The quittin' whistle blew, and I hopped up from my desk. "Yabba dabba doo!" I shouted, then dove through the window, slid down a handrail, flew off toward my car window, hit the hood of my car, bounced, hit the pavement, rolled, and landed bleeding on the pavement.

Before I knew it, there was a large crowd gathered around me. They were all saying things like "Wow, I work down the hall from him," "Jeez, Dave musta had a hell of a fall," and "Who is that? Does he work here?". Try as I might, I couldn't get up. I couldn't move a muscle, not even to speak.

That's when I saw this blue Honda drive up. Suddenly, the pain was gone, and I could move. Effortlessly, I stood, with absolutely no reaction from the crowd. This was curious. They were all still staring at the spot where I used to be laying. Odd. I looked at the Honda, and noticed that its passenger door had opened. I looked from the unchanging coworkers to the small car, and finally resolved to walk to it. As I neared it, a man poked his head out.

"Are you coming or what!?" he shouted testily.

"What?" I was quite confused.

"I don't have time for this! Just get in!"

"But. I have a car. I don't need-"

"Come on, don't you get it!? You're dead!"


"Yeah. Lemme see here, how'd you die." the man dug around in the back of the car, finally drawing out a clipboard. He flipped through it, stopping on a specific page. He read it, and began to chuckle. "Oh man! You are such a bonehead!"

"It's not funny! That's my death you're laughing at!"

"Sorry. With this job, ya tend to develop a morbid sense of humor. Just get in, I got a schedule to keep."

"Are. . . are you death?"

"I'm Death for this zone. There are several thousand Deaths working around the world. We can't be everywhere at once, ya know."

"So they can't see you?"

"Nope. Can't see you either. Just your body laying over there."

"I don't see my body!"

"Of course you don't. You're brain can only comprehend one version of yourself at a time, so it's blocked your corpse out. Believe me, it's there. Now get in, I'm already late."

Reluctantly, I climbed into the passenger's seat and closed the door. Death stepped on the gas and we took off.

"This was a lot harder a hundred years ago," Death muttered, "had to use a horse and buggy. Hell of a hassle."

I didn't feel like making idle chit chat. I had a lot to think about. After all, I'd just died. "So," I spoke after a long silence, "am I gonna go to Heaven?"

"Yeah, real soon. But first I got some more post mortems to pick up."


"Other people who have just died. You didn't think I'd made this trip just for you, did you? That'd take forever. Ya gotta carpool to the afterlife. Got two more souls to take."

He steered into a small suburban neighborhood and stopped in front of a house, where a man was working in the front lawn with a power saw. "Well," Death muttered, "I guess I was running a bit earlier than I thought. Just gotta wait."

I'll spare you the details of the accident that occurred with the saw seconds later. The man fell to the ground, then in much the way I did, got up and looked around. Death stepped out of the car, talked to him for a minute, then led him into the back seat. He was silent as we drove off again.

A few minutes later, we pulled up to a retirement home. There was parked an identical blue Honda. "Oh damn it," Death murmered, stepping out. As he shut the car door, another man the same build as Death exited the building, an old lady following in his wake.

"Number Four Seventy Three, what are you doing!? I'm supposed to take her!" Death shouted.

"She was on my schedule too." The second man replied calmly, "Apparently there was some confusion. Don't worry, I got her, you just take your load up."

Death took his seat again, grumbling a bit, and restarted the engine.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Another Death, the one in the neighboring zone. That retirement home was built on the zone border, so there's always been some dispute about who takes the dead ones. He's such a smug jerk." He hit the gas and we were off again.

The Honda moved quickly down the highway, until we reached an exit that I'd never seen before, on which there was a sign which read "H472."

"I don't remember that exit," I said as he steered the car into it.

"No mortal can see it or drive on it. This is your path to heaven."

A sense of great awe overpowered me as the road took a sharp turn upward. A great white light filled my senses, almost blinding me. Death drove calmly and unshakingly toward the light as it got brigher and brighter. I heard a deep voice, saying over and over the same few words.

"Come, sons and daughters. Come."