A/N Just a sweet little thing I wrote really late at night, due to the fact that I'm totally wiped out on ideas for my fics. Eventually I'll get back into a writing state of mind, or at least a state of mind for those, but for now, you get stuff like this. You might get a few weird little one-shots from me. Yes, this is a one-shot. Please don't ask for more about this little couple, because they are basically non-existent. Maybe I'll write about them in a different one-shot, but then this wouldn't be a one-shot, so I confused myself badly. I hope you like it anyway.
'If only I could make you love me.'
I stared at him, wishing with all my heart that I could make him love me.
He leaned back in the grass, staring at the sky, not seeming to realize that my eyes were on him. I watched him so carefully, playing with the grass stalks near my hand.
Suddenly he turned to me, shocking me into shifting my eyes as quickly as I could to something over his shoulder. "Do you see that cloud?" he asked, pointing up at the sky. "It looks like an elephant."
"Which cloud?" The sky was dotted with big, white, fluffy clouds. I narrowed my eyes at them, willing an elephant to appear, but none did. "I don't see it."
"You don't?" He moved closer to me, leaning right next to me. My heart stopped beating. He studied the sky for a moment, then pointed, keeping his arm as close to me as possible. "That one."
I followed the line of his arm, and nodded. "I see it now. It does look like an elephant."
"Uh, I see it."
"I know." He lowered his arm, looking a bit sheepish. My heart resumed beating, although at a very irregular pace. He was so close. So close I could turn my head and he'd be right before me. So close I could brush my lips against his cheek without shifting position. So close I could feel the heat emanating off of him. So close...
I tried to banish such thoughts from my head. "What are you doing?"
He shrugged. "I just kinda like sitting this way, you know?"
I did know. I loved it, and my heart flipped to hear him say that. "Uh... okay..."
Glancing over at me worriedly, he asked, "Am I making you uncomfortable? I'm sorry..." Before I could say anything, he moved away from me and the moment passed. The awkward, shocking, wonderful moment was over.
I lowered my gaze to the grass. I didn't want to look at the sky anymore. It looked so close, but was so far away, and it reminded me somehow of him. He was right next to me, but he was far away and I could never have him.
How I wish I could touch the sky.
He pointed again. "There, a cat. Reminds me of you, huh?"
"What do you mean?" I saw the very cloud he was looking at. In fact, I'd noticed it right before I'd looked down.
"You're so independent. You move so gracefully, and the way you get so indignant sometimes, it's just like a cat that's had water dumped on it." He laughed gently, not a taunting one, but one that made me want to laugh with him.
I sighed instead. It didn't seem like he'd ever care about me the way I wanted him to. "Yeah, maybe."
"Is it that bad?" he wondered, studying my face curiously. "I didn't mean for it to be an insult."
I didn't want to be independent. I wanted so badly for him to see that I needed him. "I'm sorry, I was just kind of lost in thought there."
"Oh, alright." His gaze wandered back to the sky. Then, "Why do you always seem so distant?"
"What?" I wasn't sure if I'd heard him right.
"I mean, you're always thinking. Why's that?"
I thought about my answer for a moment, then replied slowly, "I guess it's so I don't say the wrong thing. I don't want to say something stupid and have someone not like me because of it." When he laughed at me, with that sweet endearing laugh he has, I demanded, "What? Is it bad that I don't want to sound like an idiot?"
Between laughs, he answered, "No, no, that's not it! It's just... it's just..."
"It's just what?"
"It's just that I want to know what it's like to make you unable to think of what to say."
I froze. For a moment, time stopped, then he turned and hugged me. My heart pounded so hard that I thought he could hear it. He whispered, "I want to know what it's like to make you unable to think anymore." Then he pulled away from me a bit, staring into my eyes, and closed the gap between us.
For a moment, the kiss was so tentative that I wasn't sure what to do. Then he held me closer, moving his lips against mine. I pressed my mouth firmly against his, afraid to end the moment.
Of course, breathing is a human necessity, so it had to end eventually. When it did, my pulse was considerably higher than it had been, and I was breathing a bit harder than was normal.
He had the oddest expression on his face, halfway between exalted and worried. He had his hands on my waist, and I was right in front of his face.
"So... this is what it's like," he whispered so softly that it was more like a breath. Then he kissed me again.
So this is what it's like to touch the sky.