She flashes her lightening smile

And tells me I'm as nervous as ever

I feel like a stray cat

Begging for titbits from her plate

Just wanting more

Which is probably how you made her feel

Repairs, you said

Restorations, space to move

I'd best start on the major problem then

Because I still love you

And I'm not sure I ever stopped

Even when I…


Even then

Even when she stood on your doorstep crying?

That raw pain you could feel so badly

Knowing you'd gone

Hurting because you'd never bothered to tell her you were giving up

And starting anew

Even then?

It's an implacable self hatred

I don't think you've forgotten

Yet you seek me out and you want to speak to me

But I cannot forgive myself

Starting anew? Like hell

I was running away

Couldn't face admitting I was still a child at eighteen

Couldn't find the words to tell you we both were

And that inborn stubbornness kept saying

No pain, no gain

Somehow I don't think I've gained much

We go like lemmings

To our respective fates

Both blind followers

Who have ceased to need to follow the other

So on the handing over of the keys and the payment of the bill

We'll make this transaction complete.

Did I say I ceased to need you before?

I lied…