Do you ever get tired of the coddling that children seem to have these
days? Are you weary of your child or grandchild complaining about how hard
they have it? Well, I have just the solution for you: the new "Hard-Knock"
series of books. Toughen them up with this selected reading material. Here
is a must-have guide to the bestsellers.
"You Were an Accident" Not only teaches a child to be grateful for the life his or her parents provided, but also teaches about the birds and the bees. Amazing!
"Strangers Have the Best Candy" Little Jimmy knew his baby teeth would fall out anyway so he always ate lots of candy. He didn't think one more piece from a stranger would matter. Strange though, baby teeth don't usually dissolve . . .
"Some Kittens Can Fly" Want to teach your child about physics? Get a head start on making him a miniature Einstein and see if Fluffy always lands on her feet.
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face" Encourage your child's creativity by turning him or her into a living work of art. (Disclaimer: Not responsible for cannibalism.)
"Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her" Don't want to see your child end up in a juvenile detention center? See what happens when Katy's mom takes pre-emptive measures and withholds affection until Katy learns to behave.
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer. Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" You'll never know in which direction this book will go! Great for short attention spans. (No-Squirm Child Leash® not included.)
"All Dogs Go To Hell" Brainwashed by media swill? Now your child will have no doubt where Rover goes for biting the mailman one too many times.
"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking" Need to get somewhere but low on funds? Show your son or daughter the value of free transportation. Diagrams include proper angle at which the thumb should be held, and what to do if the farm animals you're riding with start to revolt.
"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?" Learn why Ms. Electrical Outlet must always be separate from Mr. Fork, and especially from the evil Sir Water. Experimenting with the power of electricity can prove to be invaluable in this book.
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry" Little Susie's father was tired of all of the whining going on around the house, so he drowned his sorrows in alcohol. Follow his adventures when he wakes up!
"You Are Different and That's Bad" Do you want to be distinctive? Find out why it's better to blend in with a crowd than to attract attention. Learn to be unique, just like everybody else.
"Why God Burned Down Disney Land" Ever get those seemingly unanswerable questions, like why Mickey Mouse had to go to that big mouse hole in the sky? Here are the answers. They should satisfy even the most persistent questioners. M - I - C - ( See ya later) K - E - Y (Why? Buy the book and find out) M - O - U - S - E
This is choice reading material for your young learners. Order today!
(Disclaimer: Phony book titles taken from various internet sources, author unknown. Descriptions are purely original.)
"You Were an Accident" Not only teaches a child to be grateful for the life his or her parents provided, but also teaches about the birds and the bees. Amazing!
"Strangers Have the Best Candy" Little Jimmy knew his baby teeth would fall out anyway so he always ate lots of candy. He didn't think one more piece from a stranger would matter. Strange though, baby teeth don't usually dissolve . . .
"Some Kittens Can Fly" Want to teach your child about physics? Get a head start on making him a miniature Einstein and see if Fluffy always lands on her feet.
"Getting More Chocolate on Your Face" Encourage your child's creativity by turning him or her into a living work of art. (Disclaimer: Not responsible for cannibalism.)
"Katy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her" Don't want to see your child end up in a juvenile detention center? See what happens when Katy's mom takes pre-emptive measures and withholds affection until Katy learns to behave.
"The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North Amer. Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!" You'll never know in which direction this book will go! Great for short attention spans. (No-Squirm Child Leash® not included.)
"All Dogs Go To Hell" Brainwashed by media swill? Now your child will have no doubt where Rover goes for biting the mailman one too many times.
"The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking" Need to get somewhere but low on funds? Show your son or daughter the value of free transportation. Diagrams include proper angle at which the thumb should be held, and what to do if the farm animals you're riding with start to revolt.
"Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?" Learn why Ms. Electrical Outlet must always be separate from Mr. Fork, and especially from the evil Sir Water. Experimenting with the power of electricity can prove to be invaluable in this book.
"Daddy Drinks Because You Cry" Little Susie's father was tired of all of the whining going on around the house, so he drowned his sorrows in alcohol. Follow his adventures when he wakes up!
"You Are Different and That's Bad" Do you want to be distinctive? Find out why it's better to blend in with a crowd than to attract attention. Learn to be unique, just like everybody else.
"Why God Burned Down Disney Land" Ever get those seemingly unanswerable questions, like why Mickey Mouse had to go to that big mouse hole in the sky? Here are the answers. They should satisfy even the most persistent questioners. M - I - C - ( See ya later) K - E - Y (Why? Buy the book and find out) M - O - U - S - E
This is choice reading material for your young learners. Order today!
(Disclaimer: Phony book titles taken from various internet sources, author unknown. Descriptions are purely original.)