cozy if you're with someone. He leaned on his hand with his eyes closed and the other hand wrapped around his warm drink. In all oddity the warmth of the cup seemed to be the only thing going for him that morning, though that didn't surprise him, as it was just his norm, another average day.