Chapter 23

Can you believe this? I was pregnant. My test was positive after only one insemination.

It made me happier as I thought this was really my destiny.

But then, It made me sadder as I thought about Luke, the imminent of the divorce.

But the worst thing was when I thought about everything that would come in the next nine months and after that.

And I was occasionally afraid of doing it all alone.

One night after I'd made a phone call to Sam and Megan and told them my news, I was holding my phone, considering calling Luke and telling him about the divorce and my decision, the phone rang.

I pressed the button.


"Hello, Jul. It's me...Luke."

I was frozen.

For a minute, there was a silence, then,

"I have some..." We both said at the very same time.

"You first." He said.

"No...You first."

He waited for me for a while then said, "I have something to talk to you."

That was a deal.


One hour later I was making my way to Laura Treed to have a talk with Luke.

When I came in, he was already there. He smiled and waved to me when he'd seen me stepped in.

"It's great to see you again." He said, helping me off with my coat.

"It's great too." I gave him a slight smile.

He went to order me a drink from the bartender as I was thinking how it was when I'd told him the entire story.

He was back with his drink and mine and there was a silence.


"So..." We said at same time again.

"You first." He said.

"Err...nothing." I shook my head. I was too chicken to tell him now.

"How long we've been separated?" He asked.

"About two and a half months." I retorted.

He reached to my hands and took them to his gently.

"Those time really mean a lot to me." He smiled. "I've realized that I do love you, Julia. Always and forever."

I said nothing, keeping looking at him.

"I now knew what is matter to me, Jul." He paused and looked deeply into my eyes. "What is matter to me is you. Your happiness."

The tears sprang in my eyes; I was working out what he was exactly saying.

"I'm ready to start my happy family with you, Jul." He went on slowly but firmly and sweetly. "Living with you, loving you and... having a child with you."

Those words took my breath away. The big lump rose into my throat.

'Oh my god, why he hadn't told me before?'

'Why he have to tell me this time?'

'This time when I'd already made a big wrong move.'

I looked at him through my blur eyes, couldn't say anything. Then I covered my face with my hands and sobbed my heart out.

Luke got up from his chairs, came toward me.

"Jul, did I do something wrong?" He put his arm around me. "Don't cry, honey." He soothed me.

"No....No, Luke." I sobbed. "It's me."

He rocked me tenderly as I went on. "Luke...I'm...." This was really hard to tell him. "I'm pregnant." I said quietly, sobbingly.

An intense silence

Luke was speechless as though he was figuring out what he should say.

And I do nothing but crying my heart out.

It took him for a moment to finally say something.

"It's great." He said. "That's mean we already have our happy family."

"Luke," I cried. It took me that long to control myself and tell him what exactly was going on.

"This is not your child. This is a child that I don't know what does its father look like - that I don't even know its father in personal."

Luke said nothing, keeping rocking my trembling body.

"Sperm donor bank." I said.

It took a moment or two for the words to register.

"It's alright." He eventually said.

"Luke,..." I cried and he covered my mouth with his fingers.

"Shhh..." He hushed me. "Remember these words?"

I looked at him as he continued.

"I can't change what's over but only what I'll do. I will never look back and let the past destroy me. I will live my life to the full in my present and I will look forward to my future with hope and anticipation." He gave his tender smile, the kindest smile I'd ever seen in my life. "I'll forget all my bad past, Jul, and start my hopeful life with you."

"Oh, Luke." I cried, turned to him and tighten my arms around him as the joy of happiness, the joy of being - so - much - loved overwhelmed me.

"I do love you, Jul, always and forever." He put the words to my ears, softly, firmly and sweetly.

"I do love you, Luke." I echoed him and closed my eyes happily. All these years I had been searching for I actually even knew not what. Now at this very moment, my search was over. I had found this faceless, nameless thing that had eluded me for so long. And it was exactly right in front of me.

***THE END***

///Author's note :///

***Dedicate to those who searching for something in their life - that somehow they don't know what it really is - and still have their faith.***


A worm can roll a stone.

A bee can sting a bear.

A fly can fly around Versailles,

'Cause flies don't care.

A sparrow in a hat can make a happy home.

A flea can bite a bottom of the Pope in Rome.

***If you wanna do something, just try and make it happen.***



Thank you, God above, for getting me through my second story.

To Nonki who'd encouraged me to write this story and supports me constantly. Very thank you to you.

To my readers and reviewers, I really appreciated your kind and thank you.

To May, thanks for reading this and your good wishes to me. I know you want to help me with this story but have no time. I understand it.

To Sai, thank you for being my very best friend. I love you so.

To A, I love love love love you so. No matter what.

To all my friends who are still putting up with me.

And especially to my wonderful family who give me so much love and support.