A/N: This story had been prowling in my mind and The Muse told me to write.
Coffee will do that to you. In an effort to be more minimalistic, I'm
experimenting with my style but I'm afraid it's starting to sound choppy.
Kudos to those who actually write constructive reviews. I am in desperate
need of feedback. And I'm having trouble figuring out how to do italics on
ff.net. Anyone want to give some help?
Chapter One: Underrated Cabbages
Listen:
There is a fantastical world. It is the clone of every other fantastical world dreamt by dreamers. They are all the same. The names vary, but in the end the story's always about magic, a dark lord, an unlikely hero, and the fate of humanity. This story claims no originality. Fantasy, as a book genre, is cursed to forever orbit around cliché themes. Creating a place beyond reality as we know it is difficult. The concept is hard enough to grasp; details are out of the question. Thus, the only plot that's left for the writer is the evil wizard scheming to take over the kingdom that's trying in vain to impersonate medieval Britain. This story is like that; but it does involve cabbages. Yes, oodles of cabbages.
They're looming below us now; exactly one hundred acres of leafy goodness in long, neat rows. Somewhere down there, near the edge bordering the road, is a house. It currently has one inhabitant. His name is Nox. He happens to be writing a letter.
Dearest Sister,
How are you and Cainem doing in town? I know you worry about me, but let me assure you that I am perfectly well and happy. Could you possibly set aside some Faeriebane for me when I come next week? The little nuisances have found another way to sneak into the house again.
Your brother, Nox
P.S. You have a little habit of reading further into my prose than intentioned. Rest assured that there are no hidden messages of loneliness or depression here. I am really very happy.
Nox sat back and let the ink dry. He couldn't help but notice how short his letter was. No, short wasn't the right word. brief, yes, that was better. His letter was brief. And brevity was the soul of wit. He began to fold up his letter to be sealed.
A conspicuous series of giggles came from the far corner of the room. Nox gritted his teeth and mentally prepared himself for the worst.
"Hey, Noxy? Want to play a game?!"
"No," Nox replied, cautiously averting his gaze from the pixie hovering just behind his left ear. He continued to fold the letter.
"Aww, let's play a game, Noxynoxy!"
"No." There were several gathered now. He could feel a few of them gripping the strands of hair on the back of his head, waiting for the right time to yank.
"Noxy?"
"What?" You had to answer. If you didn't, they'd sneak into the kitchen, find a good-sized kettle and hit you over the head with it.
"What's reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally ugly?"
"I don't know."
The minute speaker gasped. "Noxy doesn't know?!" It's cohorts laughed maliciously. "Heeheehee! Noxy is a poopyhead! Noxy is a poopyhead!" They twirled about him in evil glee, pulling on his hair and ears. One perched on his nose and did a tap dance. "Noxy has ugly ears, Noxy has ugly hair, Noxy has an ugly nose, Noxy's reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally ugly!"
Nox was about to light the wick of his sealing wax before he thought better of it (pixies turned nasty around sealing wax. No one knew why). Instead he shoved the letter into a desk drawer to be mailed later and sat back in his chair, trying his best to ignore his companions.
He had made a pixieswatter once. It hadn't worked. Nothing worked on the diminutive foes but faeriebane; pity he was all out. Well, if you were willing to put in a genuine effort, and willing to backstab your fellow man, there were certain tricks you could pull. They didn't involve outsmarting the pixies so much as shifting the target. More than once he had sat all day by the road, waiting for the next traveler to pass by. When one came into view he had pointed out to the pixies how ugly the man was and how much he probably wanted a friend. This had gotten them dizzy with excitement. They loved to "help" people. As the traveler drew near, Nox had said hello and mentioned the good weather. The poor man's smile vanished when a dozen pixies latched onto his scull and hailed him as "Big Nasty Man With The Shocking Eyebrows And Slug Lips".
Incidents like these were probably the reason why Nox was the only one still living in this corner of the Barony, and why no one seemed to want to travel the road near his farm anymore.
"Noxy is a poopyhead! Noxy is a poopyhead!"
Perhaps if he sat really still, they'd forget he was there. Perhaps he could catch just one and threaten to pull its wings off. Perhaps if he covered himself in honey the pixies would stick to him like flypaper. Then he could. no, wait, that would just encourage them to lick him.
"Would you guys like to visit pixie paradise?" he asked quietly.
The one doing the tap dance on his nose hesitated, looking suspicious. "What Noxynoxy mean?"
"There's a beautiful land of never-ending joy. It's magically hidden, but I know where the trap door is. All you have to do is dive into Lake Scurmble. There's a trapdoor and passage at the bottom."
The tap dancer glared, then bent down and pinched him hard. "Stupid poopyhead! Fizzwutter said you told about pixie happyplace last week. He almost drowned inna lake! Nasty ugly Noxynoxy poopyhead liar!"
Nox growled and rubbed his throbbing nose. He could hardly see the connection between offhandedly mentioning such a thing to one of his more gullible tormentors and the pixie almost drowning.
"It's a secret passage, of course it's going to be hard to find! He just didn't stay down long enough," Nox explained. The tap dancing pixie poked him in the eye.
He wasn't going to get rid of them until sunset. Nox resigned himself to the fact. When the clock suggested he had a little over ten minutes before the mail griffin arrived, he hastily wrote his sister's address on the back and didn't bother to seal it. Silently, he stood from his chair.
"I'm just going outside for a minute, why don't you lot stay here and make yourself comfortable?" he suggested.
"NO! We go where Noxynoxy goes!"
"Yeah, Noxy's our friend! Noxy can't leave without us!"
Nox cursed himself for what he was about to say. "There are spoons in the kitchen."
The gibbering stopped. "Really?"
"Oh yes." Did he desire freedom so strongly that he could win it at the cost of his flatware?
"Reallyreallyreallyreally?"
Hell yeah. "Second drawer on the left." That was good enough for them. Off they flew en masse. A sigh of relief emitted from Nox as he dashed for the door.
The air outside was pleasantly cool. The sun was dipping moderately low on the horizon, much to Nox's contentment. As soon as the last rays of light were gone his little friends, being horribly afraid of the dark, would go zipping back to their hidey-holes and leave him in peace. From the west, the fuzzy silhouette of the mail griffin could be seen flapping towards him so he clipped his letter under the red pennant on the mail pole and hoisted them both high in the air before sitting down on the front steps to admire his cabbages.
They truly were a fine crop; under appreciated, to be sure, but that was because other people wouldn't take the time to understand them. There was. something about cabbages that just wasn't achievable with other crops. It was almost as if the leafy green heads had souls.
"Hello, friends," Nox whispered with a small smile gracing his normally pinched lips. When he had been young, and privileged by his father to only cultivate a small portion of the field, each of his individual charges had had a name. Since then, though, he had inherited the whole farm, forced to expand and hire on extra help. His small colony had grown into a flourishing metropolis at the expense of one-on-one relationships. He was torn between being the keeper of so many and yet the acquaintance of so few.
With a sigh he got up and wandered between the rows, trying to make himself feel better. From here, his assistants were visible on the far edge near the forest, pulling weeds. Goblins made good hired help. They were submissive yet sly, and loyal as long as their wages were good. Admittedly, these two brothers had been a bit slow in learning proper vegetable care, but it had been heaven for Nox to teach someone willing to listen.
Gritchin, the younger sibling, waved when he noticed Nox walking. Nox smiled and sauntered over to help with the weeding. "How are you two?"
"Hallo, sir," Flench rasped in his woodland brogue. His small grubby hands were intent on pulling out a rather stubborn dandelion. Nox encircled his larger digits around the goblin's and together they hauled it out, roots and all. "Thanks, sir," Flench nibbled absentmindedly on the weed. "Little booger's been bothering me f'r twenty minutes."
"Had much trouble today?"
"No, sir. We found worms wriggling about."
Nox brightened in glee. "That's wonderful! Worms are a good sign that the soil is rich and-"
"Hope you don't mind if we et a few."
Nox stuttered to a stop and tried to keep from going pale. "No, no, that's just fine, Gritchin.. I guess. Just leave a few for the soil, okay?"
"Yes, sir."
"You can leave now, the sun'll be setting soon," Nox offered. Gritchin and Flench nodded, then headed towards the forest where they shared a cave. "Tomorrow at dawn, right?"
"Yes, sir," They chorused back. Nox watched them as they disappeared behind the trunk of a large tree. They were good boys. They helped weed, water, thin, plant and harvest all for a few pennies a week and 'the experience of working in civilization,' as they put it. So what if they had odd eating habits?
"Hey! You down there!"
Nox whirled around to see the mail griffin hovering over his house, letter gripped in a foreclaw.
"This your letter?"
"Yeah," Nox called back, running closer to the house to make speaking easier. Of course it was his letter! Did the beast think cabbages could write?
"It's not sealed."
"So?"
"I can't take it! Regulations say letters have to be sealed!"
"Just do me a favor and take it, eh? It's not as if anything's going to fall out. I wrote down the address and everything!"
The conversation was interrupted as the sun sunk below the horizon. A dozen shrieking pixies rocketed out of the house, swarming about Nox like a buzzing cloud as they made a b-line for the forest. Each held several shiny spoons in its clutches.
Knowing all too well what fearful pixies meant, the griffin looked over its shoulder at the sun and cursed a curse that would have made eagles blanch and lions whimper. It was behind schedule. Flinging the unsealed letter into the pouch around its neck, it sped off in a northwesterly direction.
Well, at least he took it, Nox thought. And the pixies were gone, that was another plus. He went inside to make a cup of tea.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Cainem, it's just horrible, the way he lives out there all alone! We have to do something for him!"
"That's what you say every time he sends you a letter, darling."
"Yes, but this time I mean it! This letter is proof that Nox is going to fall apart without human companionship. He talks to his cabbages, Cainem!"
"So I've heard."
"These little sentences of his are screaming in agony, calling out to be relieved of the burden of running father's farm all alone!" She thrust the letter under his nose so that he was forced to read it for himself.
"Um, darling, don't you think that contradicts the P.S.? I quote: You have a little habit of reading further into my prose than intentioned. Rest assured that there are no hidden messages of loneliness or depression here. I am really very happy." He folded his arms and eyed his wife with a questioning look.
Silence. "That's just Nox's way," she finally replied testily. "He's the quiet type. It only further proves my point, actually."
"I'm sure it does, darling." Cainem knew it was futile to continue fighting when his wife digressed into illogical explanations. He kissed her briefly on the lips instead, certifying his submission. "He'll be here in six days anyway. You can bring it up with him then."
"Hm. yes.." She broke away with a devious grin, obviously pondering the several ways she could go about it, then ran out of the room.
"You will get the faeriebane, right?" he called after her.
"Oh, I'll do much better than that, dearest husband."
"How could such a woman have such a brother?" Cainem mused to himself before following to make sure she didn't get too extreme in her sibling- torture methods.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Drink up, friends, the sun'll get hot later," Nox warned his plants as he splashed them with their daily dose of water from the well. It was tiring work to be doing in the mist before dawn. There were only four buckets to share among Gritchin, Flench and himself and a hundred acres to dampen from one small well. The majority of the people in town wouldn't be up until morning had broken and the though of just lying there under the quilt was something Nox liked to fantasize about. If only he had enough money to buy one of those fancy new magical irrigation systems.. Oh well, hard labor was all for the promotion of his dear cabbages. The thought made him heave his bucket with more vigor. "Drink up! Drink up! It's good and cold!"
"Ho there!"
The voice certainly didn't belong to one of the goblins. Nox began to look about frantically to see which of his cabbages had sprouted a mouth and tongue.
"I say, I'm over here, man!" Ah, yes, the road, the place where people walked. That made sense, though for the life of him Nox couldn't come up with a plausible reason why someone would want to walk on it. It led nowhere special, and the traveler was liable to run into some rather extroverted fayfolk.
"Anything you need?" Nox asked, skeptical of this man with mustaches, a sword and expensive looking armor.
"I was just curious whether or not you're familiar with any dens of evil that need thwarting around these parts."
Nox was confused. "No."
The stranger nodded, looking strangely unhappy about that. "Is this a waystation?"
Nox was still confused. "It's a farm."
"Ah, I see! Lots of crops. Yes, that would indicate a farm." Nox hoped he was finally catching on. He realized he still hadn't when the stranger's face lit up in awe and said, "You must be quite a warrior to keep the sinister beasts at bay, then."
"What?!"
"The monsters," he pointed off towards the forest, "that most assuredly reside in yon wood."
"Why would I need to 'keep them at bay'? It's not as if I infuriate them! The worst thing I have to deal with is a troupe of impulsive pixies."
The stranger was getting nervous now. "No dragons?" he offered. "I hear they love to antagonize farm folk and carry off livestock."
"What would a dragon want with cabbages?!" Nox was getting unreasonably hysterical as people skills were not one of his high points. "I don't even keep a mule for plowing!" Mentally, he wondered if he shouldn't simmer down. Just a tad.
The stranger's eyes grew wide in horror and his mustaches wilted. "Watch out!" He clambered over the fence, drawing his sword to fend off something behind Nox. "Get behind me! I'll deal with them!"
Nox turned around, more curious than afraid, but all he spotted was Gritchin and Flench running over to see what the ruckus was about. This, unfortunately, threw his anger past the point of no return. "They work for me, you abysmal toad!" Nox screamed, knocking away the stranger's poised weapon with his bucket. It was appalling that this man wanted to do battle with his hired help. Gritchin and Flench halted, seeing that their entrance into the conversation might not be a good idea.
The stranger, no, homicidal menace, Nox decided, looked at him in surprise. "You work along side this scum?"
"How dare you call them scum! They do the majority of the work around here!"
"My good sir, I don't think you understand the evil, conniving ways of goblins. They will steal you gold, then stab you in the back."
With a quivering finger Nox pointed back towards the road. It took all of his will power not to jump on the guy and bite him. If he did, he feared, he would be impaled upon that sword and have several broken teeth from the glimmering armor. "Leave. Shove off to the forest, or where ever it was you're going to."
The stranger sighed, sheathed his sword and jumped back over the fence. "It pains me that you won't allow assistance in such a wild area as this." Nox was still glaring, so the stranger tried a different tactic. "I can only hope you will take yourself somewhere safer before the Dark Lord gains too much power." Now Nox was back to original expression of confusion. Oh well, the stranger thought, better that than rage. Time to leave before the farmer got feudal with that bucket. "Dangerous times are ahead. Farewell." And with that he mounted his horse andwas cantering down the road.
Nox watched him disappear into the bleary outlines of the forest and mouthed "Dark Lord?" He turned to Gritchin and Flench. "What did he mean by that?"
"Dunno, sir," Flench shrugged. "Is everything good?"
"Yeah, I guess so." Nox squinted down the road to where the man had vanished, then shook his head. "Weirdo."
Chapter One: Underrated Cabbages
Listen:
There is a fantastical world. It is the clone of every other fantastical world dreamt by dreamers. They are all the same. The names vary, but in the end the story's always about magic, a dark lord, an unlikely hero, and the fate of humanity. This story claims no originality. Fantasy, as a book genre, is cursed to forever orbit around cliché themes. Creating a place beyond reality as we know it is difficult. The concept is hard enough to grasp; details are out of the question. Thus, the only plot that's left for the writer is the evil wizard scheming to take over the kingdom that's trying in vain to impersonate medieval Britain. This story is like that; but it does involve cabbages. Yes, oodles of cabbages.
They're looming below us now; exactly one hundred acres of leafy goodness in long, neat rows. Somewhere down there, near the edge bordering the road, is a house. It currently has one inhabitant. His name is Nox. He happens to be writing a letter.
Dearest Sister,
How are you and Cainem doing in town? I know you worry about me, but let me assure you that I am perfectly well and happy. Could you possibly set aside some Faeriebane for me when I come next week? The little nuisances have found another way to sneak into the house again.
Your brother, Nox
P.S. You have a little habit of reading further into my prose than intentioned. Rest assured that there are no hidden messages of loneliness or depression here. I am really very happy.
Nox sat back and let the ink dry. He couldn't help but notice how short his letter was. No, short wasn't the right word. brief, yes, that was better. His letter was brief. And brevity was the soul of wit. He began to fold up his letter to be sealed.
A conspicuous series of giggles came from the far corner of the room. Nox gritted his teeth and mentally prepared himself for the worst.
"Hey, Noxy? Want to play a game?!"
"No," Nox replied, cautiously averting his gaze from the pixie hovering just behind his left ear. He continued to fold the letter.
"Aww, let's play a game, Noxynoxy!"
"No." There were several gathered now. He could feel a few of them gripping the strands of hair on the back of his head, waiting for the right time to yank.
"Noxy?"
"What?" You had to answer. If you didn't, they'd sneak into the kitchen, find a good-sized kettle and hit you over the head with it.
"What's reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally ugly?"
"I don't know."
The minute speaker gasped. "Noxy doesn't know?!" It's cohorts laughed maliciously. "Heeheehee! Noxy is a poopyhead! Noxy is a poopyhead!" They twirled about him in evil glee, pulling on his hair and ears. One perched on his nose and did a tap dance. "Noxy has ugly ears, Noxy has ugly hair, Noxy has an ugly nose, Noxy's reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally ugly!"
Nox was about to light the wick of his sealing wax before he thought better of it (pixies turned nasty around sealing wax. No one knew why). Instead he shoved the letter into a desk drawer to be mailed later and sat back in his chair, trying his best to ignore his companions.
He had made a pixieswatter once. It hadn't worked. Nothing worked on the diminutive foes but faeriebane; pity he was all out. Well, if you were willing to put in a genuine effort, and willing to backstab your fellow man, there were certain tricks you could pull. They didn't involve outsmarting the pixies so much as shifting the target. More than once he had sat all day by the road, waiting for the next traveler to pass by. When one came into view he had pointed out to the pixies how ugly the man was and how much he probably wanted a friend. This had gotten them dizzy with excitement. They loved to "help" people. As the traveler drew near, Nox had said hello and mentioned the good weather. The poor man's smile vanished when a dozen pixies latched onto his scull and hailed him as "Big Nasty Man With The Shocking Eyebrows And Slug Lips".
Incidents like these were probably the reason why Nox was the only one still living in this corner of the Barony, and why no one seemed to want to travel the road near his farm anymore.
"Noxy is a poopyhead! Noxy is a poopyhead!"
Perhaps if he sat really still, they'd forget he was there. Perhaps he could catch just one and threaten to pull its wings off. Perhaps if he covered himself in honey the pixies would stick to him like flypaper. Then he could. no, wait, that would just encourage them to lick him.
"Would you guys like to visit pixie paradise?" he asked quietly.
The one doing the tap dance on his nose hesitated, looking suspicious. "What Noxynoxy mean?"
"There's a beautiful land of never-ending joy. It's magically hidden, but I know where the trap door is. All you have to do is dive into Lake Scurmble. There's a trapdoor and passage at the bottom."
The tap dancer glared, then bent down and pinched him hard. "Stupid poopyhead! Fizzwutter said you told about pixie happyplace last week. He almost drowned inna lake! Nasty ugly Noxynoxy poopyhead liar!"
Nox growled and rubbed his throbbing nose. He could hardly see the connection between offhandedly mentioning such a thing to one of his more gullible tormentors and the pixie almost drowning.
"It's a secret passage, of course it's going to be hard to find! He just didn't stay down long enough," Nox explained. The tap dancing pixie poked him in the eye.
He wasn't going to get rid of them until sunset. Nox resigned himself to the fact. When the clock suggested he had a little over ten minutes before the mail griffin arrived, he hastily wrote his sister's address on the back and didn't bother to seal it. Silently, he stood from his chair.
"I'm just going outside for a minute, why don't you lot stay here and make yourself comfortable?" he suggested.
"NO! We go where Noxynoxy goes!"
"Yeah, Noxy's our friend! Noxy can't leave without us!"
Nox cursed himself for what he was about to say. "There are spoons in the kitchen."
The gibbering stopped. "Really?"
"Oh yes." Did he desire freedom so strongly that he could win it at the cost of his flatware?
"Reallyreallyreallyreally?"
Hell yeah. "Second drawer on the left." That was good enough for them. Off they flew en masse. A sigh of relief emitted from Nox as he dashed for the door.
The air outside was pleasantly cool. The sun was dipping moderately low on the horizon, much to Nox's contentment. As soon as the last rays of light were gone his little friends, being horribly afraid of the dark, would go zipping back to their hidey-holes and leave him in peace. From the west, the fuzzy silhouette of the mail griffin could be seen flapping towards him so he clipped his letter under the red pennant on the mail pole and hoisted them both high in the air before sitting down on the front steps to admire his cabbages.
They truly were a fine crop; under appreciated, to be sure, but that was because other people wouldn't take the time to understand them. There was. something about cabbages that just wasn't achievable with other crops. It was almost as if the leafy green heads had souls.
"Hello, friends," Nox whispered with a small smile gracing his normally pinched lips. When he had been young, and privileged by his father to only cultivate a small portion of the field, each of his individual charges had had a name. Since then, though, he had inherited the whole farm, forced to expand and hire on extra help. His small colony had grown into a flourishing metropolis at the expense of one-on-one relationships. He was torn between being the keeper of so many and yet the acquaintance of so few.
With a sigh he got up and wandered between the rows, trying to make himself feel better. From here, his assistants were visible on the far edge near the forest, pulling weeds. Goblins made good hired help. They were submissive yet sly, and loyal as long as their wages were good. Admittedly, these two brothers had been a bit slow in learning proper vegetable care, but it had been heaven for Nox to teach someone willing to listen.
Gritchin, the younger sibling, waved when he noticed Nox walking. Nox smiled and sauntered over to help with the weeding. "How are you two?"
"Hallo, sir," Flench rasped in his woodland brogue. His small grubby hands were intent on pulling out a rather stubborn dandelion. Nox encircled his larger digits around the goblin's and together they hauled it out, roots and all. "Thanks, sir," Flench nibbled absentmindedly on the weed. "Little booger's been bothering me f'r twenty minutes."
"Had much trouble today?"
"No, sir. We found worms wriggling about."
Nox brightened in glee. "That's wonderful! Worms are a good sign that the soil is rich and-"
"Hope you don't mind if we et a few."
Nox stuttered to a stop and tried to keep from going pale. "No, no, that's just fine, Gritchin.. I guess. Just leave a few for the soil, okay?"
"Yes, sir."
"You can leave now, the sun'll be setting soon," Nox offered. Gritchin and Flench nodded, then headed towards the forest where they shared a cave. "Tomorrow at dawn, right?"
"Yes, sir," They chorused back. Nox watched them as they disappeared behind the trunk of a large tree. They were good boys. They helped weed, water, thin, plant and harvest all for a few pennies a week and 'the experience of working in civilization,' as they put it. So what if they had odd eating habits?
"Hey! You down there!"
Nox whirled around to see the mail griffin hovering over his house, letter gripped in a foreclaw.
"This your letter?"
"Yeah," Nox called back, running closer to the house to make speaking easier. Of course it was his letter! Did the beast think cabbages could write?
"It's not sealed."
"So?"
"I can't take it! Regulations say letters have to be sealed!"
"Just do me a favor and take it, eh? It's not as if anything's going to fall out. I wrote down the address and everything!"
The conversation was interrupted as the sun sunk below the horizon. A dozen shrieking pixies rocketed out of the house, swarming about Nox like a buzzing cloud as they made a b-line for the forest. Each held several shiny spoons in its clutches.
Knowing all too well what fearful pixies meant, the griffin looked over its shoulder at the sun and cursed a curse that would have made eagles blanch and lions whimper. It was behind schedule. Flinging the unsealed letter into the pouch around its neck, it sped off in a northwesterly direction.
Well, at least he took it, Nox thought. And the pixies were gone, that was another plus. He went inside to make a cup of tea.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Cainem, it's just horrible, the way he lives out there all alone! We have to do something for him!"
"That's what you say every time he sends you a letter, darling."
"Yes, but this time I mean it! This letter is proof that Nox is going to fall apart without human companionship. He talks to his cabbages, Cainem!"
"So I've heard."
"These little sentences of his are screaming in agony, calling out to be relieved of the burden of running father's farm all alone!" She thrust the letter under his nose so that he was forced to read it for himself.
"Um, darling, don't you think that contradicts the P.S.? I quote: You have a little habit of reading further into my prose than intentioned. Rest assured that there are no hidden messages of loneliness or depression here. I am really very happy." He folded his arms and eyed his wife with a questioning look.
Silence. "That's just Nox's way," she finally replied testily. "He's the quiet type. It only further proves my point, actually."
"I'm sure it does, darling." Cainem knew it was futile to continue fighting when his wife digressed into illogical explanations. He kissed her briefly on the lips instead, certifying his submission. "He'll be here in six days anyway. You can bring it up with him then."
"Hm. yes.." She broke away with a devious grin, obviously pondering the several ways she could go about it, then ran out of the room.
"You will get the faeriebane, right?" he called after her.
"Oh, I'll do much better than that, dearest husband."
"How could such a woman have such a brother?" Cainem mused to himself before following to make sure she didn't get too extreme in her sibling- torture methods.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Drink up, friends, the sun'll get hot later," Nox warned his plants as he splashed them with their daily dose of water from the well. It was tiring work to be doing in the mist before dawn. There were only four buckets to share among Gritchin, Flench and himself and a hundred acres to dampen from one small well. The majority of the people in town wouldn't be up until morning had broken and the though of just lying there under the quilt was something Nox liked to fantasize about. If only he had enough money to buy one of those fancy new magical irrigation systems.. Oh well, hard labor was all for the promotion of his dear cabbages. The thought made him heave his bucket with more vigor. "Drink up! Drink up! It's good and cold!"
"Ho there!"
The voice certainly didn't belong to one of the goblins. Nox began to look about frantically to see which of his cabbages had sprouted a mouth and tongue.
"I say, I'm over here, man!" Ah, yes, the road, the place where people walked. That made sense, though for the life of him Nox couldn't come up with a plausible reason why someone would want to walk on it. It led nowhere special, and the traveler was liable to run into some rather extroverted fayfolk.
"Anything you need?" Nox asked, skeptical of this man with mustaches, a sword and expensive looking armor.
"I was just curious whether or not you're familiar with any dens of evil that need thwarting around these parts."
Nox was confused. "No."
The stranger nodded, looking strangely unhappy about that. "Is this a waystation?"
Nox was still confused. "It's a farm."
"Ah, I see! Lots of crops. Yes, that would indicate a farm." Nox hoped he was finally catching on. He realized he still hadn't when the stranger's face lit up in awe and said, "You must be quite a warrior to keep the sinister beasts at bay, then."
"What?!"
"The monsters," he pointed off towards the forest, "that most assuredly reside in yon wood."
"Why would I need to 'keep them at bay'? It's not as if I infuriate them! The worst thing I have to deal with is a troupe of impulsive pixies."
The stranger was getting nervous now. "No dragons?" he offered. "I hear they love to antagonize farm folk and carry off livestock."
"What would a dragon want with cabbages?!" Nox was getting unreasonably hysterical as people skills were not one of his high points. "I don't even keep a mule for plowing!" Mentally, he wondered if he shouldn't simmer down. Just a tad.
The stranger's eyes grew wide in horror and his mustaches wilted. "Watch out!" He clambered over the fence, drawing his sword to fend off something behind Nox. "Get behind me! I'll deal with them!"
Nox turned around, more curious than afraid, but all he spotted was Gritchin and Flench running over to see what the ruckus was about. This, unfortunately, threw his anger past the point of no return. "They work for me, you abysmal toad!" Nox screamed, knocking away the stranger's poised weapon with his bucket. It was appalling that this man wanted to do battle with his hired help. Gritchin and Flench halted, seeing that their entrance into the conversation might not be a good idea.
The stranger, no, homicidal menace, Nox decided, looked at him in surprise. "You work along side this scum?"
"How dare you call them scum! They do the majority of the work around here!"
"My good sir, I don't think you understand the evil, conniving ways of goblins. They will steal you gold, then stab you in the back."
With a quivering finger Nox pointed back towards the road. It took all of his will power not to jump on the guy and bite him. If he did, he feared, he would be impaled upon that sword and have several broken teeth from the glimmering armor. "Leave. Shove off to the forest, or where ever it was you're going to."
The stranger sighed, sheathed his sword and jumped back over the fence. "It pains me that you won't allow assistance in such a wild area as this." Nox was still glaring, so the stranger tried a different tactic. "I can only hope you will take yourself somewhere safer before the Dark Lord gains too much power." Now Nox was back to original expression of confusion. Oh well, the stranger thought, better that than rage. Time to leave before the farmer got feudal with that bucket. "Dangerous times are ahead. Farewell." And with that he mounted his horse andwas cantering down the road.
Nox watched him disappear into the bleary outlines of the forest and mouthed "Dark Lord?" He turned to Gritchin and Flench. "What did he mean by that?"
"Dunno, sir," Flench shrugged. "Is everything good?"
"Yeah, I guess so." Nox squinted down the road to where the man had vanished, then shook his head. "Weirdo."