This is a story that pokes fun at your typical fantasy genre, from the
'excessive capital letters' (In the Mystical Land of Something, there was
much Chaos and Evil!) to the slender protagonists and collectable magic
crystals.
It is meant to be a parody and is not meant to offend anyone. This may be continued, depending on how many reviews I get for my efforts (wink wink).
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Prologue: The Introduction That Overstayed Its Welcome
In a mystical faraway universe called The Vaguely Red World (most people just called it Red World, but it wasn't really; more of a sort of burgundy color, hence the name) was a mystical land called Ta'alia. It lay east of the Cavernous Mountains of M'garo and south of the Mysterious Forest of Aber'omel, north of the Sparkling Sea of D'Moria and just a little to the west of Some Place With A Name That Has A Lot Of Apostrophes In It. And, somewhere in the Middle was the Kingdom of Ashraid.
The King and Queen's name weren't important; was was important was that they had a five-year old son, who was known as Fahramere the Seeker (his parents called him Eric the Ever-Lovin' Bobo Bean, but as I said, his parents aren't relevant. Only the beautiful young people are).
There was also, in Red World, a great deal of stuff about a) Five Gods and b) some Mystical Artifacts and c) The Dark Coming and d) a Prophecy that all sounded very interesting; but because gods seemingly have trouble making themselves apparent to human beings, all this was put down as The Forgotten Legend.
Of course, only a handful of people ever remembered or believed this sort of thing; the King and Queen, and most of Ashraid, were not among those people. Therefore, when c), The Dark Coming, actually CAME, the King and Queen were slaughtered in the process. Only goes to show that it pays to listen to your prophetic advisors, for the Ashraidian Oracle had pretty much seen it coming.
The Oracle had 'seen' that the evils of the neighboring kingdom, Kandomia, would soon come to take over the Peaceful Land of Ta'alia and turn it into, for no apparent reason, the Not-So-Peaceful Land of Ta'alia (c). This had now happened and had resulted in a lot of unnecessary Chaos, Evil and Destruction, which the Oracle had avoided by quietly sneaking off to the Other Mysterious Forest of Wynmyndynfyrn after the King and Queen had ignored her warnings. But she had also seen something else, something that concerned Fahramere the Seeker (and a Girl, too, but that comes later).
It also involved Pre-requisite Fantasy Story factors a), b) and d), if you were paying attention to what those were, but all that would have to wait until they found e), which was suitably titled in layman's terms:
The Chosen One.
It is meant to be a parody and is not meant to offend anyone. This may be continued, depending on how many reviews I get for my efforts (wink wink).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prologue: The Introduction That Overstayed Its Welcome
In a mystical faraway universe called The Vaguely Red World (most people just called it Red World, but it wasn't really; more of a sort of burgundy color, hence the name) was a mystical land called Ta'alia. It lay east of the Cavernous Mountains of M'garo and south of the Mysterious Forest of Aber'omel, north of the Sparkling Sea of D'Moria and just a little to the west of Some Place With A Name That Has A Lot Of Apostrophes In It. And, somewhere in the Middle was the Kingdom of Ashraid.
The King and Queen's name weren't important; was was important was that they had a five-year old son, who was known as Fahramere the Seeker (his parents called him Eric the Ever-Lovin' Bobo Bean, but as I said, his parents aren't relevant. Only the beautiful young people are).
There was also, in Red World, a great deal of stuff about a) Five Gods and b) some Mystical Artifacts and c) The Dark Coming and d) a Prophecy that all sounded very interesting; but because gods seemingly have trouble making themselves apparent to human beings, all this was put down as The Forgotten Legend.
Of course, only a handful of people ever remembered or believed this sort of thing; the King and Queen, and most of Ashraid, were not among those people. Therefore, when c), The Dark Coming, actually CAME, the King and Queen were slaughtered in the process. Only goes to show that it pays to listen to your prophetic advisors, for the Ashraidian Oracle had pretty much seen it coming.
The Oracle had 'seen' that the evils of the neighboring kingdom, Kandomia, would soon come to take over the Peaceful Land of Ta'alia and turn it into, for no apparent reason, the Not-So-Peaceful Land of Ta'alia (c). This had now happened and had resulted in a lot of unnecessary Chaos, Evil and Destruction, which the Oracle had avoided by quietly sneaking off to the Other Mysterious Forest of Wynmyndynfyrn after the King and Queen had ignored her warnings. But she had also seen something else, something that concerned Fahramere the Seeker (and a Girl, too, but that comes later).
It also involved Pre-requisite Fantasy Story factors a), b) and d), if you were paying attention to what those were, but all that would have to wait until they found e), which was suitably titled in layman's terms:
The Chosen One.