in the lonelyembraceof the nighta voice popsinto my head.

This is the most serious poem I've ever written, hence the R rating. It could be easily converted into a song, I have a tune half-thought out, but I'm putting it in poetry for now.

This poem deals with self-mulitation, or simply cutting. This is not a happy subject. This is not a nice subject. I, personally, do not and never will cut myself. I have friends who have and who continue to cut themselves. I am scared to death by the topic.

Please, if you hurt yourself like this, get help. There are people who care about you, no matter what's happened. If you want to talk, my e-mail address is [email protected]. I'll always be here.

My Secret
by Rb

in the lonely
embrace
of the night
a voice pops
into my head

...

"you're so alone
no one loves you
you're weird
you idiot
you're cruel
we all hate you."

...

it came to a
point
where i needed
to ...

...

"I'm cutting because
it takes away pain."


...

a lie, a lie,
a viscious cruel lie
but it got me through
the times when
pain was too much...
somehow.

...

dependent on it
all the time
my mind searches
for an answer
why why why?
i'm disgusted, but...

...

"I'm cutting because
it helps me."


...

i keep the razor
in a safe place
i don't want
anyone to know..
if my secret's out
i can't trust them...

...

"I'm cutting..."

...

months pass
without me noticing
drifting through the
moments
on butterfly wings
waiting for the time
when i can...
when i can...

...

"are you alright?"
why should you care
no one cares about
me
i'm all alone
you hate me, you
just pretend not to...
"yeah, i'm fine."

...

my life's so gone
why do i bother
brushing through the
moments
like the flower petals
of a thorny rose

...

please help me
but i can't ask,
i can't bother anyone
i'm too worthless
don't touch me!
i'm not worth...
it...

...

"I'm cutting to kill now."