Spare the rod, spoil the child? If you asked a Christian fanatic this, or someone who grew up with corporal punishment in their life, they would say yes. To those of us who think this is horrible, and a form of mind control to make children fear discipline and follow all orders, we say a stern no.

Throughout time, the relationship between a parent and their offspring was crucial for the child's growth and well being. Love and the knowledge of right from wrong was what was required of their little ones, though all parents attempt to attain this goal and some extra ones in different ways. Spanking is a word everyone has heard, and some have experienced.

I believe a child should be raised with hugs, love, and cuddles, not a rod. There are so many out there that would hit their child without looking to alternatives, or even try to reason on talk with their own child. They're not impassable walls, you can speak with them and get a reply. I myself have been raised under caring hands, though I will admit I recieved a good few swats when I was quite little. It's really a part of your early childhood, but it should be a very small and very rare part.

The thought of having children of my own makes me ever so happy. I yearn to have kids of my own, from the bottom of my heart. The last thing I would ever want to do to them is cause them pain, as I'd rather play with them and love them. Although, I have accepted the fact that I have a 'role' to play. A duty of a sort, to make sure my kids are kind to everyone and don't cause all hell. I personally reserve spanking as an absolute last resort, and done under specific circumstances, and for the most wrong of doings. As their father, I would want to be as loving as one could be, almost like a mother. I want nothing more then to have happy and intelligent children to call my own, while I watch and help them grow up. It's just an acceptance, to know that though you love dearly, that you also have to ground them and do those other things too.

The art of spanking has been under severe debate the past long while, being supported by many things and debunked by many others. All throughout time, children were punished by the inflicting of pain, whether it was by an object or a human hand. The switching was one of the first spankings ever invented, whipping their kids to be obidient way back into the BC's. Further through time, corporal punishment grew and new methods of punishing kids and even adults had come into play. Public whippings or floggings of women and even children in some areas of the world, and all kids were expected to be raised in the strictest of homes. Punishments even grew into cruel and inhumane, usualy dealing with religion and chastisment. During the victorian era, enemas were used as horrid punishment tools, and when the victim had all near half dozen administered, they were strapped onto a 'riding horse'. A male would be caned, and a female would recieve the strap. Masturbation was the worst crimes, and was delt with stinging discipline, and more often then not, applied to the genitals, male or female. After this time, discipline didn't exactly de-evolve, but instead just changed. Punishments upon the back, legs, and hands were still used, and publicly too. Students bent over a desk infront of the class and punished bare below the waist while others watched mockingly. Within our current times, spanking is a parental responcibility, and has finally been taken away from schools and other institutions, though some parents still choose to use such harsh tactics used in the past. They believe a strict upbringing is the only way to keep your child always repsectful and unrebellious. Isn't this a form of mind control however?

Many children have a rod, or a belt used on them, basicly because thats how the parent was raised or because the bible says a child needs to be punished with the rod's sting to save them. Kids don't need such strict live anymore, not in this day and age. A good parent with loving hands can do just as well, and actually better then a good parent with hands used for punishment. Yet, some still think that corporal punishment is the best way to raise a child, and I strongly disagree. I read a story on the net once, about a real account by the author. She was in her room, listening to an audiotape with a headset, and her mother came in going off about how she had been calling her. The girl appologized and explained she had been listening to music and could not hear, but her mother told her she would be spanked after dinner. So, while the family was still at the table, the mother took her into the kitchen nearby, bared her below the waist, and bent her over the counter and spanked her with a spoon. She really didn't do anything wrong, and her mother left welts upon her thighs, spanking her for about ten minutes (Spanking the thigh leaves a very nasty reminder when a child sits down). This woman actually said she appreciated her mother's discipline, and she turned out great. I disagree to that. If you write about an encounter you had and admit to 'liking' spankings, isn't there something wrong somewhere?

I will admit, spanking does have a small place in being a parent, but it is very delicate. It is a last resort if he or she keeps doing something very bad, or does something incredibly outrageous. Other things need to be tried first, and that is most importantly speaking with the child. They do listen, they have ears. Spanking is not a violent act of hitting, but a reminder about consequenses. Never 'hit' your child, or punish out of anger. If you can't control your temper, don't even attempt to spank him or her. Hitting isn't the term I will be using, for that is not the goal or the point. This is something for a young age, when they might be going astray, and nothing else has worked. You retire the child to the privacy of their own room, and first, talk with them. If the child doesn't understand why he or she is about to have happen what is about to occur, you will cause more harm then good. With words said, you place the child over your lap and do your thing, which neither of you want to do. If he or she tries to fight or struggle when to try to begin, they don't fully accept it, so you'd sit them up on your lap and cuddle them close and convey the reasons for this, and that they earned it. If you spank just to give a child their "just desserts", you have proven no point and have made no progress, other then the fact you just hurt your child. You spank once they don't wish to struggle, and accept every swat as the punishment for what they did. Never swat for force, but just a slapping sting, as violence is out of the question. You can't restrain or hold down the child by any means, and that would also brake the purpose of them coming to terms that they have committed a 'spankable' act. Once you're done, you can leave him or her over your lap if they're young and comfort them, or leave for a bit if they're older, so that they have time to privately cry and compose themselves. A brief time before and after allows them to contemplate what they did, and see for themselves that it was wrong. When you take them to their room is the before time, and the after the spanking is the after time. Don't make them wait in their room for you, as that is cruel, imposing fear and anxiety like that, and you're making it a harsh ordeal to the child instead of a 'loving punishment'. Afterwards, you tell the child how much you love them and your reasons for doing that, giving them a hug and showing how much you care. After an older one has composed his or her self, you can come back and do this, or if you've done a perfect job, the child will come to you. The point of this is to get the idea across that what they did was wrong and merits such a punishment, but you love them all the same. Since they accepted the punishment and recieved forgiveness, they have grown a bit and are highly unlikely to do that horrible act again. Not because of being punished, but because they have actually realized it was wrong.

As for the area of implements, never ever strike your child with anything other then the palm of your hand, as this is cruel and hurtful. How anyone could stomach lashing their own child is far beyond me. If you insist on using something, use a simple device like a ruler. It's far less harsher then a paddle, and doesn't cause bruising or painful marks like a switch. Flat and thin so it stings like hell, but also humane, though using anything at all is sort of mean. Thanks to extensive research in the field of corporal punishment, I have developed my system of handling it that is far more loving, and the punishment isn't actually the point. Making the child sorry for doing it is one thing, but actually showing the child his or her's wrong doing and ACTUALLY making he or she sorry for doing it, that they would appologize for what they did and understand it was wrong.

All children make mistakes, but I will also admit some children are far worse then others. Just this morning, while I was researching this subject and getting angry at all the Christians that whip their kids with switches and tell them god wants them to, I heard the sound of a small child being mauled outside. I got up from my desk and looked out the window to find the two neighbor children fighting, and the boy stomping away. He had beat the crap out of his little seven year old sister to the point of bawling, and left her in the wet and muddy grass. Even though I hate them both, it pained me to see a brother do that to his sister when he was supposed to protect her. Something horrible like that merits a spanking, for I think if he believes he can cause her hurt and make her cry, someone can make him cry too. It's only fair afterall. Many disagree that such 'violence' cannot be used to tell a child not to hit, but I don't agree with that. It's completely different, and with the method I invented, it's not violent anyway.

There are so many alternatives to discipline, swatting your child these days should be a last resort. I believe strongly that a child can be raised perfectly with love, and I hope I never have to lay my hand upon them, as I'd much rather play with them and help them grow. THAT is my job, not being a disciplinarian. I don't exactly condone any corporal punishment, but I leave my system open if I ever have to use it. If I do my job right, I shouldn't have to. For all the parents out there, remember this, your love and words can have as much of an effect as a stinging rod. Correcting your child is one thing, but lashing and spanking them is another. Just show them that you care, and that punishments aren't just there for their pain or your anger venting.

As a future father, I say love, and not swats...and hopefully other children across the world will have the wonderful parenting and painless lives as my own will.