Author's Notes: This is an soliloquy on my opinion of today's English exam. Not all of the scenes are true.

It is to be

'It is to be laughed.' scoffed I to my father and tutor.

'It is to be feared.' scolded my father.

'It is to be studied.' added my tutor.

'It is to be ridiculed, belittled and neglected!' exclaimed I. "For it is to be English exam.'

And my thoughts and words, they were to be true.

For it was to be a reading comprehension of coackroach eggs, tacos and Cuulduude, (whoever he is), a reading comprehension of silent movie stars and bigfeet.

For it was to be a speaking comprehension of Loch Ness monsters, Robin Hood, unecessarily complicated plans and photocopies.

For it was to be a written composition of little girls with good information pretending to be Grand Duchesses.

For it was to be English. And it was to be easy.