How To Skip Class
Skipping class and getting away clean is an art form not all can master. Indeed, few can even come close to mastery of this difficult and ever-more challenging feat. With teachers becoming more aware and with students divulging more information, new and better ways of staying out of the classroom and out of trouble are absolutely vital to the survival of this art. Learning how to effectively and skilfully skip a class and get away with it is not easy. It takes time and much trial and error to become proficient in this particular field. I cannot claim to be an expert, though I have had years of experience in both the specific act of skipping and the more general act of "supply and procurement"; the latter, sadly, I am not at liberty to discuss. I am currently under contract, and therefore operational secrecy is paramount. I can, however, provide a very basic outline that can start any aspiring student down the path toward mastery of this very useful skill.
First and foremost, knowledge of terrain must be obtained. This may require several days' worth of careful reconnaissance. The ability to mentally map out various avenues of travel is of extreme importance. It would not do to become confused when moving in a hurry from possible detainment by staff. It is, therefore, important to have adequate working knowledge of the terrain that can be very helpful when the need for concealment arises. Additionally, being familiar with the layout of the area can prevent undesired contact with faculty or staff. For example, knowing the location of the student-use bathrooms in relation to certain access points of the school has proven beneficial to many, serving as a handy excuse for one being in the hallway during class time. Conversely, it is a good idea to know where the staff bathrooms and lounges are. It certainly would not do to be passing one of these and have the teacher of the class you're skipping emerge. It is also a good idea to avoid the general area around that particular class, both indoors and out. Many have been caught for this seemingly harmless action. Knowing where and where not to go during a certain period of time is essential to success.
Plain, inconspicious attire is also vital. Wearing bright, obvious colours and designs is almost certain to lead to detainment and subsequently, punishment. Acting in this fashion does not build a favourable view, either with students or even the faculty. Some sense of appropriate dress cannot be shunned. Obtaining various articles of the current fashion can prove to be the difference between getting away and getting caught. Being able to pass yourself off as someone else travelling to another class is highly useful. When the teacher does not know you're walking past them inside of attending their class, it's a good thing. Likewise, avoiding loud and obnoxious behaviour is advisable. Unless drawing attention away from a fellow miscreant, this is not an action to undertake when seeking to keep from being noticed. It is wise to observe the crowds that will help mask your presence in between periods. Knowing the schedules of certain people may help in avoiding discovery. Ducking into a classroom with a friend, even briefly, can help elude undesired attention. With this knowledge, it can be remarkably easy to simply vanish when pursuit is undertaken.
Maintain a high level of alertness without appearing to. Controlling visible emotions and body language is so very important. To be successful, you must learn to cultivate a relaxed, confident air and demeanor that belies your wariness. Allowing others to see how nervous or tense you are, for any reason, is a sure way to get caught. I would suggest practising and improving natural acting skills if they exist – a good "stage face" can get you out of many sticky situations when employed properly. Subsequently, having a story or two handy as to why you're out in the hall instead of in class is highly beneficial. Others who practise this will advise you likewise. When you look like you know where you're going and don't show any signs of uncertainty, staff tend to overlook you.
Avoid creating a pattern of behaviour. Leaving behind a trail that can be predicated is one of the leading causes of detainment and punishment among those who think they know what they're doing. Admittedly, it is difficult to not fall into a pattern. Staying unpredictable requires effort and thought, which often is more than most feel like doing. If you skip the same class more than two days in a row within a period of a week, you're creating a pattern that the administration will pick up on. Additionally, consistently remaining in the same location for those periods skipped increases the risk. Should the nurse's clinic be used as an excuse for more than one day, do not sign the log for both days. Or, as a diversionary tactic, write down a time that is past. Make it seem as though you were there during an earlier period. This throws off any who review the logs and can cause your absence from class to be overlooked. This tactic has worked for me in the past, but I would recommend using it sparingly. Overuse of this method leads to a pattern of behaviour. Also, don't let the teacher of the class you're skipping see you while you are skipping. This would seem to be common sense, but it is a common mistake to think that teachers remain in their classrooms all period. Whenever possible, vary the classes skipped and the days on which you choose to skip. Don't give the administration anything to go on – if they can't prove it, they can't do anything.
Depending on the situation, it may be advisable to make a venture off-campus during the period being skipped. Being off grounds effectively eliminates the risk of accidental discovery. Be wary, however, of leaving and returning. Staff have been known to watch for anyone who might have sneaked off-campus for whatever reason. Getting caught for leaving grounds carries a more serious punishment than merely skipping class. Use this method sparingly. It's the most difficult and most risky.
This essay in no way will provide you with all the insight you'll need to be successful. Some things will need to be learned through application, and often through mistakes. At some point or another, you will be caught. It's inevitable. You can't get good at anything without making mistakes first. Becoming proficient requires time, effort, and determination. You can't beat the administration by being sloppy. I take pride in what I do, because I know how to do it. There's a certain amount of professionalism that comes with being capable at something. Those who are the most skilled at what they do tend not to discuss the finer points of their trade to the less-experienced. As you become better at giving the administration fits, the impulse to share information with others will grow as well. Maintain a measure of silence. The less the faculty and administration know, the less they can do to impede operations. This applies not only to skipping classes, but a multitude of activities as well. Less than legal activities that so many students know of. Above all else, protect the trade.