The motley gang gathered around the wooden dinner table ready to commence their first serious meeting. Well, sort of serious. Albert lay curled in the corner feigning a concussion, Eric attempted to prop up his sadly lumped and bruised head in his hands, and Carelyn's brats rolled around on the floor playing "Haggle for the Donkey" – a tricky mind game where one player was the customer and the other, the merchant. A battle of wisdom and wits ensued and whoever got the best deal for the donkey was deemed the winner. No doubt this was a game invented by their late genius of a father, Brett.
"So what are we gonna do?" Kazi asked, glancing at her friends who were currently betting on the outcome of Haggle for the Donkey.
"Johnny's definitely got the upper hand in this one." Tissa stated matter-of-factly.
"But William's a shrew boy. I can tell. Just look at that shrewy face." Ange remarked, nodding and stroking her non-existent beard sagely.
Greg rubbed his head confusedly "Pardon me milady, did you mean to say 'shrewd'?".
Kazi rolled her eyes and coughed loudly earning three rather sheepish grins and an "Ow!" from Eric who had accidentally bashed his bump into the table.
"We seem to be in quite a predicament here. Stuck in an unfamiliar land, harassed by terrifying vampires, burdened with two wounded men and two kids, not to mention the fact that we are quite far from uh…home." Kazi finished, shooting Tissa and Angie a meaningful glance, desperately hoping they would get the hint that Greg was not aware that the girls and 'Master Eric' were from another world.
"You mean home as in 21st century New Jersey, right?" Ange chirped.
Lauren scowled. No such luck. They were hopeless. Surprising how two 'gifted and talented' students could be as thick as bricks.
"Oh, don't worry, Tissa knocked him out." Ange explained, pointing at the slumped figure of Greg. "She got mad at him 'cos he won the bet about William winning the donkey game."
"Well, at least we can discuss things openly now." Kaz muttered. She paced around the room, brows furrowed. "Perhaps we can figure out some sort of spell to get us back home. I mean, that weird portal thingy was definitely not natural."
"Why don't we go look in a library? They always have spell books lying around in the library. I'm sure we could find something useful there…like Giles and Willow from Buf—"
"Yes, good idea!" Kazi said hurriedly, before Ange could start on another one of her Buffy the Vampire Slayer rants. Apparently, Carey had gained another convert during their trip.
"We'll ask Albert to take us there tomorrow, magick us a portal, and we'll prolly be home in no time!" Kaz said with a grin, satisfied that they had come up with a good plan.
"But you can't just leave us here to fend for ourselves, to run around like headless chickens, waiting for the vampires to come pick us off one by one and send us into a horrible bloodless death. We would be poor, defenseless, helpless prey!" Albert burst out indignantly. Four pairs of eyes turned on him and he hastily shut up, remembering that he was currently unconscious.
Eric sighed. "I suppose he does have a point. I mean, it would be awfully cowardly of us if we just left them here to die. And who knows what will happen to us if our otherworldly counterparts get killed."
They group fell into an uneasy silence, which was suddenly shattered by a scornful, unnerving snicker.
"Would you care to find out?" Greg rose from his chair, a slightly maniacal glint in his eyes.
"Hey! You're also sposed to be unconscious."
He snarled and immediately the metamorphosis began. His normally charming human visage shifted into that of a horrifying beast, sprouting deep ridges in his forehead, razor sharp incisors and fearsome yellow eyes. He grinned, running his tongue over his fangs, and before anyone could react, snatched poor 'unconscious' Albert by the throat.
"So you guys are the disturbance the Queen sensed. Otherworldly visitors, eh? Too bad you'll be dead before you can fulfill the prophecy." He bent his head down towards Albert's neck and –
There was a resounding crack as the Jer bag connected with Greg's skull. The vampire stumbled backwards, dropping Albert in an ungainly heap on the floor. He glared at the little black haired girl standing before him who was angrily brandishing the mighty bludgeon.
"Leave my husband alone!" Tissa shouted.
Greg got to his feet, laughing. "Touching, how you humans always go for the foolish heroics."
His fist shot out and sent the tiny girl flying.
Angie watched in horror as her friend crashed into a bookcase, effectively dismantling it. Gotta do something. I can't just sit here! And where are those darn stakes when you need em? She surveyed the room for a makeshift stake. Chairs…tables, flowerpot, plates…SHOE. Ange eyed the sharp wooden heels of Greg's platform shoes and light bulbs began flashing in her brain. Slowly, she made her way towards the door, glancing back to see that Greg was still occupied with Tissa. He hadn't noticed her yet. Probably because she was so small. One point for the foot-shorters, she mentally cheered.
She grabbed the heel and spun around. With a deep breath, Ange concentrated on her target, knowing that this was it. If she missed, this would be the end. She opened her eyes and flung the shoe with all her might.
It seemed as if time itself had slowed as the spinning shoe hurled inevitably towards the vampire. With a dull thud, the wooden heel embedded itself into Greg's chest. A look of horror mingled with surprise flooded across the vampire's features as he looked up at his assailant.
"Didn't even know you could reach that high up."
With that and a satisfying little pop, he exploded in a cloud of dust.
"That wasn't very nice." Ange complained with a pout. She looked around at her un-Bufferized friends and realized that they had most likely never seen a vampire dusted. They stared at her blankly, jaws agape.
Finally Kazi blinked and remarked, "I'll go get a broom."
Once more, the group, short one tall member who was currently a pile of dust, gathered at the table, ready to commence their second meeting.
"Well. In light of new events, I think it would be wise to leave as soon as possible. Albert and the boys can come with us. And any other humans who would prefer to live in a vampire-free world."
Kazi glanced around the room, noting the nods of approval from her friends when her eyes fell upon Carelyn's boys sleeping soundly on the floor.
Something wasn't right.
"OH SHIT! We forgot about Carey!"