A/N: Hey everyone! For all of you who ever had Alone on their favorites list or anything, I am updating the original one to tell you all that I have started on my new project which is Alone: Remix. It is a better, more elaborate, and slightly different from the original. I'm very please with how everything is turning out so far. You will all love reading the chapters now. I promise. You can find Alone: Remix in my story page. Hope to see you there! Sorry that I took forever.
Hues of red and orange brighten and fall with the passing days.
Each leaf a passing memory scattered to the wind.
Memories fading with time only to be replaced with the new...
I woke up with a start. It had just happened again. I just had the dream again. I was trembling and a cold sheen of sweat covered every inch of my exposed skin. I realized that I was sitting up; the covers were clinging to my moist chest. I brought my hand up to my forehead and sighed. "Not again," I thought, slowly removing the covers from my body. I looked over at the glowing red numbers on the clock. It showed 3:48. I lay back down, making sure that I covered myself properly, and I sighed. It has been the third time this week that the dream has occurred. It won't stop haunting me, making sleep a very frightening thing. I never knew when it would come. All I know is that it was all because of him.
Puffs of moisture bursted out from my nose as I breathed in the crisp autumn air. I smiled at all the things that were around me. It was a beautiful day. The sky was clear, the air was cool, children walking to school were playing and laughing, the slow passages of cars went by as if they were unseen, and leaves fell with ever whisper of the wind. I was already halfway to my school, Church Hill High School. What was to come later in the day would change me. I didn't know it at the time. I just proceeded on my way, looking at every little tree that lined the street. Leaves always sparked a little interested in me. They grow, live, and die, just like the rest of us. They pass us, and we never know it. It always made me think about people in the same terms. Did the person on the other end of the street live his or her own intricate little life just as I did? Would they ever remember me if I were to say hello right now? They lived their own lives, and there's nothing that I could do about it.
I arrived at my school and entered it. I walked down the hallways, surrounded by kids, surrounded by noise, surrounded by opportunities to make a hundred new friends each and every day. First through fourth went by without a hitch. I have lunch then. I went through the kiosk line, picked up a sandwich and a container of milk. "Don't make eye contact, they will only hurt you," I thought, moving along the line slowly. I punched in my number and gave the lady my money. I passed people by, making sure not to bump into them and went to the table that I have always sat at, alone.
I then become a "spectator". I have always felt like a "spectator" to life in general. Always expected to watch, but never invited to play. I see other people laugh, I see them having fun, I see them having serious conversations that I'm sure no one would ever have with me. I see boys and girls kissing in plain sight of everybody else, I see them sneak off into the bathrooms together for privacy, and I see them borrow cigarettes from each other. Life is unfair and cruel.
I don't even have one friend at this school. I try to communicate and make some but all it seems to bring is scorn and harassment. I don't deserve this treatment. I have done nothing to them. Moving here was the worst possible decision my mother has ever made. She had just gotten out of a bad relationship with my now ex-stepfather. He was abusive and hateful towards my mother and me. I took a break from thinking of the bad times of now and then and began to eat. I felt a pressure then. You know, the ones where you know that someone is looking at you. I look up to find a boy looking my way. His sweet face showed a bit of compassion and sincerity but he's one of the popular kids. They never associate with the likes of anyone like me. I looked over at him again to find him still looking my way. This made me take a second look at him. His name is Cris Hess. He's a handsome fellow, with mussed-gelled black hair, vibrant brown eyes, a worthy physique, not too muscled and not too scrawny, all right preppy outfit, and that aura that attracts every person to him. All the people around him acted as if they were moths with the promise of light at the end of the tunnel. "I wonder? Does he know that all his friends are fake? They feed off his charisma, trying to make it their own." I looked away and ate my lunch in peace and without much thought. I got up as the bell rung; made sure everything was where it should be. The rest of the day flew by.
The final bell rung, releasing every person into whatever activity they had planned to do or whatever. I knew what I was going to do, nothing at all. I did the same thing everyday. I would always go home, go to the computer and talk to the friends in my old town. It makes me feel a little bit more whole then when I go to school here. I get to the stairs and stop. I look at all the heads moving, going off into tangents. "Do they realize that I'm right here on the steps? I bet they don't," I thought, starting my own little way to my house. I walked about 15 feet before a hand stopped me by tapping my shoulder. I ignored it, thinking it was a prankster of some sort, trying to make me look like a fool. I felt the tap again. I turned around and guess whom I saw. It was Cris Hess. I never had noticed it before but he's about four inches taller than me. I ignored his looks and just looked into his eyes.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"I really don't know how to say this, but I've been noticin ya lately. Don't take me wrong or anything, but ya seem lonely."
"I'm not lonely," I lied, "That's interesting that I've some how caught your interest, but I really do need to get home now. If you will excuse me, I will leave now." I turned on the ball of my foot and head towards my house. I didn't look back; everyone knows that if you do, they will keep on bugging you. I've heard stories of the popular choosing a reject for a week to put under their wing. I guess it's their sick version of charity. This may be my chance to make a friend but I look back to the others they have done this too. It's not a great thing. They ended up making huge fools of themselves at all the big parties, burying themselves way down the social ladder just a few more rungs at each time. Also, I heard that each one had to do something drastic to even get into the "circle." "What a bunch of crock. I would never do anything like that." I went deeper into the crowd, hoping I lost the fool and his vicious attempt at another joke. I was almost out of the masses of people when I heard my name being called which was very odd. I didn't think that anyone except for the teachers knew my name. To tell the truth, I was shocked. Why would a popular ever want to get acquainted with or interact with a reject like myself? I stopped. I don't know what made me do it, but I did it. Maybe it was my sub-conscious trying to make me realize that this was a great opportunity to make a friend at this new school. Maybe it was me all the time, just me never noticing it. Maybe it was fate, but all in all, I slowly turned around, my backpack bumping into people as they passed by.
He was where he was last standing, him waving his hands above his head, exposing a bit of his stomach as he jumped up and down to catch my attention. Once he saw me turn around, he smiled a precious smile. It glowed brightly, and it was directed at me alone. How the girls would have melt just for one of those smiles. He came my way and stopped right in front of me. He looked down right into my eyes. He searched me with those soul searchers. I felt open, as if I was telling him all my thoughts and secrets with this one act. A millisecond later it all ended with him blinking. I was drawn out from my reverie without even knowing I was ever in a trance and saw his smile blazing a path of hope my way. I cleared my throat.
"You know my name... that is very surprising. How do you know it?" I looked into his face without any emotion letting through. If this was what I thought it was, then I actually may be in some trouble.
"Well, Mark, I've been askin everyone for your name for a while now, but nobody seems to know what it is. I finally gave up askin all the kids and did the next best thing. I remember seein ya go in to the pre-cal room for first, so I went in to see Coach Farley, and I asked for your name. He only told me your first name but that is all I needed to know for now. I've been tryin to figure a way to confront ya, but I couldn't think of a way. So, I just did what I do normally and came up to ya. I'm sorry if this is kinda weird. I wanna be your friend if ya don't mind. Trust me here, I'm not tryin to make you look bad or anything."
"Well, I'm going to have to think it over. Maybe," I then turned again, but he stopped me with his hand. I looked at his hand then at his face.
"Here, let me give ya my number," He took out his pen and wrote Cris 555-1369 on the palm of my hand, "Please give me a call tonight. Do it any time, I mean anytime. I really do wanna become your friend. Please trust me." And with that, he left towards the parking lot. I looked down at my palm. I had all sorts of emotions running through me. Fear, Ecstasy, Uncertainty, Disbelief, Joy. "This how those girls must feel in those movies," I thought, a wild grin starting to spread across my face. My eyes opened a bit more and breathed out slowly. I then shook it off after remembering what the popular did to the other rejects. "I promise not get sucked into their world. I will get out as soon as I smell something fishy. I swear." Then I slowly started my way back towards my house. The whole walk was a blur. The only thing I could remember the way back was the way he held my hand gently as he wrote his name and number. I looked down at my palm and sighed. "My luck may actually change after all."