Joe Bob, the Exalted Janitor, the villain

Tiffany Evening, the ditsy high school student

Clay Adamson, the quiet high school kid


(it is a bright day at Eden High School, and classes are over for the day. TIFFANY and CLAY are heading down towards the Teacher's Lounge to see if the history teacher is there)

TIFFANY: Like, I have a question about the founding of Eden High, you know? So I thought, like, maybe the history teacher would know! See?

CLAY: *not really paying attention* Yeah.

TIFFANY: There's the Lounge! We have to stay outside though, right? 'Cause students aren't supposed to be there.

(As they wait outside, some one walks by. They both look and see that it's JOE BOB, the Exalted Janitor of Eden, one of the highest on the staff, very respected man)

JOE BOB: Why hello there. *smile* Why are you two waiting here?

TIFFANY: Oh, like, I'm waiting for the history teacher. Do you know if he's in there? I, like, you know, have a question for him.

JOE BOB: You know... I know a better way to find the answer to your question.

TIFFANY: Really?

JOE BOB: Do you know what it is?

TIFFANY: *long pause, thinking* Like, a book?

JOE BOB: Ugh. *slaps his own forehead* *mutters to himself* Why the Principle lets in airheads like this, I'll never figure out. *forces a smile at TIFFANY* Why, no, little one. But there's something in there that will give you all the answers.

TIFFANY: Oh, you mean the history teacher is in there?

JOE BOB: *loudly* NO! The fruit, you blonde, the fruit!

TIFFANY: *eyes widen* Fruit? Oh, like, from the Teachers' fruit basket? Oh don't be silly. The Princaple said we can't even go into the lounge, much less eat from the fruit basket!

JOE BOB: Oh, did he really say that? *grin* You know, it's the key to the wisdom of the teachers. If you eat of it, you'll be just as smart as they are.

TIFFANY: Hey, I'm smart! Like, my B and C average is fine! Isn't it, Clay?


JOE BOB: Oh, don't be stupid! You should be getting straight A's! It's the teachers' fault you know. They're holding back, they want you to be stupid! It's what the Princible's plan is, to keep you ignorant. But if you eat the fruit, you'll be as smart as they are, as the Principle!

TIFFANY: Oh... *frowning* Well, that's a pretty good argument, you know. I would like to be as smart as they are! And, like, I could graduate earlier and everything... *determined* Okay! I'll do it!

JOE BOB: *smirk* I knew you would see it my way. *opens the lounge door* It's empty. Go on, the fruit basket is on the center table.

TIFFANY: *grabs CLAY by the hand and bounces in* Oh, like, there it is! *picks up an apple* Well, here goes. Goodbye Eden High School, hello college! *happily takes a bite from the apple* Like, I feel smarter already! Here, Clay, take a bite!

CLAY: *frowning* I don't know, Tiffany...

TIFFANY: Oh come on! We can graduate together! We'll both be, like, as smart as the teachers! Go on, just a little bite!

CLAY: Oh, okay. *takes a bite*

(just then, the Principle walks up to the door. Panicked, TIFFANY and CLAY hide behind a chair, knowing very well that what they just did was wrong)

PRINCIPLE: *sees the apple on the table* Why... who's behind that chair?

(TIFFANY and CLAY peek out sheepishly)

PRINCIPLE: Tiffany, Clay? Why are you hiding from me? *frowns, points to the apple* Did you eat of the fruit I commanded that you shouldn't? Why did you do this?

CLAY: *scared, points to TIFFANY* She made me do it!

TIFFANY: *scared, points to JOE BOB* The janitor tricked me! He, like, made me do it, you know? Yeah!

PRINCIPLE: *blinks, looks at all three in turn* *sighs heavily* I don't understand why you have done this. I have no strict rules in Eden High, but I did not want you to eat this fruit! I'm afraid I must expell you both. You will no longer be allowed to even go into Eden High School. As for you *turns to JOE BOB* You too will be punished, Exalted Janitor. From now on you will no longer be exalted, and your position as janitor will now be a lowly position, a position for only the uneducated dirt-crawling scumbags. Or at least you'll be an uneducated dirt-crawling scumbag. With an ugly uniform too.

JOE BOB: Ugly uniform?! Aww, man...

(as CLAY and TIFFANY walk away)

TIFFANY: *sniff* Hmph! Serves him RIGHT!

CLAY: You mean the Exalted thing?

TIFFANY: *huff* Uh, no, duh. The ugly uniform! Talk about proper punishment. Expellment, fine, but ugly clothes? Thank the Princible I didn't have to do that!