Why do I feel so cheated

My heart aches, I feel so fucking defeated

Broken down and torn apart

I cannot stop this anguish rising in my heart

Tears flow freely down my face

Logical thought fleeing without a trace

I am now what I never was before

So keep it locked tight, I shut the door

To you, I cannot speak

With you, I am so fucking weak

If you hurt, I do too

Find my feelings and pain beginning anew

I'm not sure if I can deal

With these wounds that never quite seem to heal

I feel so trapped in this abyss

Seems like there's no one left to miss

Me, I know they won't, or can't, or don't,

I don't mind

For in me, destruction is all you'll ever find

I hate myself, as you know

But do you know to the extent that I never allow myself to show?