School has ended, and as I sit here listening to rock music on
the radio, in my pajamas, in my kitchen, I realize that I have to grow up.
Which means I have to get a job. Damn.
My mom tells me to put my head phones on, but I ignore her, what's the fun of listening to music if you can't sing along?
I spread the Horton Daily Paper across the table and scan the want ads. Babysitting, no, Nurse, no, McBooger's restaurant, no. So much for finding a job.
"Cliona! I thought I told you to turn that down!" By the way, my name's Cliona Shade ( yea, it sounds pretty bad, but what can you do when your mother reads romance novels and your great grandfather shortened the family name from Shadowskiwaska to Shade when he came to America from the old country centuries ago?), I'm 17 and if you couldn't guess I just finished my junior year of high school. I live in historical Horton, New Hampshire, have lived here all my life. I don't really know what's historical about it except for it's roads or maybe the librarian. Whatever.
"Hey Cli, are you ever going to get dressed? I mean you've been wearing that same outfit for close to a week now" says my older sister Cordelia (she got stuck with a romance novel name too, but hers is more acceptable because a popular tv show character is named Cordelia). Thing about old Cordy is that she, well I love her to death, but she is a tad bit of a snob. Ever since she started college and got a super fab internship at some hot shot law firm, she walks around the house like she's queen and tells everyone what to do. I think it's histerically funny, for who can be a snob, when you are nearly twenty years old and still live at home, relying on your mom to wash your underwear?
Back to her comment, I had been wearing these jammies for a week now, since school ended. I'm getting into summer mode that is all. After my body adjusts to sleeping in late and doing nothing all day, then maybe I'll regain the strength to change my clothes and shower regularly.
"You're funny Cordy, if you are going to insult me at least get the number of days right, it has been a week"
"How do you expect to get a job when you look like you crawled out of a dumpster and smell like it too?"
"I'll bathe when I go for an interview"
"Yea sure, well I'm late as it is, we'll continue this sister stuff later, kisses, bye"
"Uh-huh, bye" Man she can really make me laugh sometimes. Back to the want ads.
"Mary? Mary have you seen my shirt?" calls my father his name is Dave, and my mom's Mary if you haven't guessed that.
"Why would I have your shirt? Cliona have you seen your father's shirt?"
"NO MOM!"
"Cliona Arwyn Shade don't use that tone of voice with me!"
"Sorry" I never get what she mean's by tone. She's always telling me to stop using that tone and I never really get it. I just yelled back so she could hear me and she yells at me. Maybe I should tell her to stop using that tone. She'd probably kill me.
"Good morning Cli, looking for a job?" asks my dad.
"Good morning Dad, yea"
"Good luck on the job hunt hon, see you at three thirty" says my dad as he rushes out the door off to work. He is a small time architect. He mostly does house evaluations and stuff, occasionally he gets to design. He's really good at it. I don't know why he doesn't get to do more.
"Cliona I want you dressed right now! I have chores for you to do"
"Sure mom, whatever"
"Stop using that tone with me" yells my mom as she finally enters the kitchen. She always wants to be dramatic and stylish. I swear that a romance novel has been permanently planted into her brain. Perhaps in her mind I'm just a servant and she is the grand lady of the manor, my father is the dashing duke and my sister is their beautiful, perfect daughter. I'm too ugly and round to be a real part of her fantasy family.
"Here's your chores for today, make sure the toilet gets scrubbed correctly this time, you didn't get all the rings out last time. Take a shower and change those pajamas. How do expect to make friends with hygiene like that? Love you Cliona. See you later" says my mother as she rushes around the kitchen, then exits her palace gracefully. She's the editor of a magazine, "Le Chic" and works until very late. In fact I rarely see my family until the weekend. I guess you could say I only have a family two days a week.
Back to the want ads. How do they fit so many little messages on one sheet of paper? I can see how people strain their eyes reading these things. Well I'm tired now, I'm off to take a nap.
"CLIONA! CLIONA ARWYN SHADE GET DOWN HERE!"
"Ugghhhhh, yea mom, comin'" Man, why does she have to yell so loud. I was having a really good dream, I was just about to kiss some hot guy..
"Don't use that tone with me! Get down here!"
Oh no. It's the end of the world. I didn't do my chores. Hmmm. I wonder what time it is.
"Hi Mom, what's up?"
"Well Cliona, I just so happen to have good news. I have a job for you!"
"You do?" Maybe I'll actually get to work with my mom. That would be so cool! I'd meet all kinds of cool people.
"Yep a friend of mine from college called me today and asked me if I knew anyone who would be willing to participate in a writing study...
Great! I'm going to be a paid guinea pig. The servant girl did not fulfill her duties so the grand mistress of the manor had to send her on her way.
"It's in Aconsit, Maine, so you'll be living there of course. It starts tomorrow. So pack your stuff and I'll drop you off there tomorrow"
"Aconsit? Isn't that a four hour drive from here?" Gone, faraway in the middle of nowhere and a guinea pig. What wrong thing did I do in my past life?
"Yes, which is why we are leaving at three am"
"What? That's only five hours from now!"
"Exactly, which is why you must take a shower and pack your things"
"But when will I come home?"
"August 31 is when the study ends, so I will pick you up on September 1"
"Great"
"Don't use that tone with me, get going!"
Pack? Shower? How can I when all this new information is crammed in my head. What will I be doing? She said something about a writing study, sounds lame to me. Aconsit? I bet it's cold up there. Let's see long johns, wool socks, sweat pants, aw heck I'll just pack everything I own. I hope it lasts for the next two and a half months.
"Hi hon, how's things coming?" asks my dad.
"Dad, do I have to go?"
"It'll be a great opportunity, and you'll get to get away from this place for a while. You know see the world."
"Aconsit, Maine is hardly the world, Dad, besides what will I be doing there anyway?"
"Your mom said that you will be in a creative writing study, you know working with other writers and experimenting on literary ways"
"Did you just make that up?"
"No, it's what your mother told me. I don't understand it, but I know that you are a great writer and that this will help you become an amazing author"
"Thanks Dad" Oh well, guess I have to go along with it now. My dad really believes it.
"Good night hon, I'll miss you"
I hug my dad goodnight then I continue my packing. I expect to be interrupted by Cordelia, but she never comes home. Probably working late, it's too much to expect her to have time for a hot date.
After I finish my haphazard packing, I jump in the shower. I have three hours left. I had almost forgotten how good running water felt. And soap! Ahhh! So nice to have a flowery scent for a change. I guess I'll get back into my bathing routine. After this de-scenting, I return to my room. It looks so bare, I guess that means I've packed everything.
Time to hit the sack.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ 3 AM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"CLIONA ARWYN SHADE WAKE UP! IT"S TIME TO LEAVE!"
"Ughhhh...comin' mom"
"Don't use that tone with me, move it or loose it!"
I remove myself from my comfy bed and shrug on some sort of clothes. They felt like a t shirt and shorts, but I could be wrong. After all it is 3 am and it's very dark.
"CLIONA!"
"Yea yea, keep your shorts on!" I grumble, not loud enough for her to hear me. I finally drag myself down the stairs and into the kitchen, where my lady awaits me.
We shove my cases of clothes into the trunk of her brand new mustang. (All I know is that it's a mustang, I don't pay attention to the other details)
"Ok we're off" says my mom as she takes a gulp of ultra strong coffee. I put my head phones on and go off into the world of Jim Morrison and the Doors.
"People are strange, when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone" sings the Doors as I watch the ever changing background, gradually the telephone poles and buildings become trees and fence posts.
"CLIONA!"
"Yea mom?"
"We're almost there, they already have all the papers with your information and your picture, so it should be no trouble getting in" That's weird, why would they need a picture? I didn't even know that mom had a recent picture of me. I'm not exactly photogenic, I always have bad hair or pimples or I make stupid faces.
"You're not coming in with me?"
"I have to rush back home to work, sorry sweetie, I know it's nice, because this person is a good friend from college, oh his name is Allen Olden, Dr.Olden, ok?"
"Yea, sure mom, Dr.Olden" Why does that sound familiar?
We reach my destination. It's a run down facility, made of several white, concrete buildings, with the biggest of these located smack dab in the middle.
"This is it sweetie, tell Dr.Olden, 'hello' for me, ok? Have fun! I'll see you on September first!" says my mom as she hugs and kisses me good bye.
I grab my stuff from the trunk and then I watch my mom drive away. There goes home, mom, dad, Cordelia, mustang, and staying in jammies for the rest of the summer. There goes my life.
I sigh aloud and enter the building that is now my home and my job.
I read the faded sign on the building's dirty glass door.
"Olden-Ed, paving roads to the future of interpretation of writing"
How fun!
As I enter the place, I see a crummy desk covered in papers and a small mousy woman sitting behind it.
"Can I help you?" asks the woman in a sing song voice.
"Yes, I'm here for then writing study, for Dr.Olden? My name is Cliona Shade"
"Ah yes Ms.Shade, we have been expecting you, please go down that corridor and take a left. You will see a room that says "Dr. Allen P. Olden" on the door, and you can go right in"
"Okay. Thanks" Just because you are weirded out doesn't mean you don't have to be polite. I follow the lady's instruction and make it to the door. I knock once briskly
"Come in" calls a deep male voice from the other side of the dirty door. Man, they have to get someone to clean around here. I open the door.
"Hello, I'm..." I start
"Ms.Shade. I'm Dr.Olden, glad to meet you. Your mother said such nice things about you, and I feel that you are perfectly suited for this study" says Dr.Olden, looking me up and down. I don't like the way he says that.
"Thanks, but you've just met me"
"From all your paperwork, and just by looking at you I can tell that you are an intelligent, and talented young woman"
What a boat load of bull crap.
I just smile and nod slightly. The sooner he stops talking the sooner I can make an escape.
"You must be tired from your trip, here I'll show you to your room" says Dr.Olden as he gets up from his desk and guides me out of his office.
We walk down corridors and he talks about his work. He says he studies the way people learn so that he can make high tech educational toys. Whatever. This place looks like something out of a horror movie to me. We come across a room made of glass with children playing in it. I stop and ask him what it is for.
"It's a study room of how three year olds interact based on the environment" he replies coolly
I go to wave at the kids, but they don't wave back.
"They can't see you, dear, it's an observation room, we can see in, but they can't see out"
"Do you have lots of rooms like this?" I ask. I hope that I'm not going to be in one of these.
"Oh, this is our only one, so don't worry, we wouldn't do that to you" laughs Dr.Olden, realizing what I was thinking.
We walk on, silent until we finally reach my room. It is huge. The bed is huge, the windows hold amazing views! Nice! I could be liking this!
"I can see that your room suites you! All your meals will be brought to you, there's no tv, but there is an extensive library in the next room and you have your own full bath. Work starts tomorrow after breakfast, so I'll come to collect you at nine o'clock. Have a nice day today, but don't wonder around, don't want to disturb the other studies"
"Of course Dr.Olden, thank you!" Maybe this will be really nice, after all appearances aren't everything. It could be a nice break from my family.
"No, thank you Ms.Shade" says Dr.Olden as he exits my new room. I quickly lock the door and go adventure through the library. This is all mine! Woohoo!
I hope tomorrow's this much fun!
My mom tells me to put my head phones on, but I ignore her, what's the fun of listening to music if you can't sing along?
I spread the Horton Daily Paper across the table and scan the want ads. Babysitting, no, Nurse, no, McBooger's restaurant, no. So much for finding a job.
"Cliona! I thought I told you to turn that down!" By the way, my name's Cliona Shade ( yea, it sounds pretty bad, but what can you do when your mother reads romance novels and your great grandfather shortened the family name from Shadowskiwaska to Shade when he came to America from the old country centuries ago?), I'm 17 and if you couldn't guess I just finished my junior year of high school. I live in historical Horton, New Hampshire, have lived here all my life. I don't really know what's historical about it except for it's roads or maybe the librarian. Whatever.
"Hey Cli, are you ever going to get dressed? I mean you've been wearing that same outfit for close to a week now" says my older sister Cordelia (she got stuck with a romance novel name too, but hers is more acceptable because a popular tv show character is named Cordelia). Thing about old Cordy is that she, well I love her to death, but she is a tad bit of a snob. Ever since she started college and got a super fab internship at some hot shot law firm, she walks around the house like she's queen and tells everyone what to do. I think it's histerically funny, for who can be a snob, when you are nearly twenty years old and still live at home, relying on your mom to wash your underwear?
Back to her comment, I had been wearing these jammies for a week now, since school ended. I'm getting into summer mode that is all. After my body adjusts to sleeping in late and doing nothing all day, then maybe I'll regain the strength to change my clothes and shower regularly.
"You're funny Cordy, if you are going to insult me at least get the number of days right, it has been a week"
"How do you expect to get a job when you look like you crawled out of a dumpster and smell like it too?"
"I'll bathe when I go for an interview"
"Yea sure, well I'm late as it is, we'll continue this sister stuff later, kisses, bye"
"Uh-huh, bye" Man she can really make me laugh sometimes. Back to the want ads.
"Mary? Mary have you seen my shirt?" calls my father his name is Dave, and my mom's Mary if you haven't guessed that.
"Why would I have your shirt? Cliona have you seen your father's shirt?"
"NO MOM!"
"Cliona Arwyn Shade don't use that tone of voice with me!"
"Sorry" I never get what she mean's by tone. She's always telling me to stop using that tone and I never really get it. I just yelled back so she could hear me and she yells at me. Maybe I should tell her to stop using that tone. She'd probably kill me.
"Good morning Cli, looking for a job?" asks my dad.
"Good morning Dad, yea"
"Good luck on the job hunt hon, see you at three thirty" says my dad as he rushes out the door off to work. He is a small time architect. He mostly does house evaluations and stuff, occasionally he gets to design. He's really good at it. I don't know why he doesn't get to do more.
"Cliona I want you dressed right now! I have chores for you to do"
"Sure mom, whatever"
"Stop using that tone with me" yells my mom as she finally enters the kitchen. She always wants to be dramatic and stylish. I swear that a romance novel has been permanently planted into her brain. Perhaps in her mind I'm just a servant and she is the grand lady of the manor, my father is the dashing duke and my sister is their beautiful, perfect daughter. I'm too ugly and round to be a real part of her fantasy family.
"Here's your chores for today, make sure the toilet gets scrubbed correctly this time, you didn't get all the rings out last time. Take a shower and change those pajamas. How do expect to make friends with hygiene like that? Love you Cliona. See you later" says my mother as she rushes around the kitchen, then exits her palace gracefully. She's the editor of a magazine, "Le Chic" and works until very late. In fact I rarely see my family until the weekend. I guess you could say I only have a family two days a week.
Back to the want ads. How do they fit so many little messages on one sheet of paper? I can see how people strain their eyes reading these things. Well I'm tired now, I'm off to take a nap.
"CLIONA! CLIONA ARWYN SHADE GET DOWN HERE!"
"Ugghhhhh, yea mom, comin'" Man, why does she have to yell so loud. I was having a really good dream, I was just about to kiss some hot guy..
"Don't use that tone with me! Get down here!"
Oh no. It's the end of the world. I didn't do my chores. Hmmm. I wonder what time it is.
"Hi Mom, what's up?"
"Well Cliona, I just so happen to have good news. I have a job for you!"
"You do?" Maybe I'll actually get to work with my mom. That would be so cool! I'd meet all kinds of cool people.
"Yep a friend of mine from college called me today and asked me if I knew anyone who would be willing to participate in a writing study...
Great! I'm going to be a paid guinea pig. The servant girl did not fulfill her duties so the grand mistress of the manor had to send her on her way.
"It's in Aconsit, Maine, so you'll be living there of course. It starts tomorrow. So pack your stuff and I'll drop you off there tomorrow"
"Aconsit? Isn't that a four hour drive from here?" Gone, faraway in the middle of nowhere and a guinea pig. What wrong thing did I do in my past life?
"Yes, which is why we are leaving at three am"
"What? That's only five hours from now!"
"Exactly, which is why you must take a shower and pack your things"
"But when will I come home?"
"August 31 is when the study ends, so I will pick you up on September 1"
"Great"
"Don't use that tone with me, get going!"
Pack? Shower? How can I when all this new information is crammed in my head. What will I be doing? She said something about a writing study, sounds lame to me. Aconsit? I bet it's cold up there. Let's see long johns, wool socks, sweat pants, aw heck I'll just pack everything I own. I hope it lasts for the next two and a half months.
"Hi hon, how's things coming?" asks my dad.
"Dad, do I have to go?"
"It'll be a great opportunity, and you'll get to get away from this place for a while. You know see the world."
"Aconsit, Maine is hardly the world, Dad, besides what will I be doing there anyway?"
"Your mom said that you will be in a creative writing study, you know working with other writers and experimenting on literary ways"
"Did you just make that up?"
"No, it's what your mother told me. I don't understand it, but I know that you are a great writer and that this will help you become an amazing author"
"Thanks Dad" Oh well, guess I have to go along with it now. My dad really believes it.
"Good night hon, I'll miss you"
I hug my dad goodnight then I continue my packing. I expect to be interrupted by Cordelia, but she never comes home. Probably working late, it's too much to expect her to have time for a hot date.
After I finish my haphazard packing, I jump in the shower. I have three hours left. I had almost forgotten how good running water felt. And soap! Ahhh! So nice to have a flowery scent for a change. I guess I'll get back into my bathing routine. After this de-scenting, I return to my room. It looks so bare, I guess that means I've packed everything.
Time to hit the sack.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ 3 AM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"CLIONA ARWYN SHADE WAKE UP! IT"S TIME TO LEAVE!"
"Ughhhh...comin' mom"
"Don't use that tone with me, move it or loose it!"
I remove myself from my comfy bed and shrug on some sort of clothes. They felt like a t shirt and shorts, but I could be wrong. After all it is 3 am and it's very dark.
"CLIONA!"
"Yea yea, keep your shorts on!" I grumble, not loud enough for her to hear me. I finally drag myself down the stairs and into the kitchen, where my lady awaits me.
We shove my cases of clothes into the trunk of her brand new mustang. (All I know is that it's a mustang, I don't pay attention to the other details)
"Ok we're off" says my mom as she takes a gulp of ultra strong coffee. I put my head phones on and go off into the world of Jim Morrison and the Doors.
"People are strange, when you're a stranger, faces look ugly when you're alone" sings the Doors as I watch the ever changing background, gradually the telephone poles and buildings become trees and fence posts.
"CLIONA!"
"Yea mom?"
"We're almost there, they already have all the papers with your information and your picture, so it should be no trouble getting in" That's weird, why would they need a picture? I didn't even know that mom had a recent picture of me. I'm not exactly photogenic, I always have bad hair or pimples or I make stupid faces.
"You're not coming in with me?"
"I have to rush back home to work, sorry sweetie, I know it's nice, because this person is a good friend from college, oh his name is Allen Olden, Dr.Olden, ok?"
"Yea, sure mom, Dr.Olden" Why does that sound familiar?
We reach my destination. It's a run down facility, made of several white, concrete buildings, with the biggest of these located smack dab in the middle.
"This is it sweetie, tell Dr.Olden, 'hello' for me, ok? Have fun! I'll see you on September first!" says my mom as she hugs and kisses me good bye.
I grab my stuff from the trunk and then I watch my mom drive away. There goes home, mom, dad, Cordelia, mustang, and staying in jammies for the rest of the summer. There goes my life.
I sigh aloud and enter the building that is now my home and my job.
I read the faded sign on the building's dirty glass door.
"Olden-Ed, paving roads to the future of interpretation of writing"
How fun!
As I enter the place, I see a crummy desk covered in papers and a small mousy woman sitting behind it.
"Can I help you?" asks the woman in a sing song voice.
"Yes, I'm here for then writing study, for Dr.Olden? My name is Cliona Shade"
"Ah yes Ms.Shade, we have been expecting you, please go down that corridor and take a left. You will see a room that says "Dr. Allen P. Olden" on the door, and you can go right in"
"Okay. Thanks" Just because you are weirded out doesn't mean you don't have to be polite. I follow the lady's instruction and make it to the door. I knock once briskly
"Come in" calls a deep male voice from the other side of the dirty door. Man, they have to get someone to clean around here. I open the door.
"Hello, I'm..." I start
"Ms.Shade. I'm Dr.Olden, glad to meet you. Your mother said such nice things about you, and I feel that you are perfectly suited for this study" says Dr.Olden, looking me up and down. I don't like the way he says that.
"Thanks, but you've just met me"
"From all your paperwork, and just by looking at you I can tell that you are an intelligent, and talented young woman"
What a boat load of bull crap.
I just smile and nod slightly. The sooner he stops talking the sooner I can make an escape.
"You must be tired from your trip, here I'll show you to your room" says Dr.Olden as he gets up from his desk and guides me out of his office.
We walk down corridors and he talks about his work. He says he studies the way people learn so that he can make high tech educational toys. Whatever. This place looks like something out of a horror movie to me. We come across a room made of glass with children playing in it. I stop and ask him what it is for.
"It's a study room of how three year olds interact based on the environment" he replies coolly
I go to wave at the kids, but they don't wave back.
"They can't see you, dear, it's an observation room, we can see in, but they can't see out"
"Do you have lots of rooms like this?" I ask. I hope that I'm not going to be in one of these.
"Oh, this is our only one, so don't worry, we wouldn't do that to you" laughs Dr.Olden, realizing what I was thinking.
We walk on, silent until we finally reach my room. It is huge. The bed is huge, the windows hold amazing views! Nice! I could be liking this!
"I can see that your room suites you! All your meals will be brought to you, there's no tv, but there is an extensive library in the next room and you have your own full bath. Work starts tomorrow after breakfast, so I'll come to collect you at nine o'clock. Have a nice day today, but don't wonder around, don't want to disturb the other studies"
"Of course Dr.Olden, thank you!" Maybe this will be really nice, after all appearances aren't everything. It could be a nice break from my family.
"No, thank you Ms.Shade" says Dr.Olden as he exits my new room. I quickly lock the door and go adventure through the library. This is all mine! Woohoo!
I hope tomorrow's this much fun!