Endless Other Side
I walk this cold hall shivering,
pretending that my skin isn't so cold,
and ordering myself to do whatever I want.
Blame is a word that escapes me,
I learned to play a different song,
a tune of silence, and madness.
Summer seems endless, or just endlessly away.
Water dripped its thorny edges over me like waves to the beach,
I would have taken pain,
then to see you again.
I threw that boy away long ago,
he folded under my arms and fell through the gray cracks that line my bedroom.
"And the other?" I hear them say.
One abandoned me,
the other I abandoned.
I said I would never sleep after that,
I pretended that I was an angel who didn't need it.
All that's needed is to sit down and prey that he'll come home,
alive or dead,
it didn't matter.
Just back into my betrayed arms,
to feel something of myself again,
(I lost it all when he left)
his beauty still blinds me,
molding my flesh to fit inside the skin of another person that I create myself to play.
the rebel, as she swipes another tear away.
As her baggy clothes come on,
hoping to blur away inside my core.
I saw him again,
folding inside my broken arms,
beautiful, and forbidden,
lost on me,
is why I stayed,
when I was so alone.