Forever Blue – Reality

Yuko screamed with all her might, lying in her bed.  She stared at the ceiling that she wished she would never see again.  She was back in the wretched reality that she had dreaded.

That morning was what Yuko saw as the time that Lan had died.  In reality, he had no idea who she even was.  He might not even be the same Lan that she fantasized about in her dream.  He was probably completely different than what she thought he was.  To her, Lan had died.

But there were some things worse than death.  When her mother died, she never cried over her.  At that moment, her face was buried in tears.  If someone she loved had passed away, they'd still be with her even after they had left.  But Lan was gone; he was nothing.  He never existed in the first place.

"Yuko!  You're going to be late!" Her father exclaimed, bursting into the door.

"What day is it today...?"

"It's Thursday.  It's already seven, and you're not awake yet?!"

"I don't want to go to school..."

"..Yuko.. are you feeling alright?" He put his hand over her forehead, trying to feel her temperature but she seemed fine.

"No, I'm going to school," Yuko declared.  If she didn't go to school, that meant she was a coward.

After a short pause, her father said, "Well hurry and get dressed.  I'll drive you to the bus stop today on my way to work."

Yuko couldn't just sit around and sulk.  There was no space in the world for her to just cry over something.  Life was impatient; she had to keep going on.  Worry was nothing; just worthless in times like those.

The sky was cloudy, and murky, unlike the clear crisp skies she saw in her dreams.  The birds weren't singing, but instead they were replaced with the buzzing sounds of cars whizzing by.  Driving to the bus stop, the bus seemed darker to her.  It was still the same yellow as always, but it was a murkier yellow.

Yuko looked at the spot by the fence where Lan would usually be waiting for her in the morning, but this time, he wasn't there.  All that she saw there was the annoying lawn mower, ripping and tearing apart the lawn.  It's funny how something so giant has to get rid of something so tiny.

Students walked past her, going on with their lives, leaving her no sympathy.  No one noticed her; she was just another worthless human being trying to get her way through school.  She was worthless, just like everyone else.  There was nothing that distinguished her from anyone else.  There wasn't anyone there to make her feel like the princess she believed she was.

Once again, she saw her friend waiting for her after first period.  Standing by the pillar, staring off into the distance.  She was wearing a different outfit; one she hadn't recognized before.

"Hey Yuko!" She greeted blissfully.

Yuko expected her to ask her what was wrong, but she didn't.  In her dreams, Saki could always tell if she was feeling down, but in reality, she wasn't like that at all.  That was just the Saki that Yuko wanted her to be; it was the Saki she dreamt about.

"Hello."  Yuko was crying, but there were no tears on her face.

"We're gonna be late to English.  Let's hurry."

"Ok." She was already slipping.  How could she let something so simple as a bad dream affect her so much.  If she had never dreamt the dream she had, would she be late for English?  Yuko couldn't afford to waste time on something like that.  She was going crazy, and she knew it, but she didn't want to believe it.

Once more, Yuko returned to the only thing that cared about her, her seat, the one by the window.  Every day, it would wait for her at the same spot, just so it could serve her.

She wanted to cry, but she couldn't.  It felt like the end, but nothing was ending, it was just beginning; it never stopped.  Staring out the window, only listening to the teacher with one ear, she watched as the burning wind swept through the valleys of the cafeteria.

"Hey, you look so down." Saki asked as they walked out the door.  It was about time that her stupid and oblivious friend finally realized she was feeling so down.

"It doesn't matter.  It doesn't affect you anyway." Yuko replied bitterly.

"What are you talking about?  Yuko, you're my best friend, when YOU'RE down, I'M down too.  It's our psychic connection."

"Oh..........................................................................................................................................................................................................?"

"OH? What do u mean oh?  Haha, you know Yuko, no matter how much you try to hide it, I know how you're feeling inside.  I noticed the moment I saw you, but I didn't say anything.  And right now, I'm going to ask you what's wrong, and you know what you're going to say?  You're going to try to avoid the subject, or tell me nothing's wrong."

Yuko didn't say anything.

"That's alright, you don't have to tell me how you're feeling.  All I can do is smile and be happy so maybe, our psychic connection will pick it up and make you happy too."

Seeing Saki all cheery and blissful made Yuko smile with her.

"Make sure you're not all glum during orchestra ok?" Saki said at the point where they left to take off into their different directions, "You know, if you frown too much, you're face is going to stay like that."  That was something Yuko always told Saki when they were little.  It was a long time since she last told Saki that.  Though they didn't believe it anymore, Saki told her anyway.

It was strange how Saki somehow made Yuko feel better.  She was surprised how much Saki had changed.  Before, Yuko had always been the one to make Saki feel better, since she was the more emotional one out of the two.  She never expected Saki to do the same to her when she felt down.  Saki was a much better friend than Yuko had estimated her to be.

When Yuko arrived at the orchestra room, she unpacked her instrument and tuned it up, like everyone else in the room.  Sitting in her seat in the first violin section, she waited for the conductor to come out of his prep office.  Just then, as she glanced at the door to his office, she realized that the place reserved for the piano was replaced by a table, displaying all the trophies the orchestra won at competition.

There never was a piano in the orchestra room; Yuko just imagined it was there.  The school was too cheap to afford a piano in the orchestra room.  The piano was just another aspect of her dream that never existed.  She couldn't even remember the tune that Lan had played on the piano.

In the same way the conductor always did it, he conducted the orchestra to the third movement of the Peer Gynt Suite, Anitra's Tanz.  She played each note carefully, making sure she watched the conductor carefully so that she wouldn't fall off beat.  It was the only way she could release her sorrow.  Her eyes couldn't cry, so her violin cried for her.

Finally, the bell rang for lunchtime.  After packing up her instrument, she headed towards the double doors that lead to the lunch courts.  Once more, she looked behind her shoulder at the trophy table by the office.  Her heart ached, wanting to stay behind.  Maybe, if she waited, Lan would come to play her a song on the piano, but she knew if she had stayed back, she would never be able to get over him.  Her hair flipped behind her as she turned and walked out the door.

"I should go buy lunch alone today..." Saki said under her breath.

"There's nothing wrong with going to lunch alone.  Just because you're afraid of the people there doesn't give you an excuse.  You shouldn't think so highly of yourself to believe that some guy would do something to you if you went there alone." Kagami stated bluntly.

Saki whined, "Your'e so mmeaaannn."

"I'm not mean, I'm just being practical."

"I know, but STILL, you don't have to be so mean about it," she sighed, "I'll just go alone...  I don't to trouble Yuko like what happened yesterday.  Ahh, I feel bad; she has trash duty today."

Kagami put his hand up to her for half a second, and put it back down, making that his nonchalant wave.  Only a few seconds after Saki left, Yuko arrived at the lunch table.

".....hey Kagami." Yuko said, looking around the area.

"Saki went to go get lunch."

"By herself?  Wooww, I'm so proud of her."

Yuko sighed and sat down next to Kagami, "ditcher," She spat out, though she really didn't mean it.

"You know," Kagami initiated, without looking at her, "Saki told me about you; about how you were in the morning."

"Gosh, just broadcast it won't she."  Yuko knew what was coming up.  All she could do was pretend that she was over it; pretend to be strong.

"What's bugging you?"

Something in his voice just coaxed her to tell him, "Just...  I don't know...  something."

"Oh..?"

"I don't know if I should tell you or not."

"I'm not going to bite you if it's not something I wanted to hear.  If I did that, I would've eaten you up a long time ago."

Yuko chuckled, "Well... It had a bad dream..."

"What kind of dream was it?"

"It was...  it started out good.  It was a fantasy I created for myself to escape reality," Yuko felt embarrassed to tell him about Lan.  After all, Kagami would probably feel awkward knowing that she had fantasies about one of his friends, "It was a wonderful dream, but before I knew it, I had to go back to reality.  I didn't want to leave, but I had to.  And now, I'm in reality, and I don't know how to handle it."

Kagami didn't say anything at first.  Yuko figured he was just thinking of something to say to her.

"Don't worry, I'm not going crazy or anything."

"That's alright.  It's ok to go crazy, no one's holding you back."

Yuko was surprised by his answer.

"Reality sucks as it is.  There's not much you can make out of it.  Most people just keep running away from it, trying to avoid it as much as possible.  Some of us have stopped, but some of us are still running, most of us actually.  No one wants to realize the way things really are because it hurts.  People don't like getting hurt, they just want to be happy all the time.  They blind themselves with dreams, believing what's not really there.  The solution to it is that there is no solution.  In the reality that we all know so well, we never stop running."

Yuko looked at him in a way she never saw him before.  He seemed like a completely different person at that moment.  He always had the right words to say at exactly the right time.  At that moment, she finally realized what Saki saw in him.  Just then, Saki arrived.

"Yuko!  You came!" Saki exclaimed, arriving with her lunch, and clearly evident, nothing had happened to her.

"Hey, you DITCHED me!"

Saki gasped, realizing that buying lunch by herself had completely the opposite effect, "...oops.  I'm sorry."

"Yea, you better be sorry," Yuko teased.

What Yuko hadn't realized was that she was in fact the luckiest person in the world.  It was true that there was nothing that distinguished her from anyone else, but it didn't matter.  She had two friends that cared about her more than anything, and that's all she needed.  As she ate lunch with the two of them, she smiled.  They were the two people that made her feel like she could do anything.  The sky peered down, reflecting off of her eyes that were lost into a forever blue.

A/N: THAT'S THE END!!!!!   Wow, it's finally over... (What am I talking about, it's only been three weeks).  Lol I was always planning on updating today, but I was hoping that I'd get 10 reviews by today, and when I only had 5, I was panicking cuz I didn't to be like "Sorry, I bluffed, I was always planning on updating," but thanks to "Under The Street Lamp", I didn't have to do that... wait, I just did... nm.  WELL, I hope all of you enjoyed this fic since I really enjoyed writing it.  =_= I can't believe it's over...  Well, now that I finished writing this fic, I'll be going back to Fallen Angels, the fic you guys all love (Except you Steph, "Forever Blue makes me smile, and FA makes me cry."  I didn't know if I should've taken that as a compliment or not, no jk).  Well, I hope that all of you that read this fic will read my other fics that are coming out soon (or... semi-soon).  I'll have summaries after the review replies.  I was thinking about making a separate chapter with all these author's comments and stuff, but this chapter was short anyway so I might as well put it in this one.

Aznistic – Thanks a lot for reviewing, and all the support.  I never really knew why you loved this fic so much, but yea (wow, that last comment sounded so conceited...).  WELL, I hope you liked this chapter with the rest of them.  And oh yea, MAKE SURE that you play "I believe" at the end ok?

Crimson4 – Wow, I read your essay on why not to learn Japanese, lol, it was funny, but yea, back to the subject.  I'm glad that you read such a stupid story like this one.  I didn't think anyone would read it, except the people I forced to read it at first lol.  Well, I hope that you liked this story, and thanks a lot for reviewing, even though it wasn't the last chapter.

Black Dragon Eyes – Wow, you're my biggest fan (even though you're not really a fan... you're still the biggest).  Thanks a lot for all the reviews, they REALLY help.  And oh yea, I did read your fic, the "pass the kaleidoscope" one.  It seems like a pretty good fic (not done reading yet).  And about the literal 'self-inflicting pain', I guess I was too used to writing Fallen Angels.  Read the last few paragraphs to Fallen Angels, and you wont' think that part in Forever Blue was graphic anymore.  And thanks for visiting my website.  I have nothing posted there though, all of those pictures I've drawn last year, but I think I got worse anyway, so yea.  You're a great artist yourself too (I looked at ur gallery).  Well, originally, I wasn't going to draw stuff for this fic, but since it's been doing so much better than I thought it would, I'm considering drawing fanart for this story.  If I ever do, I'll be sure to notify you.

Teresa – Yes, now the sad ending.  Hey, since I can't really contact you, I'll apologize to you about earlier today.  I wanted to go to the park, but I had an Easter rehersal to go to which I couldn't wiggle out of _.  I wanted to go though...  *Sigh* I started missing you the minute u walked off.  Well, on to the actual story -_-.  I don't think I told you before, but Yuko was actually based on myself, the lazy, and pessimistic type.  I guess we have a lot in common then ^_^.

Under the Street Lamp – Wow, a new reviewer @_@.  Thanks for reviewing!  You saved me from my 10 review trap I set up for myself -_-.  Well, I hope you enjoyed the fic so far.

A/N: wait wait wait, I'm not done yet, I still have summaries for fics I'm going to write later.  Most of you probably don't intend on reading any of them, but still, keep reading, there's something else at the bottom.

Black Wings – This is a continuation of my other fic, Fallen Angels.  It takes off at the part where Ara got the phone message from Roen.  Ara and Dustin's relationship with each other grows stronger as Roen realizes his feelings for her that he's had hidden away for so many years (just for you shoujo fans).  Now that Mayuko, the princess of Heaven, has returned, the final battle between Heaven and Hell is nearing, and somehow, Ara is at the very center of it.

The Song That Changed My Life – (I don't guarantee the title will stay the same by the time I post it).  The story centers around a group of friends at a community college, simply living life at it is.  One day, don't know his name yet ^_^; gets a visit from a salesman, selling him a music box that is said to grant him his wish the night of a full moon.  From then, strange things begin to happen, causing trouble to the people around him, all centering around the fate of single person.  (btw, it's a humor fic).

Autumn Leaves – (same as above, I don't know if the title's going to stay the same) Long ago, humans once had the power of what people know as "magic".  Since the death of the king, Don't know the name of the country yet lol was left behind to his twin offspring.  The twin sisters fought against each other over the country, and until one day, one twin succeeded in killing the other, and hiding her body to a place where no one would ever see again.  Since then, she heavily taxed the half of the country her late sister had ruled, so that the other half of the country would live in luxury.  Not until recently, the poor half of the country forged war against the wealthy, hoping to overthrow the government.

A/N: OK OK OK, I'm done with my advertisements.  Thanks for being patient and reading everything, unless you decided to skip all the way to the bottom, which you probably have.  Well, like all of those video games that have another ending after the credits (don't u hate that), there's an epilogue.  And for those of you that got impatient and just quit after reading the first two lines of my "advertisements", HAH, you miss out on the ending.  And for those of you that didn't, I hope you enjoyed the story so far and I hope that you liked the ending (It was obvious there was more since the scrollbar isn't on the bottom already, and I know you've been constantly staring at it the whole time).

Forever Blue – Epilogue

Yuko hurried to the detention room, hoping she wouldn't be late for her trash duty appointment.  She had almost forgotten about it until Saki reminded her.  She knew it would be hard returning to that room once again, but she had no choice, all she could do was make the best of it.

'Right on time.' She thought to herself, just making it into the room.  Her eyes wandered from wall to wall, observing the different people that were in there.  There was a mixed group in the classroom of the rebels and the honor students.  It was a fact that no matter who you were, you couldn't escape tardies.

She checked in and sat down in the seat furthest from the scary teacher that was hired to supervise them.

There were a few more people that had to arrive before the teacher began passing out the materials.  The routine was so familiar to her, since she's been there a few times before.

Yuko sighed, fiddling with her pencil.  All she could think of was going home, and eating ice cream.  Just then, one more person ran up the ramp, right before the teacher closed the door.

"You're late!" The teacher's naggy voice barked.  It sounded like a broken harmonica to Yuko.

"I'm sorry..." The boy apologized.  It happened frequently, so Yuko didn't pay attention.

The teacher browsed through the attendance sheet, looking for names that were unchecked, "Tao Lan?"

Suddenly, Yuko looked up.

The boy nodded.

"ID number?"

"932863"

"Sit down."

"Just anywhere?"

"Yes!  Hurry..." The teacher was getting impatient.

He did exactly what she told him to.

"No not ANYWHERE..." The teacher scanned the room, "Sit next to Yuko," Her hawk-like eyes shot straight to her, "Yuko, raise your hand."

Yuko didn't move.  She intended to raise her hand, but she was frozen.

Lan looked at her strangely, "That's alright, I know where she is."

The teacher rolled her eyes and walked towards the door to close it.

Yuko's eyes were fixed onto Lan, following him as he sat down into the seat next to him.

"You're... Yuko right?"

Yuko nodded, "I-I don't believe we've met..."

"Are you sure?"

"I'd think so..."

"Hmm... maybe you just look like someone I know.  Your face is awfully familiar.  I remember going somewhere with you before.  We went to see a horror movie, and after that, I took you to an arcade and we ate at a boba place.  I remember having a lot of fun with that person.  Are you sure it wasn't you?  I feel embarrassed now, I'm probably wrong, but I could've sworn I've seen you before."

Yuko smiled, "Nope, you haven't seen me before.  This is the first time we've met," she extended her hand out to him, "I'm Yuko."

A/N: Yep, that's the ACTUAL ending.  I hope you all liked the story.  And thanks for the reviews, you gave this story a good reputation ^_^.