Coyote and Roadrunner: A Political Analysis

Everyone is familiar with the old Warner Bros. show, featuring two desert animals, a coyote and a roadrunner. If not, you should be. For those who don't know,the two animals are natural enemies and the coyote, Wile E. Coyote to be exact, spends a good amount of his time (sometimes up to twelve hours a day, if there happens to be a Coyote vs. Roadrunner marathon on television) chasing a large meep'ing bird. Specifically, Roadrunner. Now, the relationship between these two is quite complex, yet can be summed up in two words plus a contraction: capitalism vs. socialism.

Bear with me, here! You see, Coyote (whose name incidentally' begins in C'), is symbolic of the capitalist system of economics, while Roadrunner (whose name doesn't begin with S' but something quite similar), is symbolic of socialism. Coyote invests in corporations (most notably ACME) and is clearly showing us a functional consumer-market system.

Roadrunner, on the other hand, seems to flout every imaginable law of physics and reason. He runs through the solid walls Coyote (being an innovative capitalist) has painted like a tunnel in hope of capturing him. He successfully eats dynamited birdseed (a good example of how socialists tend to mooch off good capitalists-- they eat their dynamited birdseed, i.e. borrow their capital)(and never end up returning it-- do you know how FAST a bird's digestive system is?).

So what is the point of this symbolism, you ask? WHY is roadrunner, a socialist, enemy of the American people as a whole (who elected G.W. Bush) (though there is some controversy over this) always winning? Why can't COYOTE win occasionally? Is ACME corporation that much of a hollow corporation, like Enron? Well, maybe. We don't know if there's a stock market in cartoon-land. We bet there is, though-- the stock market is everywhere these days, even in small impoverished Eastern nations.

But this has not answered our question, which is, why does the bad guy always win? Perhaps it's because capitalism is a truly inefficient system, but we would rather not think that, frankly. So let's look at the facts. Roadrunner cheats, lies, steals dynamited birdseed and runs WAY too fast to be human (well, he isn't). Coyote, on the other hand, tries to trick Roadrunner HONESTLY, without flouting the laws of nature or economics. He just wants to make a killing, like any good capitalist. Whereas Roadrunner... well, he wants to stay alive by mooching off of Coyote! He's a cheating socialist! Kind of like Sweden! Only his economy is a lot less sluggish.

Okay, so Coyote= capitalism= the good guys. Roadrunner= socialism= the moochers. And Warner Bros.= an evil anti-American socialist-promoting... er, corporation. Which incidentally is in debt! Which just goes to show us the general inefficiency of socialism.

Well, that clears THAT up! Now who wants to come take over Warner Bros. with me? Anyone? I don't see anyone... how about taking over Sweden? Do you KNOW how much money they owe us? Neither do I, but I bet it's a lot. Seriously, though, we should think about making Warner Bros. change their show. All this socialism-promoting has to be bad for the nation's youth, not to mention the morale of the ENTIRE USA! An I getting through to anyone? No?

Well, it looks like I'll have to go on this campaign myself. Alone. What do I need? Well, I think I'll start out by borrowing some capital from my mother.