previously unreleased

"esse est percipi",
to exist is to be perceived;
yet what is there to be seen,
the real me obscured by this supervisory routine,
a place where I am free, only in dream.
reality. these heavy chains, like barbed wire,
restricting my every move, a wall of purifying fire,
what is there to purify? why is it so wrong?
to dance and kiss and serenade with song,
even with skewed sexuality, does that make it any less strong?
to be hated and despised,
for that reason, I remain disguised,
hidden among the flock,
afraid to let you find me, to find the key to my lock.
a wolf in sheep's clothing. imagine the shock!
what is left to exist, what is left to live?
if you knew the truth, the sin that you'd never forgive.
and so with this fa├žade I hide my heart away,
hoping that I may, perhaps someday, find the right way,
but for now, despair and sorrow shall dissipate with the sun's ray.
and so it came to pass,
I showed someone the side of this little lass,
whose greatest secret, her largest fear for acceptance,
and betrayed her trust, her heart you did lance,
she thought that you were different
she showed you a side that was kept from sight,
only to you, was this brought to light
why? for you were 'family',
and like the one before, disowned her for this reason only,
you said, "why fall from grace, to something so lowly?"
with new found sorrow, she recoils into fantasy,
trapped in a new cage, devoid of all humanity.
who could love a freak like me?
perhaps that side can stay hidden, we did agree,
i'd go on living, while slowly disappearing she would be.
you don't get it at all do you? (you homophobe.)
you've won.