Really sad….

Wrong Solution

By: Inigma

I raised the dagger in my hand,

Knowing that this was my last stand.

I glanced at the note upon my desk,

My expression a stoic mask.

I could see my own words of "Good-bye,"

My last written lines saying why I had to die.

It was useless; I could live like this no more,

Not that I had ever liked my life before.

As I raised the dagger higher still,

I felt as though I would be ill.

After all, this was the last time I would breathe.

That I would stand here in the breeze,

But, all my pains would be gone as well,

I would end up in Heaven, possibly Hell.

I would no longer suffer the ironies of life.

The last thing I'd remember would be this freaking knife.

I watched the sun glint off the blade,

Casting light into the shade.

I moved my lips in silent prayer,

As I felt the wind blow about my hair.

Is this what it's like to die?

I wondered.

I didn't utter a cry,

As I plunged the knife deep into my heart.

As I saw the blood start to fall away,

I slowly began to sway.

I collapsed to the floor in unbearable pain,

Realizing now that what I've just done is insane.

I try to scream, but feel my strength fade.

I realize the mistake that I have made.

I'm sorry, mom, I didn't mean to give up.

I should never have gone to that club.

Why couldn't I have found another way?

Now for my stupidity, people will pay.

I'm dying now, I'm getting weaker.

I'm just so sorry I didn't think quicker,

I wish you were here, mom, I will so alone.

All is quiet now, I can hear myself moan.

My mind is fading; I can see my own blood,

The pain is gone now, death is so odd.

I'll just say 'I'm sorry,' I don't have much time,

I'll tell you the truth, mom, what I did was no crime.

I did something stupid, mom, and I feel so bad.

It was such a surprise when he told me I had.

I was shocked, I was stunned, mom, I wished I could die.

I just felt so dirty, mom, and, yet I'm still alive.

I'm dying, I know, but I can't feel the pain,

I just try to focus, mom, to keep myself sane.

I'm sorry, mom, I didn't mean to drink.

I didn't mean to be stupid; I didn't mean not to think.

In my rage, and my desperate attempt to fight,

I've realized I've taken more than one life tonight.

I hope you'll forgive me, mom, so that I can too,

Just know that I loved you, mom, and always will, too.