Today's Special
Butcher Calvin was known for his delicious and scrumptious polish sausage. People would rush in from all over the world just to taste his famous sausage and congratulate him in person. But there was another story to Calvin's sausage on why it tasted so good unlike any other sausage.
Calvin Bernard was a round, chubby, greedy, self-centered pig as a child. If he wanted something then he was going to get it one way or another. If he didn't get what he wanted, then he would cry day and night until it was successfully in his reach. As Calvin got older, he developed ways on how to get his way easier. He developed techniques on how to steal when the human eye wasn't watching and how to persuade one into giving him something. At the age of nineteen, he married a fat woman with stringy, brown hair and round, brown eyes. Her thighs were the size of three cow heads and her arms weighed one hundred pounds each. Everyday she covered herself in cooking grease, claiming that it gave her skin an attractive shine and aroused her pores.
One morning, Calvin woke up to a voice whispering in his ear. It was like a soft wind blowing slowly in his ear, giving him directions.
"Kill.her., she.wants.your.money." It whispered softly in his hairy, wax-filled ear. Calvin's eyes grew wide and he got out of bed quickly, staring down at the fat blob that he called his wife. She turned over and grunted the word "Money.". Calvin gasped and his eyes grew red with fury. The voices were right. All she wanted was his money. So he grabbed a baseball bat and cracked it violently over her head. She stopped snoring and fell limp on the bed. He grabbed her outrageously large arms and dragged her into his butcher shop below their apartment. He dragged her to the back room where the rusted, meat grinder stood. He dropped her on a cart and got the meat grinder going to warm it up. She stirred and woke up, looking dizzily around the room.
"Calvin.what's happening? Where am I? Calvin what're you doing?" She asked, horrified. He pushed the cart and rammed it into the meat grinder, bouncing her into the jaws of the grinding blades. Blood splashed on the wall, exposing her guts and intestines.
He sat there for about an hour, watching the meat grinder struggle to grind her bones. All he could see was good meat just waiting to be turned into a new version of polish sausage. But what others might have saw was a dirty, cold killer wasting away his life using human flesh as his main and secret ingredient.
When her bones and flesh were finally done grinding, he made them into sausage and packaged them up for selling.
"Gather round ladies and gentlemen! Today's special is the new and improved polish sausage like you've never tasted it before! Free samples right here!" Calvin shouted. Now since his wife was so darn fat, she had made enough to eat and sell for about a year. When a year was up, he would go searching for another victim.
Customers gathered around the glass plates, swooping off the pieces of sausage off of the wooden toothpicks. A wave of "mmm's" and "yum's" swept thought the crowd as they bit into the sausage. The human flesh sausage became the new smash hit and no other butcher was able to match up to his sausage, no matter how many animals they butchered.
Village food inspectors started to get suspicious on how this meat had tasted like no other sausage. They frequently questioned Calvin and when they asked where his wife had gone he would comfortably answer "She left me for some rich chap with a good job and lot's of money". The inspectors nodded considerably, but still suspected that his wife had something to do with the meat.
Two years later, two more people had gone missing since Calvin's wife; a local banker and a waitress from the local Taco Bell, who were both last seen at Calvin's butchery and both very wide and pudgy. Folks around town started to get suspicious also and most of them stopped eating at the butchery.
One day, a tall, thin man walked into Calvin's Butchery and ordered a pound of his fine, ground sausage. The man sat down and started to eat it. As he dug through the sausage with his fork, he hit something hard and dug through the meat to get it out. It was a human tooth, an adult front tooth, settled in the meat. He quickly ran up to Calvin and questioned why it was there. Calvin started to get nervous and sweat beaded down his face.
"Um.see.that's very explainable.I.uh.I lost a tooth while I was grinding the meat." He smiled weakly. The thin man ran out of the butchery carrying the tooth and reported him at the police station. Calvin was taken away to jail for the rest of his life for first degree murder. The town of Shady Creek and the world was never able to taste Butcher Calvin's fine ground sausage ever again.
Butcher Calvin was known for his delicious and scrumptious polish sausage. People would rush in from all over the world just to taste his famous sausage and congratulate him in person. But there was another story to Calvin's sausage on why it tasted so good unlike any other sausage.
Calvin Bernard was a round, chubby, greedy, self-centered pig as a child. If he wanted something then he was going to get it one way or another. If he didn't get what he wanted, then he would cry day and night until it was successfully in his reach. As Calvin got older, he developed ways on how to get his way easier. He developed techniques on how to steal when the human eye wasn't watching and how to persuade one into giving him something. At the age of nineteen, he married a fat woman with stringy, brown hair and round, brown eyes. Her thighs were the size of three cow heads and her arms weighed one hundred pounds each. Everyday she covered herself in cooking grease, claiming that it gave her skin an attractive shine and aroused her pores.
One morning, Calvin woke up to a voice whispering in his ear. It was like a soft wind blowing slowly in his ear, giving him directions.
"Kill.her., she.wants.your.money." It whispered softly in his hairy, wax-filled ear. Calvin's eyes grew wide and he got out of bed quickly, staring down at the fat blob that he called his wife. She turned over and grunted the word "Money.". Calvin gasped and his eyes grew red with fury. The voices were right. All she wanted was his money. So he grabbed a baseball bat and cracked it violently over her head. She stopped snoring and fell limp on the bed. He grabbed her outrageously large arms and dragged her into his butcher shop below their apartment. He dragged her to the back room where the rusted, meat grinder stood. He dropped her on a cart and got the meat grinder going to warm it up. She stirred and woke up, looking dizzily around the room.
"Calvin.what's happening? Where am I? Calvin what're you doing?" She asked, horrified. He pushed the cart and rammed it into the meat grinder, bouncing her into the jaws of the grinding blades. Blood splashed on the wall, exposing her guts and intestines.
He sat there for about an hour, watching the meat grinder struggle to grind her bones. All he could see was good meat just waiting to be turned into a new version of polish sausage. But what others might have saw was a dirty, cold killer wasting away his life using human flesh as his main and secret ingredient.
When her bones and flesh were finally done grinding, he made them into sausage and packaged them up for selling.
"Gather round ladies and gentlemen! Today's special is the new and improved polish sausage like you've never tasted it before! Free samples right here!" Calvin shouted. Now since his wife was so darn fat, she had made enough to eat and sell for about a year. When a year was up, he would go searching for another victim.
Customers gathered around the glass plates, swooping off the pieces of sausage off of the wooden toothpicks. A wave of "mmm's" and "yum's" swept thought the crowd as they bit into the sausage. The human flesh sausage became the new smash hit and no other butcher was able to match up to his sausage, no matter how many animals they butchered.
Village food inspectors started to get suspicious on how this meat had tasted like no other sausage. They frequently questioned Calvin and when they asked where his wife had gone he would comfortably answer "She left me for some rich chap with a good job and lot's of money". The inspectors nodded considerably, but still suspected that his wife had something to do with the meat.
Two years later, two more people had gone missing since Calvin's wife; a local banker and a waitress from the local Taco Bell, who were both last seen at Calvin's butchery and both very wide and pudgy. Folks around town started to get suspicious also and most of them stopped eating at the butchery.
One day, a tall, thin man walked into Calvin's Butchery and ordered a pound of his fine, ground sausage. The man sat down and started to eat it. As he dug through the sausage with his fork, he hit something hard and dug through the meat to get it out. It was a human tooth, an adult front tooth, settled in the meat. He quickly ran up to Calvin and questioned why it was there. Calvin started to get nervous and sweat beaded down his face.
"Um.see.that's very explainable.I.uh.I lost a tooth while I was grinding the meat." He smiled weakly. The thin man ran out of the butchery carrying the tooth and reported him at the police station. Calvin was taken away to jail for the rest of his life for first degree murder. The town of Shady Creek and the world was never able to taste Butcher Calvin's fine ground sausage ever again.