"Hello?" "Hello, this is Mayor Skinny Bob Jones. I am calling from the lair of the ninja turtles to warn you of a potential bombing we may have at 9:36 pm! Please, pamper yourself with dynamite!" "W-what?! Are you serious?! " "Yes, citizen, I'm afraid I have never been serious in my life" "I-I I don't have a bomb shelter!" "Then I am sorry, you will die! Mep mep mep mep!" Jake hung up the phone and laughed hysterically, forever! His phone call pranks never got old to him, even if he had no legs. He would get the phone book, and flip to a random page, choose his victim, and ruthlessly slaughter a random member of his family, err I mean, make his call. His favorite prank was to call someone and tell them their order of 14 large pizzas was on the way, and then burn down their house. Jake had no life. I say HAD because of the frightful Saturday night that ended his ridiculous phone call pranks forever, and his life. On a bloody Saturday night, Jake was watching his favorite show, Candid Camera Of Death. He loved the pranks pulled on my unsuspecting people. He had every episode taped, and kept in his closet which he would watch every day religiously while masterb- After watching the show, Jake grabbed the phone book, and walked upstairs to his corpse filled room. He shut his door, and locked it. Jake set the book down on his bed, and flipped to a random page. The first name he saw was Jordan "The Machine" Cadaver. "What kind of last name is Cadaver?" Jake laughed for a while at the "funny" last name until he went into a coma. After his laugh, he proceeded to dial Cadaver's number, 123-4576. The phone ran 2 times, then moved to Germany and started a bakery. "Hello?" "Hello, sir, this is Pizza hut. Your order of 14 large Mexican people is on the way." Jake said while getting the can of gasoline ready." "I didn't order any Mexicans and IM NOT PAYIN ONE DIME FOR YOUR CRAP!" "But sir, you ordered it! You got to pay, Pizza Hut rule(s the world)" "I won't pay! You can eat those 14 Mexicans yourself, I'm not paying!" Mr. cadaver hung himself, err, hung up the phone angrily. Jake laughed hysterically, as usual. What he didn't know what that Mr. Cadaver was enraged at the phone call. A few mutes later Jake got a phone call. "Hello?" "WHO IS THIS?!" a man said while mooing like a cow. "um..Jake" "JAKE MOO?! " "J-Jake Stevens" "Do you work at pi(moo)zza hut Jake?!" "No sir I-" "THEN WHAT WAS THAT P(MOO)HONE CALL ALL ABOUT! HOW DARE YOU DISTURB ME!? YOU THINK THAT WAS FUNNY?! W(MOO)ELL YOU WON'T BE LAUGHING FOR LONG!" Jake yelped and burst into flames, I mean, tears. "What do I do?!" Jake locked all his doors, and windows, liquor cabinets, and got his broomstick. He also took karate for 3 months, so this guy should watch out! After 10 extremely worrisome minutes, Mr. Cadaver himself was at Jake's door dressed as the Easter Bunny. He softly knocked at the door with an oversized plastic carrot. Jake leaped from his bed, and slowly walked downstairs. He saw Mr. Cadaver standing at his front door, holding something. It looked like a duck! "Mr. Cadaver...please leave me alone!" Mr. Cadaver laughed while eating tuna. "Jake, you will pay the price for what you did to me. I can't afford 14 Mexicans, how could you do that to me?! I'm here to make sure you NEVER prank call again. EVER!!!" Mr. cadaver knocked Jakes front door down, and walked straight to Jakes room, ready for love, err, revenge. He then grabbed Jakes phone, threw it to the ground, and whammed it five times with his bat. Jake shrieked. "My phone!" Mr. Cadaver looked triumphantly at the smashed phone with a look of insanity in one eye and a look of satisfaction in the other. "My job here is done." he said while snorting cocaine. He fell down the stairs, ate Jakes sister Susan, and then walked out of the door. Jake never made a prank phone call again..that day. SCHWAHAHAHA!!