this has been one hell of a year
looking for work in my field of career
looking for lust, fuck love,
it's too much to suffer from
went months without smokin up
neglected close friends
and was neglected again by relatives
i was broke all year
sleep deprived and never level headed
little vandal i am,
bat in hand and metal helmet
seven eleven's taken better care
of me over the years
be it through stealing
or free coupons from ad clippings
since last year i've lost a promising future
motivation to pursue girls
and the will to do good in school
i've done well so i don't care
wherever i end up it's better than here
i've learnt to be more insecure over the winter
it's june and i'm still recupperating
time heals all wounds
and my memory's fading
eventually the year 2003 won't even be history
the misery and bleeding won't be remembered
in a few short months
i wished i was dead far more than just once
i've tested my friends' friendship
and begged for attention
i've never complained so much in a year
i learnt to cry when i'm sad
i found out how fucked up i am
my own dreams that scare me
speak truths beyond what i can see conciously
my haunting thoughts
my empty wallet and pockets
my now callow heart
is all part of my nightmare incarnate

i swear this has been one fucked up year