How to write an argumentative war essay!




Don't worry; I'm not insulting them! I both read AND write them because I have no life!
But I noticed a few glaring similarities between them... I'm not making fun of the war or peoples opinions, it's just something that came across my mind.

WARNING: GROSSLY EXAGGERATED! I know they aren't this bad really! :)


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PRO-WAR


Firstly, state that your view is controversial.

Say that FP.net is full of liberals.

Imply subtle that these people are scum who don't know what they're talking about. (Example: "These people are scum who don't know what they're talking about!")

Waste a paragraph explaining why liberals are basically crap and pathetic, try to use the words 'woolly minded'.

Say some really obvious facts. "SADDAM is in IRAQ!!"

Quote some statistics or situations lazy people won't read.

Make references to the First World War.

Say how protesters are really violent, run around with machine guns, ect.

Compare Saddam to Hitler.



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ANTI-WAR

Firstly state that your view is controversial.

Say that FP.net is full of warmongers.

Imply subtly that these people are sociopathic hill-billies who don't know what they're talking about. (Example "These people are sociopathic hillbillies and they don't know what they're talking about!")

Waste a whole paragraph explaining why republicans are cruel and evil.

Repeatedly refer to Bush as 'Dubya'.

Quote some really long-winded heart felt explanation that lazy people won't bother reading.

Make references to Vietnam.

Make some tragic points about war.

And finally, compare Bush to Hitler.