The Adventures of Tofu Man and his Sidekick Kalamari

In the kitchen world, only one piece of food stands above them all to save the food civilization from being cooked. His name: TOFU MAN. Oh yeah, there's also his sidekick Kalamari but he sucks, so just forget about him. TODAY'S EPISODE: DINNER FOR TWO It was typical day in the kitchen of That Japanese Place. Tofu Man stood on the top shelf of the pantry watching in horror as one of his friends was being cooked. " Nooooo!" Kalamari stopped Tofu from attacking the chef. " Leaping lizards Tofu man, if you would've jumped that evil chef would've cooked you for sure." " Yes, I guess you're right, Kalamari. I just hate watching innocent fish being broiled." Just then, a waiter stepped into the kitchen. " We got a dinner for two. Kalamari Special with Tofu on the side." " Dear God, Kalamari, that's us!" The chef walked into the pantry. " Now, Tofu Man, you shall finally be made into the fine meal you were created for. MUHAHAHAHAHA!" " We'll see about that!" BAM! Tofu Man slapped the chef. " Take this!" The chef shouted. WAP! Tofu Man was thrown across the room. " Smashing pumpkins! Tofu Man's been crushed against the wall! You won't get away with that, evil chef guy!" SLAP! Kalamari hit the evil chef with his soggy tentacle. " Ninjas, attack!" Evil Chef Guy shouted. Out of no where a bunch of cooks appeared wielding spatulas, knives, and pans. " Ummmm...Oh shit Tofu Man, we're surrounded!" " Don't worry, Kalamari. I have these!" Tofu Man pulled out several packets of hot mustard. SQUEEZE! He shot the hot mustard into the ninjas' eyes. " My ninjas! Noo!" Evil Chef Guy grabbed a knife and a spatula. He took a fighting stance. " Haha. I am much better at fighting than my ninjas are." " Let's go, Evil Chef Guy." BAM! SMACK! BIFF! PUNCH! Evil Chef Guy threw the knife at Kalamari. It hit the sidekick in the tentacle. " Kalamari! Now you die!" Tofu Man jumped at Evil Chef Guy. CRASH! BOOM! OUCHIES! Finally, Evil Chef Guy was knocked out. Tofu Man went over to Kalamari. " Are you okay, my friend?" " Squid on a stick, Tofu Man! I think I'm going to die." " Don't talk like that. You're Kalamari and you.......do stuff!" " Thanks, Tofu Man. I feel better already." SPLAT!! Kalamari was splattered all over the wall by a 12 Gauge Shotgun blast from Evil Chef Guy. " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Cried Tofu Man. " MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Tofu Man jumped at Evil Chef Guy only to be scewered on a fork. Evil Chef Guy scraped Kalamari into a pot and began cooking. CRACKLE! SIZZLE! THE END!