Jesus, He Hears Me When I Sing

Once, when I was really lonely and feeling bad, a good friend said to me;
"Jesus is with you, and He knows how you are feeling!"

To that, I say: Bullshit.

Apparently, he understands everything we are going through, but how can he, when he has never experienced any of it himself?

He's never been in love.
Never had sex.
Never felt so bad he cut himself.
Never attempted suicide.

When his friend Lazarus died, sure he cried. But then he brought him back to life again. He never had to live each day missing his friend, wishing he could see him one last time.

He's never had to have faith in anything. He IS God. God is his father, an extension of himself. He had God with him every step of the way.

Yet when I cry out for God, where is he?

Jesus already knew his fate, and although it can't have been very nice to think about, at least he had no worries about the future. He KNEW he was going to end up back in heaven with his daddy. Each day for me, is a constant reminder that I am not as good as Jesus, and that at this rate, I won't even make it into heaven.

"But Jesus knows how you feel."

How can he, when he knew he would end up back with God, no matter what?

I appreciate what an amazing guy Jesus must have been. I love Jesus. I really do. I just don't think he could possibly know how I feel.

Was he there when I slit my wrists?
How about when I starve myself to collapsing point?
What about when my 'friend' tried to rape me? Yeah, you heard.

And when I asked him why it happened, he didn't answer.
Because he doesn't really know.