Pain

Sometimes I think the pain is not there. But it still is. No one will ever heal my pain. No matter how many physicists my parents take me too. I will hate Wheaton forever. It is the core of my pain. Mommy, Daddy, did you see me cry in South Dakota? No, only once. The time when I learned we were moving to hell. Hell, you tell me not to say that. Well, I am. Hell is the place were I live. The place where people look at me like an insect. Leave me alone with my books. They give me the comfort I need. No need for the idiots of hell. I can be who I am without them around. No scrutinizing eyes. Just me and my thoughts. No one else's' thoughts. Only mine. I want to be alone. In my world. Darkness is comforting to me. If I am in it everyone leaves me be. But sometimes not. I rather die than live in hell. That is why I take the darkness. So peaceful, just lying here in pitch black the only light a sliver of moonlight. Tick tock. Time is passing. Time will tell. Time will tell if I stay in darkness. Someone wants me out but I stay. Curled up in a fetal position. I like it this way. I will keep you guessing. I won't tell you my secrets. You have to guess. But I don't trust you. Hard for me to trust. My trust has been broken too many times by the idiots of hell. It is their fault. I could be happy and care-free. But they stepped in the way. Why are you still here? I don't want to tell you anything. My heart is my heart. I won't tell you anything. Leave me be. I will sing and dance to myself. You can't watch. My secrets. Everything about me is my own. Leave me be. Leave me be in my pain. You say I am insane. I say you are. I can at least be myself. You; you are just a puppet. People control you by your strings. You let them know too much. You are a child's toy. They only wanted to play with your mind. They played with my mind. I won't let them in anymore. You are still controlled. You don't want to break your strings. You are afraid of rejection. Well, welcome to my world! Cut the strings. Be yourself. They are only the idiots of hell. They want to fool you. For you to follow them. I have only one thing to say: Welcome to my world, puppet.