Follow up On Would you care?
I'm writing this strickly on impulse. Strickedly. I'm home from college for the weekend, and bogged down with work.
Quark 6 can be such a drag. But strangely enough, I'm waiting online for my boyfriend to show up on AIM. Funny. Because I
just read this poem again.
Let me tell you something. I have a new guy now, and the fact that I wrote this poem now seems alien. Alien and
awkward that I would ever consider writing a poem like that to a guy. But I did, and it makes me ashamed.
See, that relationship, the one I had before, the 'poem' relationship, turned abusive. Shortly after I wrote that poem, as
a matter of fact. Go back and re-read that poem, if you don't remember the words. Wasn't I love sick? That's why I didn't
see it coming, and I never fought back. That's also why I guess my stories are all about lost love, and being cynical. Some
people, when they hear about abusive relationships, they wonder why they don't just leave. Well, it's hard, for one thing,
especially if you were how I was.
I can't go into detail about what took place, it's still too painful for me to recall. I still cry about it, I still can't believe
that was me back there, but it was. The only thing I really regret is not fighting back, hitting him when he kidney punched me.
Sure, it would have made things worse, but atleast I know I would have tried. I was in a daze back then, and I didn't realize
how dangerous the relationship was until I was out of it. I was mentally, physically, and sexually abused.
So what's the point of my babbling? (Long pause) It's not pity, it's not for reviews, it's letting off steam. Though I still
get too choked up to tell my current boyfriend what happened, the anonymity here allows me to blow off a little steam. I just
hope, if you reading this, were in or are currently in, a relationship, please get out. Me personally, I had to wait to go to college
to leave. Breaking up with him while we still lived in the same town was too dangerous, because he could come find me.
Leaving for a big college hours away let me be free. Sure, I still get short of breath whenever I see a red probe, worried it's
him, but little by little the fear is leaving me.
I'm slowly recovering. I still cringe if my boyfriend even sounds remotely mad, and I don't really wrestle well, I just
kinda curl up in a ball. My confidence was shot, totally, but my current sweetie is helping me. Come to think of it, the one time
I had a blonde moment, and I fell into the wall, he cried, worried I was hurt. I'm lucky to have someone there to help me. So
if you need someone to talk to, even if it seems stupid and you need someone to listen, IM me at KyeAthena, or email at
[email protected]. I would love to help someone, so they don't make the same mistake I made by staying.
I'm writing this strickly on impulse. Strickedly. I'm home from college for the weekend, and bogged down with work.
Quark 6 can be such a drag. But strangely enough, I'm waiting online for my boyfriend to show up on AIM. Funny. Because I
just read this poem again.
Let me tell you something. I have a new guy now, and the fact that I wrote this poem now seems alien. Alien and
awkward that I would ever consider writing a poem like that to a guy. But I did, and it makes me ashamed.
See, that relationship, the one I had before, the 'poem' relationship, turned abusive. Shortly after I wrote that poem, as
a matter of fact. Go back and re-read that poem, if you don't remember the words. Wasn't I love sick? That's why I didn't
see it coming, and I never fought back. That's also why I guess my stories are all about lost love, and being cynical. Some
people, when they hear about abusive relationships, they wonder why they don't just leave. Well, it's hard, for one thing,
especially if you were how I was.
I can't go into detail about what took place, it's still too painful for me to recall. I still cry about it, I still can't believe
that was me back there, but it was. The only thing I really regret is not fighting back, hitting him when he kidney punched me.
Sure, it would have made things worse, but atleast I know I would have tried. I was in a daze back then, and I didn't realize
how dangerous the relationship was until I was out of it. I was mentally, physically, and sexually abused.
So what's the point of my babbling? (Long pause) It's not pity, it's not for reviews, it's letting off steam. Though I still
get too choked up to tell my current boyfriend what happened, the anonymity here allows me to blow off a little steam. I just
hope, if you reading this, were in or are currently in, a relationship, please get out. Me personally, I had to wait to go to college
to leave. Breaking up with him while we still lived in the same town was too dangerous, because he could come find me.
Leaving for a big college hours away let me be free. Sure, I still get short of breath whenever I see a red probe, worried it's
him, but little by little the fear is leaving me.
I'm slowly recovering. I still cringe if my boyfriend even sounds remotely mad, and I don't really wrestle well, I just
kinda curl up in a ball. My confidence was shot, totally, but my current sweetie is helping me. Come to think of it, the one time
I had a blonde moment, and I fell into the wall, he cried, worried I was hurt. I'm lucky to have someone there to help me. So
if you need someone to talk to, even if it seems stupid and you need someone to listen, IM me at KyeAthena, or email at
[email protected]. I would love to help someone, so they don't make the same mistake I made by staying.