"When nothing is right
No longer a perfect life
No longer the American dream
When everything goes wrong
Crashes down at one time
No sign of a warning
Nothing is worth it anymore."
I wrote and wrote but no words gave my feelings justice. My emotions were indescribable to everyone but myself. I cried as I scribbled out words and wrote down even more, trying to manage writing a poem.
I couldn't think straight though. I remember it second for second. and it played over and over in my mind as I wrote words on the paper.
*Flashback*
"Mommy, can I go to Miranda's?" Jason asked.
"Did her dad or mom say it was okay?"
"Yea her daddy. He's waiting for me and said he'll walk me over there and Miranda is waiting in the house."
"Come home in a half hour, okay? If you don't know when that is, tell Miranda's dad that I said to be home in a half hour. Will you do that for mommy?"
"Yes." Jason said. He gave me a hug and smiled.
"Be good, okay?" I said.
"Kay." He said, skipping out of the room. I watched him run down the two flights of stairs to the main door to the apartment and then run up to Miranda's dad, whose back was to our apartment. Faces weren't clear because of the height and distance, but I faintly saw Mirandas dad grab Jasons hand and walk towards Mirandas apartment. I turned away when they were close.
Jimmy wasn't home yet. He had called a few minutes telling me he would be home in a half hour or so and that it was a busy day at the body shop. I was making dinner, spaghetti, Jason's favorite, while listening to music from the living room cd player.
Once the noodles were boiling, I sat down at the table and grabbed the stack of applications from atop the refrigerator. "Time for me to get serious," I thought to myself, while filing out the applications. "Time for a real job." I wrote carefully on them, contemplating each answer carefully before filing it out. "I need to go back to school," I said out loud. Little did I know, Jimmy walked into the room just as I said it.
"I'd support you in that decision," my head shot up.
"Babe?" He walked over and kissed my head. "Would you?"
"Of course. I'd do anything you asked me too." We talked about going back to school for a few minutes when the subject changed.
"Where is Jason? Havent heard him yet."
I looked down at my watch. "Oh shit, Jason is at Miranda's house. He was supposed to be home ten minutes ago and we have to ear dinner soon. I'm gonna go get him. Will you finish making dinner?" I asked.
"As you wish. Hurry back, I cant live without you too long."
I smiled. "Okay," I said and then walked out of the door. I walked a couple hundred yards to Miranda's apartment. I knocked on their door and they let me in.
"It's time for Jason to come home now." I said to Miranda, who answered the door.
"Jason?" she asked. I nodded. "He was never here."
It hit me all then. The suspicious way that Miranda wasn't there when Jason and Miranda's dad walked to their apartment. The baggy pants. The tanned skin. The dark brown hair. The dark tinted sunglasses that hide his profile.
"Okay hunny, thanks, see you soon," I said to Miranda and then ran out of the apartment.
Tears came out then and there. I was so scared. It hadn't been Miranda's dad at all. The physique was all too familiar. A figure I knew, a figure I became scared of, especially recently.
Kyle's figure.
No sign of a warning
Nothing is worth it anymore."
I wrote and wrote but no words gave my feelings justice. My emotions were indescribable to everyone but myself. I cried as I scribbled out words and wrote down even more, trying to manage writing a poem.
I couldn't think straight though. I remember it second for second. and it played over and over in my mind as I wrote words on the paper.
*Flashback*
"Mommy, can I go to Miranda's?" Jason asked.
"Did her dad or mom say it was okay?"
"Yea her daddy. He's waiting for me and said he'll walk me over there and Miranda is waiting in the house."
"Come home in a half hour, okay? If you don't know when that is, tell Miranda's dad that I said to be home in a half hour. Will you do that for mommy?"
"Yes." Jason said. He gave me a hug and smiled.
"Be good, okay?" I said.
"Kay." He said, skipping out of the room. I watched him run down the two flights of stairs to the main door to the apartment and then run up to Miranda's dad, whose back was to our apartment. Faces weren't clear because of the height and distance, but I faintly saw Mirandas dad grab Jasons hand and walk towards Mirandas apartment. I turned away when they were close.
Jimmy wasn't home yet. He had called a few minutes telling me he would be home in a half hour or so and that it was a busy day at the body shop. I was making dinner, spaghetti, Jason's favorite, while listening to music from the living room cd player.
Once the noodles were boiling, I sat down at the table and grabbed the stack of applications from atop the refrigerator. "Time for me to get serious," I thought to myself, while filing out the applications. "Time for a real job." I wrote carefully on them, contemplating each answer carefully before filing it out. "I need to go back to school," I said out loud. Little did I know, Jimmy walked into the room just as I said it.
"I'd support you in that decision," my head shot up.
"Babe?" He walked over and kissed my head. "Would you?"
"Of course. I'd do anything you asked me too." We talked about going back to school for a few minutes when the subject changed.
"Where is Jason? Havent heard him yet."
I looked down at my watch. "Oh shit, Jason is at Miranda's house. He was supposed to be home ten minutes ago and we have to ear dinner soon. I'm gonna go get him. Will you finish making dinner?" I asked.
"As you wish. Hurry back, I cant live without you too long."
I smiled. "Okay," I said and then walked out of the door. I walked a couple hundred yards to Miranda's apartment. I knocked on their door and they let me in.
"It's time for Jason to come home now." I said to Miranda, who answered the door.
"Jason?" she asked. I nodded. "He was never here."
It hit me all then. The suspicious way that Miranda wasn't there when Jason and Miranda's dad walked to their apartment. The baggy pants. The tanned skin. The dark brown hair. The dark tinted sunglasses that hide his profile.
"Okay hunny, thanks, see you soon," I said to Miranda and then ran out of the apartment.
Tears came out then and there. I was so scared. It hadn't been Miranda's dad at all. The physique was all too familiar. A figure I knew, a figure I became scared of, especially recently.
Kyle's figure.