we used to do shit every day
you needed a reason to wake
i used to be it, but everything's changed
it's been more than just days
since the last time i made time
to put a bright smile on your face
it's been too long since my smile's been sincere
to my family and friends, this face i've been faking
i'm encouraged by everyone to pretend
they act like it's best i act as if nothing happenned
i know how it feels to see suffering
knowing deep down that nothing can help
so at home alone i mourn a lost soul
on my futon i toss all night long
lost in thought,
i watch my tears blanket cloth
grip the sheets tightly in my sleep
dreaming of a thankless marriage,
negligent parents,
and a life without caring,
wake up scared and staring
at rips and tears in my favorite quilt
i'm so traumatized at night
i wreck what's left that tries to lighten my strife
this is no metaphor
this is very straightforward
i can't stand living this life anymore