Right, now we've all seen where I've come from, let's come back to where I am. Because some of that early stuff is just a bit odd. It was nice to read it again, but I'm happier with what I'm doing now.


Step backā€¦

What are you trying to do?

It's no-one else's fault

That you're shiftless and faithless

Most importantly in this bar faceless

What were you looking for?

Chug it down, walk away

You won't be finding it here

And what are you gonna do when you get home?

Or there. Stop searching

But oh god, five years of tears just left me with fears

I must be more than this phantom being I've become

I make more sense on a screen then I ever do in truth

Tired, so tired of wringing my soul out in these bloodless, inkless words

A little real humanity

Could probably save your sanity

Remembering laughter and talking and all the girls you've ever known

When you could charm a banana out of its skin

And then some

Into the night, the one I used to write

Gave me more in ten months than I got in these last years

Nowadays you're no more or less than the sum of too many fears

Parramatta road's too bleak, too cold

But right now you just feel old

And there must be more, there must, there must

Who could know you so well, who could love you like you remember

When you were worth it

So stop it, just stop it, put the fucking glass down, stop typing

The self obsession and pity

Is beginning to become nauseating

Your ancestors were fighters and giants

Don't roll over and die

Just feels too hard doesn't it?

But there's no magic button, you can't say

'Right well that's 365 days done, I'm over it now.'

Much as you'd like to, it doesn't work that way

And come on get off the floor, because you swore

You'd never be there again

A game, what a stupid ridiculous game, do I really need to play this?

I used to be so good at it, but now I find the whole thing laughable

Perhaps I'm simply better on my own

And that's good, good you can see it for what it is

One day

When you're not even thinking about it

You'll see that you haven't forgotten how

And it was always as easy as breathing

Save yourself, no-one else is gonna do it for you

Just stop looking, quit pushing. There are no races to run. Take your time.

I trust in me only for the first time in my life

I'll rebuild my faith myself

Blake; Thanks again mate. I'd never have posted this without your beta! (Left in the confronting bit, as you can see)