The War Diaries
Author: Jillybean
Disclaimer: A lot of this material may be offensive to some readers. Some people may wish it to be removed from the site. If you are one of these people, I'm glad that you want to curtail freedom of speech. It proves to me that I am correct.
All characters are fictional, any resemblance to characters real or other wise is purely intentional.
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The War Diaries
~Or The Diaries of Henry Cue Tree and his faithful doggy Thatcher2 ~
Day 1
Oooh!!!! Have got new diary!! Will write in it every day!
Day 2
Am V. nervous and scared, is election day. Wonder if I will win.
Day 3
Have found this marvellous new holiday resort called Camp David!! Am told I can only go there if am president. Am v. pissed off because does not look like will be president.
Later
Oooh!!! Am getting recount. Me love my family!!!
Day 4
There's this really cute doggy that lives in Britain, wanted to take it home and love it forever and ever and ever, but was told by stuffy man that Thatcher2 had to stay in Britain. Not like stuffy man at all!!!
Day . . . ooh, lost count
Am president!!!! Oooh!!! Mummy said that that was why I should have been nice to my cousin, don't see why. But there we go. Can now go to Camp David!! Yay!!
Later
Oooh!! There's a spaceship in Roswell!!!! Hmm, wonder if Thatcher2 can be convinced to come for a ride. I imagine he's the kind of puppy who likes to hang his head out of the window.
Later still
My office is the funkiest!! Take that you other people with not so funky offices.
On another note, slightly slipped up while swearing on bible. Don't think anyone noticed. Lingered too long on 'not'.
Another Day
Me like my new puppy loads!!!! He's so sweet! You throw biscuits and he goes and gets a stuffy British man to pick them up!!! He has little puppies too, I don't like them as much
Later
Am changing my mind, apparently have something in common with one of the younger puppies. We both like a bit of the old booze.
Several Days After That
Went to this delightful little cafe down the road. Spilled sauce on best suit. Am v.peeved.
Later
Thatcher2 phoned up, saying something about A Rack and Sud Arm, didn't understand a word of it. I think he must have a cold. I should take him to the vets.
Later even more
Oh! It's Suddam!! I see now. Something about weapons. Don't quite understand and my auto cue was very far away, don't they know I don't read too good? Apparently I've given them an ultimatum. Something to do with the Taliban I think.
Although, some reporters seemed to be under the impression they weren't linked at all.
Reporters are very funny chaps, I see them laughing at me all the time. I wanna know what they're laughing at, could use a good joke.
More Days Later
Man called Blix is looking at Suddam and the weapons for me and the UN. Don't like the UN. They don't serve nice biscuits and the coffee machine broke.
Don't think I like Blix either, he's annoying me. Funny name.
Thatcher2 was especially cute today.
Planning to go to Camp David this weekend. Should take blue swim shorts or red? Am v.fetching in skin tight red.
Author: Jillybean
Disclaimer: A lot of this material may be offensive to some readers. Some people may wish it to be removed from the site. If you are one of these people, I'm glad that you want to curtail freedom of speech. It proves to me that I am correct.
All characters are fictional, any resemblance to characters real or other wise is purely intentional.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The War Diaries
~Or The Diaries of Henry Cue Tree and his faithful doggy Thatcher2 ~
Day 1
Oooh!!!! Have got new diary!! Will write in it every day!
Day 2
Am V. nervous and scared, is election day. Wonder if I will win.
Day 3
Have found this marvellous new holiday resort called Camp David!! Am told I can only go there if am president. Am v. pissed off because does not look like will be president.
Later
Oooh!!! Am getting recount. Me love my family!!!
Day 4
There's this really cute doggy that lives in Britain, wanted to take it home and love it forever and ever and ever, but was told by stuffy man that Thatcher2 had to stay in Britain. Not like stuffy man at all!!!
Day . . . ooh, lost count
Am president!!!! Oooh!!! Mummy said that that was why I should have been nice to my cousin, don't see why. But there we go. Can now go to Camp David!! Yay!!
Later
Oooh!! There's a spaceship in Roswell!!!! Hmm, wonder if Thatcher2 can be convinced to come for a ride. I imagine he's the kind of puppy who likes to hang his head out of the window.
Later still
My office is the funkiest!! Take that you other people with not so funky offices.
On another note, slightly slipped up while swearing on bible. Don't think anyone noticed. Lingered too long on 'not'.
Another Day
Me like my new puppy loads!!!! He's so sweet! You throw biscuits and he goes and gets a stuffy British man to pick them up!!! He has little puppies too, I don't like them as much
Later
Am changing my mind, apparently have something in common with one of the younger puppies. We both like a bit of the old booze.
Several Days After That
Went to this delightful little cafe down the road. Spilled sauce on best suit. Am v.peeved.
Later
Thatcher2 phoned up, saying something about A Rack and Sud Arm, didn't understand a word of it. I think he must have a cold. I should take him to the vets.
Later even more
Oh! It's Suddam!! I see now. Something about weapons. Don't quite understand and my auto cue was very far away, don't they know I don't read too good? Apparently I've given them an ultimatum. Something to do with the Taliban I think.
Although, some reporters seemed to be under the impression they weren't linked at all.
Reporters are very funny chaps, I see them laughing at me all the time. I wanna know what they're laughing at, could use a good joke.
More Days Later
Man called Blix is looking at Suddam and the weapons for me and the UN. Don't like the UN. They don't serve nice biscuits and the coffee machine broke.
Don't think I like Blix either, he's annoying me. Funny name.
Thatcher2 was especially cute today.
Planning to go to Camp David this weekend. Should take blue swim shorts or red? Am v.fetching in skin tight red.