Act One

Scene two

Same diner, a few weeks later.  Man is sitting at table reading newspaper.

Woman enters dripping wet.  She wears a trench coat and carries a large tote bag.  She shakes her umbrella out and walks over to table.

Woman:  You must have been here early.

Man: Well I know how you hate to be kept waiting.  I've ordered us coffee.

Woman:  Good-- after a day like I've had today I need it pronto.  What're you reading today?  The New Age Journals?  (She sniggers and sits down)

Man:  Oh-you made a joke!  Not a great one, but nonetheless, it's a giant leap for your kind.  No, it's a just a regular, ordinary, non-mystical newspaper.

Woman:  Ah…you're being studious and concerned about your surroundings…that's a great leap for your kind.

Man:  I was just reading this article about the supposed war we're fighting currently.  The more I read about it, the angrier I get.  At the same time though there's something funny about the whole thing.  If you disregard the killing and destruction of course.

Woman (mockingly indulgent): Oh, but of course!  Pray tell what is the most humorous thing about the situation? (Coffee arrives and they nod their thanks)

Man:  Well I mean take the president for instance…They're calling him a "leader of men".  Him…a leader of men!  Hah!  The man doesn't know his budget from his elbow!  They even have a picture here of him rallying the proverbial troops…as if any sensible person would be able to surrender themselves to a wave of overpowering emotion spread by a complete MORON! (laughs)

Woman:  Don't you think the fact that he's the leader of the free world and chief of one of the biggest and certainly most powerful armies in the world points to a certain…je ne sais quoi….leadership on his part?

Man (adopting cheesy French accent):  Ah but eez easy to lead sheep, non?

Woman:  You're impossible.

Man: Seriously though, when people are scared and "patriotic" they're generally ready to hop on that gravy train to war.  And when media conglomerates control the flow of information, lessening their ability to make enlightened choices…well (shrugs)…how can they be anything but sheep?

Woman:  Baaaaah! (laughs and shakes head) God, you've changed.  Lately you're like a completely different person.  A few weeks ago you were humming "Bomb, Bomb Iraq" and now you're a conspiracy theorist?  That girl must have done a number on you.

Man:  What girl?

Woman:  WHAT girl?  The one who put the whammy on you!  The one that did some sort of Vulcan mind meld when you were walking here a few weeks ago…remember?  The one that had you floating on a cloud for days…that girl.

Man:  Oh, Celeste?  She just has a wonderful smile, that's all.  And for your information, I like "Bomb, Bomb Iraq" purely for it's satirical value.

Woman:  Celeste, is it?  So the benevolent force has a name.  Humph.  How'd you find out? 

Man:  Turns out she lives in my building.  I met her at the mailbox the other day—our mail got switched and after sorting it all out we went coffee.

Woman:  I see.  That's lovely for you. A strange coincidence…in a lovely sort of way I suppose.  Really, I'm glad.  You've been too much alone since Sheila.

Man:  Yeah.  She's having a great influence on me too.  We share our thoughts and feelings. (Smiles)

Woman:  Oh, do you?  Well…(looks around, and focuses on clock) Oh, I just remembered I have to…be somewhere.

Man:  But you just got here!

Woman:  Yes, I'm sorry…I double-booked.  I apologize for this but it really can't be avoided.  I'll see you…later.

Man: Well, at least let me pay for a cab.  It's soaking wet out there.

Woman:  No, I'll be fine.  I'm not going far.  Thanks for the coffee.  (rushes out)

Man (stymied and hurt):  She has got to stop doing that.