"Tra la la," I hummed on a boring Monday night, while settling on my sofa to watch Friends reruns. Friends seems to have a calming effect on me, and combined with a hodgepodge dinner of sushi, Starbucks, and baklava, I was one happy camper at the moment.
But all good things come to an end, right? The end arrived at my apartment at precisely 6:03 Hawaii Standard Time and it came in the form of my sister, Dana.
She barged into the living room, planted herself right in front of the TV and stood there as if waiting for me to say something to her. I finally rolled my eyes and caved in.
"What do you want?" I growled. I was missing a good episode. This was one of my favorite episodes. How often do you get to see a guy with a giant turkey stuck on his head?
"We're having a party!" she announced gleefully. "Oh, sorry," she paused, thinking of the right words, "We're having a social gathering at our home."
She looked pretty darn pleased with herself. I was just trying to figure out how I was related to her. It was too bad I looked just like her, making I could go brunette.
So I sat there, sure that she was kidding, but knowing deep down she wasn't. Best to just leave it like I didn't hear, maybe it would make her disappear. Problem was, that we were already to the first commercial and I had missed the better part of the show.
"Get out from in front of the TV," I said in a monotone.
"Okie dokie, but you better get ready. Everybody's gonna be here soon," she said in a sing song voice as she bounced off to my closet.
I sighed. I looked around at my clean apartment. I sighed again. Then I gave into the inevitable. At least she'd warned me this time. But later she would learn the full length of my wrath. Maybe I'd even ask her for rent money.
I waved goodbye to my peaceful night of watching Joey try to eat an entire turkey and pulled myself off the couch and into my bedroom.
On my bed one of Dana's satin tank tops was laid out and a pair of my designer jeans. I raised my eyebrows. Is that supposed to be a hint as to how I dress?
But tonight was a night for concessions. So I put it on, really, what did I have that was any better? I sat on my bed and waited.
I didn't know what I was waiting for. Life, I guess. I had a feeling that I had been waiting for life to start for a long time, waiting to get out of the rut I found myself in. Maybe this prodding from Dana is what I needed. Maybe it was time to have friends again.
The doorbell rang at ten o'clock and I realized I had been sitting on my bed the entire time. I still had my hair in the rat's nest of a ponytail on the top of my head, and not a stitch of makeup on. I hurriedly slashed some goop on my eyes and flattened out my hair. I checked the mirror, I was passable.
When I exited my bedroom the party was already getting started with at least thirty people squished into my small apartment.
"What the hell?" I said to myself.
I made my way to the kitchen to find that somebody had dragged two huge tin tubs full of ice in and filled in with various potent alcohols. If they had scratched my wooden floors I would've had a hissy fit and thrown a few of the bottles.
My poison of choice that night was vodka. I wasn't screwing around here. It was time to have a social life again, and if I had to be drunk to do it, so be it.
I didn't waste time with a cup, and just chugged the bottle, occasionally gagging. (very uncool) The music was playing some raunchy grinding song and I joined the crowd that was dispersed through my home.
"Hey, there she is!" Chase yelled. "Ali, I didn't think you had it in you to have an actual party."
"Yeah, well, what can I say? I'm such a party animal." Obviously the vodka hadn't kicked in yet. I took another pull from the bottle and did a little dance coughing.
"Hey, you okay?" Chase asked, putting his hand on my back, "Maybe you should slow down."
"No way in hell, I do intend to have some fun tonight, even if I do it while I'm totally pissed."
Chase raised his eyebrows. He knew he couldn't stop me. In fact, maybe he didn't want to. Maybe he thought I was more fun as a drunk. He stepped away, and I took another swig of vodka. For some reason I don't think that straight out of the bottle is the way you're supposed to drink it.
I finished off the bottle and plunged into the crowd of gyrating bodies. I ended up grinding with some guy at my back. His hands were holding my hips and pulling me close. I wasn't quite sure who he was. It was a weird situation to be in. I didn't want to turn around and insult him, but I needed to know if he was ugly or not. I know, I'm shallow.
So finally I did what I hope was a sexy move, and turned my head a little to see I was grinding with Chase. And Chase seemed to be enjoying it a little too much.
"What are you doing?" I yelled over the music.
"I'm dancing, what are you doing?"
"Get away from me you loser," I yelled.
Chase laughed and nuzzled my neck a little. "I've missed the old Ali, are you back?"
Obviously in the time I hadn't seen Chase he had somehow consumed a large amount of alcohol and gotten incredibly drunk.
I shoved him away and made my way to my small terrace were someone had brought a life-size inflatable man who was very…aroused.
I ran straight into Matt, who was standing on the opposite side of the terrace from the man.
He ignored me at first, probably miffed about me leaving him cold the other night.
But I didn't care. It might've just been the vodka, or maybe I'm just crazy. I got right up in his space, or whole bodies contacted. And I gave him what I imagined in my drunken state to be the best kiss of his life.
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