I bid greetings to whoever happens to be unfortunate enough to stumble upon this manuscript. Actually, the magnitude of any sort of kind nature deriving its origins from me would critically depend upon your intellectual stature. If I found you to be an utterly monotonous, senseless imbecile with no real merit to exist, I would be compelled, I must remorsefully admit, to annihilate you from the face of the earth and do the rest of my kin and yours a readily deserved favour. But, as I am not in custody of that specific knowledge of you, I suppose I had best welcome you nonetheless. So, once again, I greet thee. Now that I have explained my perception of you to the best of my uninformed ability, I suppose I had best familiarize you with myself, which could prove to be a challenging task, as I am not wholly intimate with me myself.

Although my previous statement may ring as somewhat odd to the average ear, it was the most liberal fashion with which to get my point across. But I presume I had best notify you of myself to the best of my capacity, which happens to be uncannily low. I, apparently, hold the hardly syllabic title of 'Alli,' according to the mindless mortals inhabiting this planet, daring to coexist with myself, though they most definitely possess evidently inferior intellect. If one wishes to complicate matters, which you mortals don't tend to be in approval of doing, then I am essentially 'Alexandra.' 'Alexandra Lynn Daly.' But no one I chance to meet with seems to desire yet another oral obstacle in their pointless lives, so, in turn, they butcher the slightly more novel name and warp it into the horribly demeaning and unharmonious Alli. They have dubbed me this discordant jumble of an excessive amount of vowels as they are most inept and are not in tenure of the astuteness to devise a more innovative, inspired label for me. So they choose to call me so, unaware of how I hold such spite for my dull, cacophonous alias. What further adds to the negligence of this name is the fact that it nearly coincides in sound with the word that finishes my complete title. Numerous humans have found great amusement at this fact, gaining pleasure from taunting me with phrases such as 'Alli Dally,' their bothersome, shrill giggling that ensues afterward stinging into my heightened mind like the tittering shrieks of a jagged nail upon the vile, powdered surface of that odd contraption, the blackboard. The creator of that apparatus must have had a blunt piece of his own chalk, the sibling to his invention, crammed into his brain, hindering all logical thought and resulting in such a ludicrous idea, though he could not have had much in the first place anyway, as he is human and does deserve some pardon for his futility.

But I am drifting from the main topic, as, I warn you, I am notorious for doing. Returning to the assignment at hand, I despise the word 'Alli,' which is scarcely entitled to be called a name, and esteem not to be referred to as such. In light of my preference, you may call me Idria, as I have resolved to christen myself. Do not query the derivation of this tag, as I do not own the justification to it either. In fact, do not interrogate me for any sort of validation on anything, because, though I may appear to you to be a of higher being of sorts, I am, in fact, a plain, lower essence with no divine ripostes to the great uncertainties all humans hold; I know of no supreme underlying principle. That is, unless 42 is an ample response for you. I highly doubt that it is. That, however, is the extent of my self-wisdom, disregarding petty facts such as outward appearance. You will be further educated on my persona as I venture further into the absolute horror and anguish that is my life. But I am not completely sure of what I am, who I am, or what my ultimate task is on this earth, so if you would please refrain from inquiring of my predicament, I would greatly appreciate it. I have discerned the fact that the simple human race has not achieved any sort of significant alteration to its level of comprehension since its dawn of subsistence, as it seems to equal that of a primordial chimpanzee, taking note of the single chimpanzee amounting to that of its entire people. This makes perfectly understandable logic, as the moronic collection is nothing more than a group of primitive, obtuse, genetically 'enhanced' monkeys, trundling through life with no real purpose until they grow old and perish from physical and mental inadequacy. They will never understand the enormity of my contempt and envy for their race, having the privilege of just dying. I find it so sickeningly ironic that they believe me to be one of their own. One of their own, indeed. When they have all deceased and been flung carelessly into the ground without a second thought from those they loved in life, perhaps then they will grasp the authenticity of my dissimilarity, how completely cut off from them I was. But I will never know for sure. For they, analogous to many mortals, merely do not ponder on such subjects as the reality those beings that possess preternatural life, for they have never once experienced the sheer torment of it in their pitiful survivals. I, however, will never see things, feel things, or recognize things like they do. Never. Never again. As you may have gathered, I am not one of them, or you, if you are presently occupying the form of a human as well. I would pity you intensely for that. I am a vampire, that is what I am told, or so, that is what my species was hailed as many millennia ago. This is my story, according to my observations...and mine alone. So be forewarned.

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