Right, now we've all seen where I've come from, let's come back to where I am. Because some of that early stuff is just a bit odd. It was nice to read it again, but I'm happier with what I'm doing now.
What are you trying to do?
It's no-one else's fault
That you're shiftless and faithless
Most importantly in this bar faceless
What were you looking for?
Chug it down, walk away
You won't be finding it here
And what are you gonna do when you get home?
Or there. Stop searching
But oh god, five years of tears just left me with fears
I must be more than this phantom being I've become
I make more sense on a screen then I ever do in truth
Tired, so tired of wringing my soul out in these bloodless, inkless words
A little real humanity
Could probably save your sanity
Remembering laughter and talking and all the girls you've ever known
When you could charm a banana out of its skin
And then some
Into the night, the one I used to write
Gave me more in ten months than I got in these last years
Nowadays you're no more or less than the sum of too many fears
Parramatta road's too bleak, too cold
But right now you just feel old
And there must be more, there must, there must
Who could know you so well, who could love you like you remember
When you were worth it
So stop it, just stop it, put the fucking glass down, stop typing
The self obsession and pity
Is beginning to become nauseating
Your ancestors were fighters and giants
Don't roll over and die
Just feels too hard doesn't it?
But there's no magic button, you can't say
'Right well that's 365 days done, I'm over it now.'
Much as you'd like to, it doesn't work that way
And come on get off the floor, because you swore
You'd never be there again
A game, what a stupid ridiculous game, do I really need to play this?
I used to be so good at it, but now I find the whole thing laughable
Perhaps I'm simply better on my own
And that's good, good you can see it for what it is
When you're not even thinking about it
You'll see that you haven't forgotten how
And it was always as easy as breathing
Save yourself, no-one else is gonna do it for you
Just stop looking, quit pushing. There are no races to run. Take your time.
I trust in me only for the first time in my life
I'll rebuild my faith myself
Blake; Thanks again mate. I'd never have posted this without your beta! (Left in the confronting bit, as you can see)